How often should a couple have s e x?

Question

my fiancee' and I disagree about how often we should be having sex. weve been together for 10yrs and have 2 kids (6 and 2) we both work full time. And to me its hard to make quality time t engage in love making, he will just want to do it anywhere at anytime, and i like the setting to be perfect.....I wouldnt mind doing it more often there just doesnt seem to be enoughh time. we have s e x on average 2-3 a month. and as all men he would like it 2-3 a day :) Plus he always expects me to initiate, but I feel like hes the one that wants it so often. he needs to initiate....?

Answer 1

Oh welcome to my world too!
I will give you the "law" the bible states every 7 days your must submit to your husband, except for the time of cycle.
So depending on the month its 3-5 times.

I know folks that do it Am and PM everyday. Like WOW- lucky them, what energy. I'm doing dishes at that time or putting kids to bed or crashed in the recliner with a half eaten dinner before he ever gets home from work. Then I must be a sexkitten too.

I plan it all out- even ones that appear to be "Spontanious" to him.
If he needs more then its not sex its stress relief, and that's okay too and a happy couple can do it however its best for them.

I get snuggle "sunday afternoon kinda love" once a month and he gets "sex" several times. So we both are happy and I can not worry about a compromise. I keep good records. LOL
He travels now and wants it the minute he gets off the plane and I'm like DUDE! So he scheduled a mid morning flight to arrive and we have planned a quick trip to the motel on the way home, so we can be home to get the kids from daycare and have some fun too.

I missed the "Fun" that was my problem. We had to start laughing more for me to get into the mood. I love him, just am old and tired these days. You know.

Good luck

Answer 2

I will be honest with you . . . there is no set time limit or amount limit on how often couples should have sex.

And everyone knows, the longer the relationship is, sex seems to dwindle.

You are correct, guys generally would like to have it several times a day, while women seem to have no problems putting it on the back burner.

But guys understand you are busy or not in the mood at times. But guys also want to be intimate, not necessarily sex (that is a bonus). And if you put him off, too many times he may get the feeling that you are getting bored in the relationship or that he doesn't excite you anymore. That is where it can get dangerous, especially for a relationship. Because when he begins to feel the lack of love (intimacy), he may look for it elsewhere. This is where you need communications . . . and real intimacy.

As for the amount of sex. . . average is about 1-2 times per week. As for intimate encounters, you need at least 7-10 times per week.

I may be confusing you, when I talk sex and intimate encounters . . . sex is sex. Intimate encounters, is cuddlings, groping, carressing, hugging, kissing, and a variety of activities.

Like when he is doing something around the house . . . walk up behind him, give him a hug and kiss the back of his neck or nuzzle his ear, maybe even a little reach around. It should stimulate him a little, but not enough to throw you on the couch and have his way.

Guys, you need to do the same thing . . . when your girl is doing the dishes, give her a hug and kiss her. Don't wait until she is ready, show her you really appreciate her.

As for initiating these moments, it should be shared . . . 50/50. But from the sound of it, he is a little timid, because many of his past approached has been turned away by rejection, so now he is awaiting you to initiate things. I know you are thinking, I am not rejecting him . . . when you tell him . . . that you are too busy, you have a headache, or your not in the mood . . . what he feels is rejection. What you need to be is . . . I don't know how to put it in words, but kind about it. But turn around and ask him to just hold you . . . turns it into an intimate moment . . . then after a couple of minutes give him a kiss and tell him that you love him.

Do you understand what I mean?

I miss my beloved, and I miss the times we have had together (and the time we should have had together - rest her soul). It wasn't always sex, but moments like these. Sometimes, sitting on the couch, watch tv in each others arms. With a little fondling of each other. And similar stuff like that.

Answer 3

Well, i guess the best thing would be to come up with a compromise. My boyfriend and i have sex everyday and sometimes a couple of times a day...but then there are other times when we wont have sex for a week. As far as the initiating thing goes...one of my past relationships really went downhill because i would never initiate...but i agree both people need to be initiators.

Answer 4

pricey attractive mama, do not face up to the urge to have sex inclusive of your major different, it is going to really carry you closer at the same time and encourage experience-reliable hormones. At 30 weeks gestational age i'd propose attempting positions except mitionary , doggie form and being on excellent works ideal. don't worry the little you may't "see" some thing.. I wouldnt propose having very problematic sex and , i'd propose staying off your back. even as it comes in course of your due date, like 36 weeks or so, i'd sluggish it down. Having sex on the great of being pregnant, fantastically your third being pregnant can set off exertions. So for the subsequent month or so, have relaxing! reliable good fortune, once you've further questions feel free to call a million-877-MY -DOULA

Answer 5

2-3 times is IMO not enough. I also feel the wife should initiate some. A guy would like to feel important and wanted just like a women does.

Answer 6

2 or 3 times a month? Is that what you said? Well, I dont think that's right. Maybe 3 times a day is too much, but at lesat twice a week, or 1, considering that you are busy people.

Answer 7

once or twice a week seems to be the average for a long term relationship. all i have to do to "initiate" is go to bed naked... sometimes thats all they need/or even mean when they say that. you have two kids, so maybe you shouldn't be so concerned about the setting being perfect, just be happy if you have an hour or two alone together and go with it.

Answer 8

The more sex you have a better relationship you'll have. Try to find the time. There has to be time. It's very important. Who initiates doesn't matter. Men love when one initiates sometimes, cause then they feel that we do like to have sex.

Answer 9

It`s up to both of you to keep it interesting. 2-3 a month sounds quite bad, any worse, and you`ll get divorce ;)

It`s always easy to make excuses why the other one should this or that, you`ll just have to try to think how it all sounds to him, and how would you like to be the one rejected..?

Answer 10

Once a week is reasonable, what he wants is unreasonable.