I have been with my man for almost 6 years, we have been living together for almost 5 years, He seems to be very commited to me and my family, but he has not ask me to marry him. how long do i wait, or do i just be happy with what i have , and not worry about any more. thanks sweetpea527
2006-11-14 08:09:25 · 16 answers · asked by sweetpea527 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's 2006. Ask him.
2006-11-14 08:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
The better question is why didn't you both discuss your ideas of marriage early in the relationship. Then you would know for certain if he wanted to get married in the first place. One reason he may not have asked you is because of the stability of both you and him. If you are both two independent people who by themselves have a stable house, job, and car, then the situation is ripe for marriage because you both have a foundation in which a marriage can be built. Second, if you have discussed your ideals and you want to marry him then it should be you asking him to marry you as oppose to him asking you. Yes i know tradition has it that the man is supposed to ask, but the reality is you want to be married and therefore you should ask him to marry you because it is what YOU want. However, assuming you haven't discussed your ideas on marriage, you should talk to him about his/your ideas on marriage first. If he is pro marriage then wait briefly, (anywhere from a week to a month) and if his behavior is still the same but he has not asked you then you ask him to marry you. I say wait a week to a month because he just might ask you to marry him. Remember, look at the stability of each other. While he may be committed to you it doesn't mean he (or even you for that matter) can handle his own.
2006-11-14 08:31:27 · answer #2 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to yourself to find a man who will committ. If a man isnt inspired in 2 or 3 years he will never just get hit by a lightning bolt and suddenly have a mad desire to marry you. If he does it'll just be settling for the status quo because its easier than starting over. Its tough but if you're looking for marriage 2-3 years is more than enough to know if theyre the one. Anything more than that and it suggests that its not the one.
2006-11-14 08:11:44 · answer #3 · answered by radiancia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya gotta ask yourself... do I want to be married more than I want to be with this guy? If marriage is that important to you (for whatever moral, religious, or personal reasons) and he doesn't seem like he wants to go there, then it might be time to move on. But I suspect that you have an excellent relationship and wouldn't trade him for anything... so relax, be happy, and enjoy what you do have!! A man that loves you, is committed, doesn't cheat, and will do just about anything for you... except sign a piece of paper that says you are married.... whoohoo!!!
2006-11-14 08:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, 6 years!
Basically, by not bringing it up before, you've essentially permitted him to maintain the current status of your relationship. You all may be committed, but since there's no marriage, there's still an easy way out for either one of you. Maybe he's fearful of something. Talk about it, but chances are, you may have to be satisfied with how it is now.
2006-11-14 08:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by mrbadmood 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you live in Seattle? If so, I may know you. Well, probably not the same person. Anyway, you should have a sitdown conversation about marriage. Make sure he knows it's a serious conversation you want to have. That is, if you're absolutely serious about it.
2006-11-14 08:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could ask him........there is nothing wrong with that.......Maybe he is afraid its you that doesn't want to get married........or even try talking about marriage and see what his reaction is.....Let him know that its better for you both for many reasons.....tax purposes.....insurance.....its also comforting for a woman to know she is being taken care of......I know..I'm gonna hear it for that one....but....my husband wanted to make sure I would be ok if anything happened to him...we were together for 4 years before he asked me...and we discussed it first.....Good Luck !!!!!
2006-11-14 08:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already allowed him to become comfortable in the situation. If being legally married is what you had truly desired you should have demanded that early on instead of becoming his 6 year domestic goddess. Oh well- I hope it works out.
2006-11-14 08:19:06 · answer #8 · answered by witchway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wanted to get married, you shouldn't have moved in together. Now he has no motivation to get married. Just talk to him about marriage and see how he feels.
2006-11-14 08:12:43 · answer #9 · answered by Racewalking Invicta Swami 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Try to find out how he feels about marraige. If he is all for it, I am afraid that he is keeping his options open. If he is against marraige, he might be as committed as you suspect. If the latter is the case, you should tell him that marraige is important to you. Make certain that he understands exactly how much it means to you. If he really wants to be with you, he will see your point, and take the next step. Good luck!
2006-11-14 08:14:48 · answer #10 · answered by krisi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋