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put yourself in my shoes. youre best friends with this girl. you guys become realllly tight. and then you realize that shes completely opposite of you but you fall for her anywayss. and youre in that stage of about askign her out, but too afraid too kinda stage, and then it happens. she starts going out with this other guy she was best friends with, and youre crushed, devastated. you dnt kno what youll say to her, so you sorta kinda aviod her for a week or two after her hookup with some other guy, but somehow, someway you become tight as hell again, liek you were b4 she started going out. it hurts you everytime theyre together, but oyu dnt do anything cus youre not that kinda person to sabatage their relationship. so what do you do? try to forget her(ive tried trust me, but since were tight as hell again its so hard to stop liking her) or wait it outt and see what happens(i doubt it though, theyve been going out for 3 months now). anyone help me out? really appreciate it

2006-11-14 10:25:49 · 23 answers · asked by some jersey kid 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

23 answers

nope. boys and girls can't be True friends.. esp in ur case!! (watch "When Harry Met Sally....)....

when one person has feelings for the other, the "FRIENDSHIP" is over. and u are only nice to her cuz u still have feelings for her, not cuz u are truly her Friend. u will bend over backwards to do anything for her, not cuz ur just a friend, but cuz u LIKE her. therefore, it is not the same as a friend. =T if u don't want to get hurt over and over, ur gonna have to do one of these things:


1) come clean and tell her u can't be close w/ her because you like her, and want her to break up w/ her boyfriend

2) start maintaining ur distance, making urself more busy, getting more involved w/ activities and meeting new friends

if u keep hanging out w/ her, ur just gonna get hurt. unless she "magically" changes her mind and goes for you..but are u really going to wait for that to happen, or are u gonna continue living ur own life! good luck~

2006-11-14 10:32:19 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1 0

You sound like one of the decent guys, so you have two options. Move on or Tell her. Move on and you might still be thinking about her, but at least you'll get some dating in and it might help you realize what you do or don't want in a girl. Tell her and it could become awkward, but it already IS awkward, right? If you decide to talk, I'd say - shortly before Christmas, give her a very thoughtful gift (but nothing too big) and tell her how you feel. This will give the winter break (I'm guessing you're in school, am I right?) to mull things over.

It sucks being The Duck (watch Pretty in Pink) but maybe if it doesn't work out, maybe you'll land a bombshell. :D

2006-11-14 10:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by volleyjacket 3 · 0 0

Your story is so common. Do not listen to the girl advice of "just telling her how you feel" or even worse waiting for her. That is a sure ticket to humiliation and you're better than that. Girls are not stupid, she already knew you had a crush on her. How could she not?

The raw statistics (pure probability) say she will NEVER date you and always think of you as a little pathetic. Play the odds, get interested in other girls as fast as you can and ignore this chick completely. When she calls become busy, get other friends. In the remote chance she's palying games with you this should smoke her out and she'll break up with him. But chances are she really likes him and really thinks of you as NOT DATABLE.

Don't be a puppydog. It will last a long, long time and be a very sad waste of time.

2006-11-14 10:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I hate to break it to you, but you could be "just a friend". A lot of girls value having a male friend and visa versa. Unfortunately, she may never see you the same way you see her. What you need to figure out is whether or not you are willing to risk that friendship and tell her, or if you're happy with the friendship and would rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. She may feel the same and is afraid you don't. Just becareful. Your actions could come back and bite you.

2006-11-14 10:28:54 · answer #4 · answered by D S 4 · 0 0

you cant be his friend. you have to fight for what you want. its not sabotage, its getting what you want and diserve. i dont know your story percisely but ive been there. not fun. i liked her for two years. sad i know. and guess what? nothing ended up happening and nothing probably will. the best thing i can tell you is dont be a jackass. if you really like this girl do whats in your heart. act like more than a friend. when hes not around be flirty as hell. when he is make him look bad while making yourself look good (if you three are together and hes being a dick or doesnt want to do somthing you go like say your at the mall and he doesnt want to go into a store or somthing. go in with her. she'll say somthing like "thank you hes so stubborn some times") dont just let it be though, you gotta do somthing. good luck man, i hope you succede where i screwed up.

2006-11-14 10:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by zxcvzxcv 3 · 0 0

i can put myself in your shoes, but in the opposite way. I have a really good guy friend and we have always been really tight. we had this thing for each other a while ago, but i thought it ended. I started going out with this other guy and we ended up dating for 10 months. We just broke up a month ago, and now me and my guy friend are really close again. I just found out that he was really jealous while i was dating that other guy. I didnt think there was anything between us, but he did. He didnt do anything even though he was crushed. He liked me so much that he was happy becaue i was happy with that other guy. I guess what i am trying to say is...wait for her! she will come around. true friends always do.

just for reference, i think my tight guy friend is totally datable! : ) good luck!

2006-11-14 10:31:37 · answer #6 · answered by andi 1 · 0 0

get a handle on your feelings for her. If you want to remain tight friends, then you need to do this. You need to start keeping an eye out for another love interest, and stop letting this be a problem. Enjoy the friendship you have with this girl, and start enjoying life....

2006-11-14 10:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by P-Nut 7 · 0 0

Wait. Pacience, hon. B very very very nice 2 her, don't change and don't act jelous when she's with him. She may even b doing it 2 see ur reaction. Give her tips with her bf. Act so very nice, remember that. I know this may seem crazy, 2 help the enemy (HER bf with HER), but just......... trust me, ok?. Come on, I'm a girl, I know.

oxox,
Little Cowy

p.s. Hope it works. Whatever u do don't try 2 give up, u won't achieve it anyway, really! when my bf and me r having problems, I just try 2 4-get him and it dosen't work! so why fake?, go 4 it. And also, flirt with her, but not in a really noticable way, just show her u r interested without no one else noticing.

2006-11-14 10:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by Golden 2 · 0 1

Well, you can tell her how you really feel. That wouldn't be sabotaging her relationship, that would pretty much give her the choice. It may make your friendship a bit complicated though, think about weather or not you wanna stay tight friends, or try to see if it could be more.......hope I helped some......Good Luck!

2006-11-14 10:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by StonerChick 3 · 0 0

Has she dumped the other guy? If not back off...otherwise youre determined but opposites wont stay attracted usually for the long haul...

2006-11-14 10:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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