I've been seeing a guy for 3 mths. He's recently sep'd after 12 yrs (wife cheated/chose her lover). They are both caring for their 2 children and ARE getting div'd.
I've been loving it-he's called each day/included me/treated me to dates. I've told him I love him a few times. He was my b-friend when I was 15 (I'm 40 now/no kids).
When I first called he said he was dating. We've talked about going slow.
I knew he was stressed, but I learned only recently just HOW much. He feels "spread too thin" at times. Some stress recently caught ME by surprise, too. Understandably, I am not THE priority in his life (his kids are), but I'm only human. So I had a couple moderate "tear sessions" recently/nothing *too* "crazy." He cried once with me.
I haven't seen him now for 1 1/2 wks but will tomorrow. We've talked by phone 3 times.
1) Am I "relationship material" to him or "rebound girl?"
2) Was this mini break-up inevitable (or did my tears cause it)?
3) Should I wait? How long?
2006-11-14 11:02:10 · 6 answers · asked by Taramasu2U 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh course you have to wait. He's getting divorce and doens't matter how bad things were in his marriage, getting divorce is never easy. Let him feel free again. Let him enjoy himself. Give him time. I don't think he's ready for another relationship
2006-11-14 11:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1.) You won't know if you're relatioship material or not for a while. If he's just gotten this divorse recently then it must be terribly hard for him, especially because he didn't stop loving his wife, she cheated on him.
2.) The mini breakup i'm sure was bound to happend. The tears may have made him worry that he was getting in too deep too quick, and doesn't want to hurt you and is trying to avoid getting hurt himself
3.) If you really care about him, and if the relationship is worth something to you, then yes, you should wait. If you feel that it is worth it. If anything, let him know that you are always there for him as his friends, and as more when he is ready and the time is right.
2006-11-14 19:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by peace318sb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man has been thru a bad relationship with his wife and is scared to get into another relationship that may turn sour. Speaking from experience, he likes you, but he is scared. He's tried the dating, and he knows you like him, but he's scared. He doesn't want to hurt you, so he is taking the coward way out and saying he "needs space, I don't know what I want". All I can tell you is to give him time, give him space. What he would like to hear from you is for you to tell him that you'll wait for him and give him all the space he needs in order to get over his feelings for his ex-wife. By the way, he is angry about his ex-wife, even if he says he isn't, so that takes time to get over. A new relationship is not what he needs or wants right now. If he is worth waiting for, then give him time, and please don't pressure him or he'll run for the hills. Good luck.
2006-11-14 19:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by Cannibal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he used you for the rebound girl. He needs to get his life in order before making anothe commitment.
Atleast let him get through the divorce.
2006-11-14 19:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by mellijenk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u waited a litl 2 long and your 40!?!?!?!!?
2006-11-14 19:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by funnymunny3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your waisting your time find someone else
2006-11-14 19:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by kodak moment 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋