Why is there such negativity surrounding big families?

Question

I have seven children in total and my wife and I have five children together, we are constantly told we have too many despite the fact that we are financially able to provide for all of them.
What is wrong with wanting lots of kids when we are in love with every single one of them?
My wife is now pregnant with our sixth child and we couldn't be happier but I am nervous about telling my parents,friends and siblings. What do you think?
Our youngest child is 1yr old and our oldest is 13yrs old-and no we don't rely on him to look after the younger ones we recognise that as individuals all our children need their own space.

Thanks for all your wishes. elaeblue-we are actually having a little girl which is pretty awesome as we already have four boys and one girl who is dying for a little sister.Obviously though as long as she is healthy I dont mind.

Answer 1

Wow really is there? I have five kids and I bring them all out together all the time, I have never been approached in anything but a positive way.
Many people can't believe they are all mine but I am usually met with nothing but admiration and awe.
You and your wife sound like a good team, I say have as many as you like and as you can support.
Don't mind people who say you can't give them all enough love and attention,when you love them it is very easy to find time,right?
There are 24hrs/day and seven days/week to work with.
Good job dad.....procreation is a wonderful thing.
Good luck with the new born.x

Answer 2

Too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers.......Mother Theresa

If you are financially able to care for all of your children, and you are able to meet the physical, spirititual, emotional and developmental needs of each child than it is for you and your wife.

What I see in big families is that the older children get forced into care giving roles and the younger ones aren't allowed to babies for long because before they're done being babies...mommy pops out another one. That is my only issue with it!

No matter how much you love your kids, there are only 24 hours in a day to be divided up......only so many pieces to pie...that's a concern to me and why I'd never have more than four.

With your family, all I can say is, is it possible that you rely on them too much, or do family gatherings become all about you and your family (mostly due to size).

Are you pulling your weight at family functions (bringing food, hosting, helping with the clean up) or are you too busy taking care of little ones?

Are you dumping your kids off on others?

If the answer to all those questions is no, then they should mind their own business.

My sister-in-law has four young ones and she manages just fine and does the extras!

Answer 3

I just believe that society has gotten away from the family and turned inwards to themselves. alot of people are so selfish and so they don't understand why someone would want that many children. We have 6 total in my family. i have 2 of my own and 4 step. We were thinking of having 1 together but decided against it, not because of having too many but because our youngest is 7 and we decided we wanted to be able to enjoy each other and travel in about 10 years since we never got the chance to be by ourselves when we first got together like a young couple w/no children. i do not disagree with large families. Congrats.

Answer 4

I don't think there is any thing wrong with having a big family.My boyfreind and me have been together for almost 3 years and we have an 11 month old daughter together and I am due in Feb. with a boy and my boyfreinds 3 sons live with us(ages6,4,3)Plus my boyfreind has 3 other kids with 2 other women.As long as you have room for more kids and are able to afford and provide for them then forget what other people say as long as you your wife and the kids are happy and provided for thats all that matters.

Answer 5

I dont think there is anything wrong with if you can financially supposrt them all. I have a couple of friends who come from large families though where the parents cannot financially support them, and that causes major issues. But if you can then there is no reason to say having lots of kids is bad.... good luck with the 6th!

Answer 6

I think big families are great. We are having our 4th in March. I asked this same question the other day because I was getting annoyed by certain questions I was reading about wanting more children , etc..and ignorant people were replying to these people saying ..dont you think you have enough already, etc... So I asked why are people saying this and they replied that the world is overpopulated, and polluted and welfare, etc..silly things. So I honestly dont understand why someone else judges people when they are perfectly capable of taking care of their children. Dont worry what your friends, and family think. As long as you are happy about it. Congratulations.

Answer 7

Good for you!!! CONGRATS on the baby on the way! We only have 3 children, if I could have handled another pregnancy and would have been more financially secure, I would have had more as well. My husband is from a family of 10. Who cares what others think, sounds like you take care of your kids and love them all!!!!!

Answer 8

Its a matter of how you look at it. Most people think you can only do well with a couple kids cause how do they get enough attention etc. but in our family (7 kids) there was always enough love, time, attention and my Dad "n Mom worked hard. There is always enough love to go around. Congrats on your new addition!!!! My guess is a boy( im good at that).

Answer 9

You know I have 3 natural children and 1 stepchild and people are constantly asking me..."why so many?" I think maybe it seems uncommon to most...but I am not asking for any help from anybody so why would it matter. I do a pretty good job of taking care of my kids...and they have plenty to eat and have good family structure. I try not to take it personally when people ask...because they don't know the same joy that I do.
I work in a grocery store and one clerk I work with is constantly asking me "why do you have so many children?" in front of our customers... I looked at her and said "because your husband REALLY likes me alot"
She hasn't asked me again.. I hate to have to defend my choice to have 3 kids...really its nobody's business.

By the way... congratulations!!!!

Answer 10

I come from a big family too and we are all very close. When times have gone bad for health or other reasons, what a blessing to have so much love and support. Don't worry about what others think.You and your wife and your children are fortunate that you have each other to love and to learn from and share with.