I slept with this guy two times before but after learning more about his past experiences I don't want to have sex until he gets tested.
Yesterday we were close to doing it again but I stopped him cause all I could think about was STDs and how I didnt know if he had any. He stopped, no questions asked and was sweet about it.
We've talked about sexual things before but this is different and I never asked anyone to get tested before that I just had a casual relationship with and dont want him to think I want anything serious with him just because of that.
How do I approach this? What should I say? Is it ok to be straight up about it and tell him nothing will happen until I see the results or should I be more subtle??
PLEASE HELP! And please, only constructive answers no judgments, I dont need that right now. Thanks!
2006-11-14 10:43:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why not just suggest that you both get tested as both have had previous partners. This way your not putting all the onus on him and admitting that you are concerned about each other's health. It is wise to do this whenever you begin a new relationship as a form of safety first.
2006-11-14 10:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could make an appointment for your own STD check up. When you guys are talking and asking what you have planned just mention you have a appointment to get tested. Then you can say maybe you should get tested too to make sure we are both safe.
-OR-
You could mention that you'd feel more comfortable getting tested and ask him if he wants to go together to support each other.
If he takes offense to you asking him to get tested, BE WORRIED. If he really likes you then he will want to be safe too and will get tested.
2006-11-14 19:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by Ray 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest and strait forward just tell him he needs to get tested because you value your health and I'm sure he values his as well then the both of you can enjoy each other without having this issue on your minds. Good luck and you should never feel scared about voicing whats important to you. If he doesn't agree with you then he's not worth your time.
2006-11-14 18:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by klynna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a condom, you don't have to worry about std's. If you insist on one, which you should, you shouldn't have to go thru the question no one likes to ask. Also, asking a person to get tested and show you the paper work is going overboard a bit. If you are concerned about AIDS, just don't sleep with him. Kissing him with bleeding gums can cause you to come into contact with his blood, so if your concerend with his health issues, find another "friend with benifits" to have fun with. Good luck, and I am available if you need a new "friend" ;)
2006-11-14 18:54:36 · answer #4 · answered by Cannibal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be direct and ask him. FYI: In a book called "Never Be Lied to Again," the author suggests that that if you ask a person "have you ever been tested for STD's, and they answer "yes," but they don't ask you the same... they're probably lying.
I had a friend who wanted her partner to get tested. By telling her partner that she was getting tested, it prompted him to get tested as well.
2006-11-14 18:49:43 · answer #5 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that before you sleep together anymore, you'd like for both of you to get tested. Say something like, "it's not that I think either of us has something, but you can't be too careful." Ask if he wants to go alone or together. If he wants to go alone, say "okay, we can bring our results to show to each other." If he won't go along with this, there is probably a reason.
2006-11-14 18:47:02 · answer #6 · answered by sarcastro1976 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you both are sitting around, let him know that you've been thinking about getting checked out for std's. Then mention to him that you think it would be a good idea for him to do that also. Let him know that it's a big deal for you to be checked out whenever you have a new partner. If he doesn't get checked, you need to kick his booty to the curb...
2006-11-14 18:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by Estrella Negra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him why you're stopping all the action. It's not an awkward thing to ask someone to get testing. Just ask him. He'll understand.
2006-11-14 18:46:34 · answer #8 · answered by jazzmetalbassist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say...
we were very stupid for not getting tested before but now I really want both of us to do it. Let's pick a date and go for it.
2006-11-14 18:46:44 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about suggesting that you both go get tested together. That way you both be secure.
2006-11-14 18:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by Dan J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋