A little girl comes home from playing next door with Billy and says, "Mummy, Billy's willy is just like a peanut."
Mother says, "what do you mean honey! You mean it's really tiny?"
Little girl, "No, it tastes salty"
2006-11-14 12:24:30 · 14 answers · asked by toietmoi 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol thats so wrong!!!!
2006-11-14 12:26:48 · answer #1 · answered by micmegan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b i a t c h knows I'm smarter than her
2006-11-14 20:45:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol 10/10 very funny
2006-11-14 20:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by chris b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's funny dude,good joke..
2006-11-14 20:37:51 · answer #4 · answered by Jocko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny!!
2006-11-14 20:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very wrong.
Very funny.
Very disgusting.
2006-11-14 20:36:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol
2006-11-15 06:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by partymad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao, cute, but if my little girl came home and said that.......things that could happen!?!
2006-11-14 21:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by coco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooooo mmmmyyy lol
2006-11-14 20:41:47 · answer #9 · answered by michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so wrong yet so funny
2006-11-14 21:08:26 · answer #10 · answered by BluhBluh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha. wrong, but funny. ugh!
2006-11-14 20:32:40 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋