Now she won't talk to me at all. She said I am a disappointment to the family. How canI make her understand that I want this baby and she is just going to have to like it or lose me?
2006-11-14 09:38:09 · 15 answers · asked by pandiebear17 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She thinks I am a disappointment because my boyfriend and I aren't married yet
2006-11-14 09:52:00 · update #1
She is disappointed. She will talk to you, don't worry. I got pregnant and on purpose at 16 years old, I was also raised in a VERY religious family. I was living with my grandmother at the time, and I tried hiding my pregnancy for as long as I could. I hurt my family simply because they had high hopes for me. Your life doesn't stop... but it will become very hard. It is not easy raising a child, unmarried and so young. You have your entire life ahead of you. When you get pregnant it is very difficult, and your family think it is a irresponsible thing you have done.
Give your grandma time, she loves you and she will soon come around. You right now need someone dear to you to help you through this. Don't ever have the you like or lose me attitude to your family members because you will need them over and over again. Don't ever give your back to any of them.
Prayers to you...
2006-11-14 09:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy Shut Your Mouth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK your dealing with one of mine from the old school, By that I mean we were taught that you dated, got engaged. and then married and then had a child. Give her time, its not easy when you see one of your children get pregnant before marriage, Tell her you need her and you want her great grandchild, to know her just like you do, Explain to her how you feel about having this child and then drop it . Its in her hands now so the next step is hers. When the baby is born and if she still feels the same, just go visit her and show her the baby, No one can resist a baby. Good Luck
2006-11-14 23:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in her shoes. She is very old fashioned I take it. That is not a bad thing, necessarily, but while times have changed with what is socially acceptable, it is not always a good thing. I am not saying you are a bad person, but made a poor choice to have unprotected sex with someone who is not your husband. I am disappointed that my generation and younger think this is okay. I am disappointed that it is socially acceptable to have children out of wedlock.
You need to consider your relationship with the father, first. Is it a permanent thing? If it is, take care of the details for your child's sake. It will set a good example for him/her later in life. Think of it being your grandchild in your shoes. Would this make you happy?
Talk to grandma and let her know what your feelings are about his event. Let her know you respect and value her opinion and hope that she will come around to seeing the positives in this, as you have.
2006-11-14 19:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by alicia0821 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have anyone else to talk to? Why did you tell her? Does she think instead of retirement now she will have to babysit? Try telling her you have great news, "I got an abortion". If she still won't talk then you've proved she's a hypocrite or psychotic. You can't have it both ways. Right? The worst part of this is you're taking all the punches. What do you want to do? Keep it? Give it away? Why does what gramma think so important to you? You need to get down to the real facts of what makes you YOU!
2006-11-14 17:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by nomatt3r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a teenager and are not married and you have a baby, it's understandable that she is mad. If you are over 21, and even better are MARRIED, she has little reason to be angry. Don't worry too much in the end - if you are absolutely sure you want the baby and will be a good and responsible parent, she will get over her anger.
good luck!!
2006-11-14 17:42:48 · answer #5 · answered by skigrrl66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big deal you gave Grandma a choice? Maybe she should have given you a choice? You can't blame her for being disappointed can you? Give her time to get over the shock, she still loves you, time heals all wounds!
2006-11-14 17:42:47 · answer #6 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot make her accept anything. if you are going to keep the baby just understand and accept her disappointment. no big one. you are the one who has to care for the baby not her or your family. if they dont want to be a part of the babys life then to hell with them.i truly believe that with time they will come around, no one can look into a cute little face and not love it.
2006-11-14 17:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by scott s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't give ultimatums unless you truly want to cut off all ties with your grandma. Let it sink in. Let other family members talk to her. Ask her why you are a disappointment and if there is anything you can do to change that view. Talk to her, don't just say screw you and write her off.
2006-11-14 17:40:42 · answer #8 · answered by D S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it she will most likely come around and if not thenm Oh well, it is her lost. Give it a little time she will get over it, especially when the baby arrives.
2006-11-14 17:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it be it may be hard but she will realize that the baby isn't going to just disappear and hopefully get over if not then shes the one who looses out on a wonderful great grand baby.
2006-11-14 17:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋