self inflicted pain?????

Question

i have this friend who mutilates her body she told me about it and i found it to be kind of weird and strange...i asked her why she does it she told me it was a way to make her feel better about things when shes unhappy and sad i couldnt quit understand her but even though i thought she was crazy i still stick by her...but the problem is that her mom has asked me about her i dont know what to say to her my friend has told me to keep it quite but i feel that if i do one day something bad will happen and i dont want to live with that regret..any help please

Answer 1

You tell your friend that her mom has asked you about it but you haven't said anything yet. You want to give her a chance to tell her mother first and if she dosen't you will because this is nothing to play around with. Your friend is in trouble. She needs to seek some kind of professional help and now. Your friend may be upset with you for awhile but in the end I think she will be thanking you. Sounds like your a good friend. Good luck to both you and your friend.

Answer 2

Chances are, your friend is probably not doing this for attention or to be "cool" or "hardcore". Your friend may have depression, bipolar, or another disorder, or she might just not know a better way to cope with her problems. Although self-injury isn't a "healthy" coping mechanism, it's more common than you may think.

The best thing you can do for your friend right now is to be there for her. Start reading up on self-injury (psyke.org and self-injury.net are some helpful websites) so you can learn more about her problem and are able to understand her better. If your friend is comfortable talking about this with you, then talk with her about it. Try not to judge her, even though you may think her behavior is kind of weird, but listen to what she has to tell you. But whatever you do, do not go behind your friend's back and tell her mother, although it may help her, it might just make things worse for her. You can and should encourage her to tell her mom or another adult, but don't do it for her. However, if your friend plans to kill herself (not if she says something like "I hate my life" or "I'm not so sure I want to live anymore", but only if she says something like "I am going to take a bottle of Advil tonight"), you should tell her mom or another trusted adult IMMEDIATLY. Suicide threats should always be taken seriously.

Bottom line: ENCOURAGE your friend to get help, but don't get help for her!

Answer 3

I would work on your friend to tell her mom and to get help but do it in a kind and loving way. She isn't crazy. A lot of people practice self-mutilation. They have underlying issues and they find this the best way to handle it. It is possible the mom is part of the issue which is why she doesn't want her to know or she could be ashamed.

Answer 4

When someone is in deep emotional pain, a distraction from the pain is pleasant, video games, television, drugs etc. With your example it is a little more intense, physical pain overwhelms and distracts emotional suffering. Her parents rigidity, conformist attitude, and repressed emotions are being expressed through their daughter in her actions. The doctors will dope her up on antidepressants which will work for a while but do have very high consequences. (unknown to doctors at the moment) saying this to explain doctors are of no help. Her parents will treat her more aggressively and actually do more harm at the knowing of this, adding the betrayal of her trust by you, will hurt her more. What she needs is two things, first, someone to listen and hear her pains and struggles, especially with her parents. Second, she is an unexpressed artist, encourage her to do a form of art that lets her express her pain.... art with emotion,

as what to say to the mother, tell her to read some books on raising children and try listening to her child without judgement

Answer 5

She may be mad at you but you should tell her mom. The reality is that once you start it's hard to stop on your own. Either way you could lose her friendship, if she continues this she could kill herself (accidently or not) or she might hate you for telling her mom. It seems you care about your friend, and I'm sure you'd rather her live and not be your friend then die. So even if she does hate you for awhile (or forever) its better that she gets some help.

Answer 6

tell your friend these tips to help her stop:


if you go to www.dmlive after 6, there is an IM type thing (or they have a number you can call) to get advice on how to stop. it's kind of a doctor phil thing.

if you don't (or can't) do that, try figuring out why you're cutting yourself.
-for pain-squeeze an ice cube instead (really really hard. it works) or snap a rubberband on your wrist anytime you think about cutting. eventually your mind will associate that thought w/ the sharp pain of the rubberband
-because you like to see blood- get a henna tattoo kit or draw on yourself w/ sharpies or pen (baby lotion will get sharpie off pretty well)

try doing something else w/ your time. like, doing your nails, cutting pictures out of a magazine and making a collage, swimming, anything that will take your mind off of cutting yourself.

in the meantime, i hope that you overcome this. "everytime you cut yourself, you cut your soul."

you can also use vitamin e to help get rid of the scars

your friend shouldn't go to a mental institute unless she is doing serious damage. like ripping veins and losing a lot of blood.

Answer 7

she is considered a cutter. Cutters will cut themselves as a way of dealing with pain. A majority of the time they aren't doing it to kill themselves, just to see the blood to know that they can feel. It does escalate and get worse. You need to tell her mom. She may be mad at you at first. But there could be a bigger issue that you or her mom don't know about as to why she is cutting herself. She needs help that neither you or her mom can give her.

Answer 8

i know how you feel , but I'm thinking ..ask yourself this .
would you rather have a dead friend one that's killed her self getting carried away with whats shes doing. or one that's alive and mad at you
if shes dead its too late for anything but if shes mad maybe someday she will realize what she was doing and will be gratefull to you .
i'm afraid if you tell her she has a choice to tell her mom or you will . that that might stress her out and she doesnt need that on her head
she needs help . seriously.
ide choose a friend that hates me but is still alive .
sorry you have to go thru this . i hope things work out for the best .

Answer 9

well if you feel like it could be life threatning you should tell your friends mom. i know you want to help your friend, but you may not want to push the subject with her too much it would be far too stressful for you friend.which is why you should go the other way and tell her parents so they can get her help. i can tell you really care about your friend but act on your feeling if you feel she is in danger help her. also try not to get in fights and stuf with her it makes her more likly to cut again. it seems to me the reason why she is cutting herself is because she is stressed out and she also dose it to relive herself of emoitional pain. she feels like she cant go to any one else so she goes to the last resourt. it is like when your really mad it feels good to throw things and scream she it doing somthing similar but she is screaming on the inside. you can help her but you have to make her understand what she is doing to herself and that she dose need help. but dont treat her like she is mental even though you may not understand why she hurts herself it would upseat her to think you thought she was crazy. its like drinkers they dont think there alcoholics but they are. it is going to be hard and she may get mad but she WILL understand where your coming from you doing this all out of love. if you just stay with her and help her as much as you can i think she will come around. good luck to you and i hope you can help your friend.

Answer 10

My friend once told my Mum that I self injured. It did me no good. But thats not saying it wont help your friend. But I think you should take it slowly and talk to your friend more about it before you go to her Mum. I dont know how old you guys are, but maybe there is another adult she would feel more comfortable talking about it with? Tell her Mum that its not up to you to tell her and that she needs to confront your friend herslef.?