My Ten Year Old Sson LOST ???Anyone else experienced this. ???

Question

Due to a mix up and lack of communication my 10 year old son walked home from school to an empty house then went missing.

I came home from work and could not find him. I went to the school and they called the police who started a search.

My son turned up 1 hour later safe and well in a house down the street.

The Nan their had taken him in as she was worried about him and he had been playing with her grandson. ( They are friends and no each other and we are friends with the family )

She had a left a message on my answerphone but I was so distraught I didn't think to check it.

Has anyone else had a similar experience. I just want to share others thoughts as I'm in a terrible state even though he was returned home safe and well and wondering what all the fuss was about.

Serious answers only please as I have already beaten myself up more than anyone else possibly could.

Answer 1

Ho wHORIIBLE that must have been for you!! I am so sorry that it happened! A missing child is never a thing to take lightly. I can tell that you have been carrying this burden for long enough. I have not had anything like this happen, but here is what I have to say to you. You did nothing wrong. Your son.. did nothing wrong. It was a mix up. You are not prefect, and your son is not perfect. Your son was smart enough that he stayed around the neighborhood. He was smart.. because YOU taught him that. He did what YOU taught him. I feel like you are apologizing for being upset.. WHY? You had a HORRIBLE thing happen! You need to take your time with dealing with it. However, remember... It is over. He is fine. You are fine. Noone got hurt. My advice to you is this. Make a plan for days that this happens. My daughter and I have a "meet at the return desk" rule. If we are in a store, and we get lost, we go to to the return desk and wait. Make a plan with that nice neighbor. If this happens again, he can come there for a time untill you return home. Have a plan for a house fire, and a plan for a time that he is ever home alone and disaster strikes. Turn this "near miss" into something good, something that you both can learn from.God Bless you and your son!

Answer 2

Three of my children were playing in the garden when I called them in for dinner. The youngest was filthy so I sent her to the bathroom to wash up as I put the meal on the table. We all sat down except my second daughter, who was about 5 at the time. We searched the house, garden and street to no avail, she was no where to be found so we then called everyone one we knew in the neighbourhood. After five hours of 40 people searching a car pulled up at the house and out popped my daughter, you can imagine, we thought the worst. However, she was fine. She had been in a friend's house down the road all the time but we never checked there because it looked as if everyone was out. We didn't recognise the car she was in because the neighbour had only got it that day and only drove the child home because he wanted to show the new car off. I think that was when I started growing grey hairs (I was still in my 20's) and can very well imagine how you much have felt. Anyway, I'm glad for your sake that everything turned out OK with your son.

Answer 3

Well thank God. I know how frightening it can be something similar happened to me last week in the grocery store. I turned around to see my 3y/o and 5y/o had completely disappeared. I found them about twenty minutes later,they had tried to go back to the play area in the centre. My heart was in my mouth it was really terrifying, you really just blame yourself and panick.
For my older kids as someone else suggested I have an emergency plan. I do a school run with a friend so if they are ever home and I am not back they are told to wait at the door 30 minutes after that they can leave a note in the porch and call into a neighbour until I get back. This Christmas I am getting them a cell phone to share which I think is invaluable for your piece of my and theirs.
Don't worry it happens to us all. Thank God he is safe.

Answer 4

Horrible feeling isn't it ! my 4 year old son decided to hide under a rail of clothes in a shop in Cardiff, to say i panicked is a understatement! i looked every where up and down the shop fitting room, outside, the music was so loud, but i hollered above it! to find him emerging wondering what the fuss was about! i didn't know whether to cuddle him or kill him! took me ages to stop shaking and calm down, i can still remember the cold sweat and the way my heart was beating! The main thing is your little man is OK, he did what he thought was best, that is was the police are there for, help when things go wrong, it doesn't say any thing about the mum you are, but no amount of people telling that will help, try thinking about all the good things you do, and how much your son loves you, don't dwell on the could have beens, they didn't happen, it part of being a mum, full time worry and guilt! Is there a way you could always carry a moblie phone and he could learn the number? i can understand why he may not have one, but i no mine is always on.

Answer 5

Once was on the beach with a few friends and their children my four year old, David went missing. My four children and two of my friends children wanted to walk about the 1/2 or so to the seas edge. I went with them to make sure none of them got lost as some where under five years old. They ran ahead and when I got to the sea the my friend's youngest son, Tim ran back up the beach crying. He wouldn't come back when I called so I asked the the oldest child (Josh 13) to watch David while I made sure Tim got back to is mum okay. When I got back to where I had left David he had vanished. Josh said, "David wanted you so I let him go."
David was missing for 1/2 an hour and I was frantic searching up and down the beach for him. I eventually found him in the care of a lady who was looking for his mum.

I felt awful, especially as his Dad didn't seem bothered and said, "He'll be okay" and didn't go looking for him.

Another friend and his wife were out shopping. They both looked in a shop windown for less than a minute then realised their son, Sam was missing. He had been standing right beside them. They went to the police and he was later returned to them by a bus company - The lad had stepped onto a bus as they looked in the window and the bus left with him on board.

An after-thought: The shopping centre near to where I live has an excellant scheme. They supply wristbands for small children which you write your mobile number on that that on then so you can be called if you get separated. I think it's a good idea with little ones.

Answer 6

This is any Mother or Father's worst nightmare, encouraged and exacerbated by media panic. My kids are now in their twenties and the worries continue in a different way, but the occasional temporary "disappearance" when they were younger were awful. I think my longest was about 20 minutes and I went from calm rational professional person to screaming banshee in 30 seconds flat including barging into a mens toilet yelling accusations. Hmmm. You must have ground rules perhaps like no-one ever just goes off without leaving a note - this rule for me continued until my boys left home, even as 20 year olds I appreciated coming in to a note saying they had gone out and wouldn't be back for supper, etc. Poor you. Don't have nighttmares. Have a little gin and tonic. There isn't t a Parent on the planet who isn't right there with you.

Answer 7

Here in September there was an 8 year old boy who wandered off the play ground at school. They found him 4 hours latter on a paddle boat in the pond (safe).
A 3 year old left his preschool and crossed a 4 lane street before being picked up by a concerned woman.
A 5 year old darted out the school, she decided she was also ready to leave.
There is not enough supervision, teachers need aids and better kid counting skills.

Answer 8

My son was playing ride and seek outside with me and my ex when he was just 5. We were just hiding behind trees. My son saw a jogger and thought it was my ex so he started to run after the man. Over a mile later and several busy roads he realised that he was lost and alone. By this point I was going spare, I searched the area and called the Police.

Some students who were driving along saw my son by the roadside they picked up my son and took him back to our flat (bless him he knew the address) an elderly neighbour turned them away despite telling her that he had been found wandering alone! They took him to the local Police station so all was well.

These things happen, kids will wander off, messages get missed and luckily most of time everything is OK.
I felt very shaky after what had happened to my son for a few days. It will pass!

Take care x

Answer 9

Glad I am not the only one!!! Similar happened to me and my son. I still have nightmares about what could have happened. I think these are made worse because I work with kids that have been abused and have a real insight. We now have a plan in place that if he arrives home and no one is in he is to go to a relative who lives very close who is always at home. I've found having a plan in case of emergencies is reassuring for me.
As your son - mine could not understand the fuss and laughs even now when I remind him of our arrangements. I'm glad for that - I was scared enough for both of us. It's trying to balance making sure he has an awareness of danger and allowing him to have a childhood.
I am so glad that both our sons were safe and well.

Answer 10

I don't think you should beat yourself up for being terrified. I think any parent would have been.

Set up a "what if" set of rules. "What if I come home from school and no one is there." Make a call, and leave a note on the door.
Devise all sorts of scenarios and write down what the plan of action is. "What if I wake up and smell smoke?" Don't open your door, call emergency(if there is a phone in the room), and climb out the window(safety ladder on upper floors). If no phone, run to neighbor and call for help. Arraigned with neighbor to be safe house.

You get the idea, be prepared and prepare your kids.