"He's not invited "?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now, in the beginning there was a incident that went badly ( badly but not unforgivable, poor judgement camping and meeting new people - more drinking then should have occurred ) and some of my family and friends now don't care for him.....lets be real don't like him at all!
My sister is getting married in April of 07 and she just informed me that her future husband has said my boyfriend is not welcome at her wedding !! * GASP *
I am the maid of honor and my boyfriend is the one that measured me for my dress and we talked about how fun it was going to be to get dressed up together and do the wedding thing and get our pictures taken and how great the place they are getting married is, and how fun its going to be!

How am I suppose to tell him hes not allowed to be there now??
Am I being selfish here, after all its not my wedding !!

Answer 1

Fact of life is your right. It's not your wedding as as such you should respect the wishes of your sister and not bring your current boyfriend as an escort. Booze makes us do things that will come back and bite us in the *** and that's proven itself over and again in many peoples life's. Do not disrupt your sister's wedding by ignoring her request and try to make it for her the happiest day in her life and not pout because he's not allowed. Family will be there for you forever, boyfriends may not.

Answer 2

Hello... this is your sisters wedding. Both you and your BF should honor her wishes and make it a very special day for her. Perhaps they will be more readily able to forgive and forget his past if he plays this one cool.....
Keep in mind that the relationship you have with your siblings will be the longest relationships you have in your life time.
Simply set him down and tell him point blank that there are still some hard feelings and that your family would appreciate him declining to attend. Perhaps a few weeks after the wedding your family can sit down with him and try to give him another chance if he means that much to you. However, I gotta say If it were my wedding I would have to side with your sister I would not want ANYONE in attendance that might cause a scene or show ther *ss!

Answer 3

Either way you go this will cause problems. It would help to know what he did that was so terrible. What it boils down to is this.

Your sister will get married only once (hopefully).

How many boyfriends have you had?

Do the math and make him realize that things in his past may need more time to heal over before he is welcome in family situations.

IF your bf is really understanding then he will abide by their wishes, realize his mistake and what it has cost the two of you and accept it.

IF he gives you flak about it such as.. well then you shouldnt go either.. dump his drunk *ss.

This will be a real test of his love for you and yours for him.

ONE thing comes to mind. Why is he waitting for someones wedding to get all dressed up to take you out?

Answer 4

You are not selfish at all.

This is difficult.

The relationship with your Family and your sister is very Impotent.

This will be her Very Special Day in April, perhaps a once in a Life time event.

So, you must put your personal feelings aside and abide by your Family's wishes.

Explain to your Bf that this is Your Sisters wedding and there can not be any tension what so ever. If your Bf understands that his presence at the wedding will cause tension, he will abide by the family's decision.

We all make mistakes in our lives. But, we must address any consequences of our actions.


The simple answer is: Your Bf can not attend the wedding.

Of course you want your BF to be at the wedding. But, this will not happen. This is your sisters wedding.

Hope that all works out for you and your Boy Friend........ Billy

Answer 5

I understand completely the situation you are in. My mother hates my fiance. Absolutely despises him, along with some other friends and family. I havent been to a family thing in which I was invited and he wasnt, but I have had my own family parties and I made it very aware that he would be there and some showed regardless, and some did not.

If I were in your situation, only because you are the maid of honor and I assume have put money into the wedding and it is your sister, I would have a heart to heart with your sister. Tell her that although she may not like him, you do. And as your sister, she should support you in your choices and yadda yadda. Tell her that you feel like you are trapped in the middle and that you would not feel right going without him.

HOWEVER, if taking your boyfriend is going to get him in any kind of trouble (like if they dont like him so much, they would argue or fight with him) it would be best to skip it.



EDIT -- I tried emailing you back but it said your email was unconfirmed so it wouldnt go through.

Answer 6

Your right..its not your wedding...and your sister will never forgive you if you do something on her day......It's only one day....and you and your boyfriend have all the other days of the year to do things. Maybe instead of him being upset for not being able to go..he can be ready when you get home from the wedding and you two can go out...all dressed up together. Just be honest with him...and let him know...then in time they will come around..but right now...they feel this way....and its because they love you that they do......Just don't let it become a big deal.....Good Luck !!!!!

Answer 7

I can see where you'd be a little angry about him not being able to attend the wedding with you...I was in a similar situation with my cousin's wedding. I had been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and, because we weren't married, I was told not to bring him. My cousin and his fiance didn't want to spend the extra money for single people to bring dates, so they stressed the "no dates" part. Well, I told my parents that I wasn't going to the wedding if I couldn't bring my boyfriend...my father said that he wouldn't go if I didn't go and my mother and grandmother agreed. My cousin finally agreed to let my boyfriend come because of my chain of events...

Your situation is a little bit different though because your boyfriend wronged you big time!! You have also not been seeing him for very long at all. The family will come around eventually, but don't push the wedding situation. Give them time...go by yourself and have as much as can be expected.

Answer 8

You have to respect the bride's and groom's wishes. They have been very clear about him being uninvited.

Of course that he is going to feel offended, but let be real, family is family and they will always be there for you,. so NOT going to the wedding is not an option, besides, you are the MOH!

Inform you biyfriend that the bride has elected a family wedding and that due to limited space, they were unable to accomodate him. Tell him that you will make it up to him by spending a special day with him somewhere else. Tell him since it's not your party you cannot do anything about it.

Best of luck

Answer 9

No matter what the history - when it comes to weddings, the only the guest list, you are only required to include partners if they are married or engaged - though you would generally also include them if they are living together.

Now in this situation, it is a bit selfish for your sister not to invite him simply because she doesn't like him. If there isn't room, that is one thing - but if it is just because she doesn.t like him, that is childish, and shows a lack of respect for your relationship. That lack of respect may be justified, I don't know the whole story.

Anyway, it is your sisters wedding, and while she may nto be right, you still need to respect her wishes - someone has to take the mature road.

Answer 10

You are in a very hard situation. But there is a solution for everything. Talk to your sister about the way you feel and try to compromise so that you don't ruin her wedding. Now like someone answer If its OK with your family take him there but if there is a chance of a fight don't take him. Sorry and good Luck.