How do I keep from being taken for granted?

Question

Hi, Im a 22 year old guy, and I have a question.

Somehow, no matter how much I love a woman, it always ends up that the woman takes me for granted.

There are those guys whose women are utterly devoted to them. Im not one of them. Somehow, the women always assume that I'll always be around, Ill always be the one to call, etc etc.

I hate this, and it makes me angry at myself. Maybe I am too needy, and maybe I have too little self confidence. I dont know. I dont really think so, It just makes me sad, because something about me always causes this to happen, and ruins what should be a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Sometimes its great to be wanted or needed, but when your needs aren't being met or reciprocated, it can be very easy to feel "taken for granted" - try talking to the girl in question about some of the things which are making you angry, she will either wake up and listen and see your point of view or shun you altogether - either way you'll be a winner!

Answer 2

This woman has a decent handle on some of the problems you mention: http://www.loveadvice.com/

My answer to your question is to make sure your woman knows that you're desireable to other women. Not that you should flirt with them overtly or in front of her, but every woman wants to know she's with a hot guy who only wants HER. Sounds like your hotness factor decreases after you've been together for a while.

Also, you could be acting out something you always wanted and never got from your mother/father. That's Harville Hendrix's theory, and if you are interested enough to read a fairly long book about it, you could get KEEPING THE LOVE YOU FIND by Hendrix. It's not a bad idea. Learning what's in there could keep you from marrying the wrong person, and that's a pretty painful and expensive mistake.

Good luck. :-)

Answer 3

yeah i have the same problem. but i'm not a guy. somehow, my relationships start out great, but eventually they always use me for my money (not that i have a lot but i work my *** off and always manage to make more) and the fact that i don't like to argue. i mean, i will if i get angry, but for the most part i will just sit there and let it bother me rather than say something and get something thrown at me (which is rarely what happens but that is what i always think will). i was the one that was utterly devoted to my guy. and in the end i was used for it. so to answer your question, i have no idea what the problem is. honestly i don't think it's your fault, you just happen to find women that treat you like that.

Answer 4

in the event that they handle you like an orderly or a servant, then they don't seem to be your pals. We call him in India "Chaamchaa" (a spoon). with the aid of fact a spoon is utilized by making use of others to eat foodstuff, and then thrown away after use. So, a spoon continually enables as an suggestions, despite the fact that it has no magnitude or admire of its very own. So, you have merely substitute right into a Chaamchaa of them. yet on the comparable time you reported, you dont prefer to be on my own, you merely choose some admire from them as a pal. Dont you detect the different sturdy pals, who provides you with some admire? If not, then in the event that they order you to convey some banana, then purchase the worst rotten bananas from the industry. in the event that they call you to hold the glass for water, act as though it has slipped out of your hand, and harm it up into products of their room in front of them. And do such issues oftentimes. they'll substitute into indignant, and could say some rude words to you. yet continually act as though it has passed off by twist of fate.

Answer 5

i find that a lot of guys make the girls "devoted" by being utter jerks - so don't even try to do that. if you're single right now, stop searching for a relationship for awhile and find yourself. figure out how to boost your confidence. wait for a girl to ask you out. you're 22, so you have plenty of time. also, taking relationships a lot slower helps, if the girl gets what she wants right away, she might lose interest.

Answer 6

Stop giving too much without receiving anything in return.always tell the woman you are dating about your expectations and if they freak out then they are not gonna meet your needs.

Answer 7

That is cause these are the wrong women your dating, you need to become just friends, and just see what kind of person she is, take time...

Answer 8

What kind of girls are you dating? You just haven't found the right kind of girl for you. Basically, if they are not meeting your needs and you are doing your part in the relationship move on. They are not the right girl for you.

Answer 9

Leave 'em, schmoe. They won't appreciate you till you're gone.