My man had sex with some other girl..!! Why??

Question

First of all he's 27 & she's 18 what does she have over me or was it out of pity he supposed to be her mentor he tells me it was an accident and that she made the first move and it's the first time it has happened.... should i believe him

Answer 1

i don't know all the specifics but situations like this are never easy. you have to options.
1. you can leave him and you will have the right to remarry. Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
this goes for guys also.

2. you can stay and try to work it out which can be very, very hard. i don't know you and i don't know him but i do know that a person can make under certain circumstances in certain situations a mistake that will bring him regret and sorrow for the rest of his days because he hurts those he loves. that one mistake does not mean he stopped loving you. i don't know if he told you or you caught him or what, but if he really loves you he will stay away from her do whatever it takes to keep you.
you did nothing wrong he was just caught up in the moment that some one as young as she would take notice of him and he faltered.

i wish you the best whatever you do.

Answer 2

You have to accept that you'll never know why he cheated or how many times unless you get the truth from him. And clearly he's not an honest man because 1. he cheated and 2. he's trying to feed you bulls--t lines like "out of pity" and "she made the first move." Even if she did make the first move--doubtful--he was giving her the signals telling her that it was ok to move in on him.

You need to start asking questions that you can answer like: what is MY next move? Can I ever believe he is good enough for me now? After this, can I ever be 100% sure that I can't do better than him? (no!) Can I forgive and forget? Sounds like you are focusing on him too much when really you are in charge of you.

I think you'll find either now or a year from now that you deserve better. Men don't cheat on women they think of as "the one." So you may really love him, bu you have to end it because he messed up. He put himself in the situation, and he didn't stop it when it escalated to the ultimate betrayal. This is what dating is for--figuring out someone's character. Now that you know he has huge character flaws: selfishness, dishonesty, betrayal--why would you stay? Don't let your fears and insecurities keep you from doing the right thing: get out. Take it from me, six months from now, you'll have a great new man and this will seem like it happened years ago.

Sorry for your pain.

Answer 3

No, don't believe him. It wasn't an accident, regardless of who made the first move. She has nothing over you, other than maybe she's 18 and for some sick reason many men get a real ego trip by being with young "girls." It will happen again and I don't see how you'll be able to gain the trust back, especially with his lame excuse. I'm sorry for your pain. Good luck.

Answer 4

Regardless of whether or not you believe him the fact that he was acting as a mentor and took advantage of this young girl in itself talks volumes about his morals, ethics etc. If you are satisfied with his explanation then fine. But if your self esteem is higher than a little schoolgirl then give him the boot and move on to someone more loyal and with better believes in helping others. In addition to that he is 27 and should have been able to say to this young 18 year that it was wrong, he has a girlfriend that he is loyal to and that she is confused enough without him adding more confusion to her live by getting friendly in the biblical sense with her.

Answer 5

Men are just stupid!! I wouldn't believe him. Was it at a time when you guys were fighting? If so, then that could be your answer, if not then you may want to re-examine your relationship. If he dosen't respect you enough to stay faithful to you then you don't need him. If you let him get away with it then he'll try it again. He may be just testing the boundaries to see just how far he can go and still get away with it. Personally, I would leave him. I don't know the history between you two and if you really care for him and truly love him and honestly don't think it will happen again and you think you can trust him, then I say stay and try to work it out. Definately do NOT let those two see each other again. Good Luck

Answer 6

First of all, I hope she is 18 or otherwise it could be statutory rape. All I would be concerned about if he had safe and protected sex with this 18 yr old. You do not want to be dealing with a man who is having unprotected sex. You can catch anything from him-AID and other STDS. He is apparently thing with the small head instead of using the brain God gave him. I would dump him and move over to greener pastures.

Answer 7

Sleeping with an 18 yr old isn't out of pity..He just wanted some young a ss.


I think it's time to leave him.

Answer 8

That guy is no good. Dump his azz! And since he is older, he should've been the resistor and the voice of reason in the situation. So yeah believe him. But stuff like that is'nt an accident. In my opinion.

Answer 9

Why ask why? He cheated, doesn't matter if she stripped naked and jumped him, no excuses! This is what I'd say "yeah first and LAST time-Good bye!" Give the loser his walking papers and now he is free to make all the "mistakes" he wants. Find another bf this one is a boy not a man!

Answer 10

in a way yea but in a way no. you have to look at both sides. try to get some info outta her and then go back to him to get some more info and if both sides don't sound right then you be the bigger person and get rid of him. Becuz obviously its happened mre than one time. Listen to thsi advice neva trust your man around an attractive female!