Brother-in-law trouble...?

Question

My BIL is a pompous ***. He even admits it. He acts really friendly to my face, and in from of his mom and my husband, but when he IM's me, he's rude, arrogant, and calls me a lazy whore. I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant, and recently left my job. I keep the house clean, cook supper, do grocery shopping for a family of 5, help my mom out at her house, and have a four year old daughter and a husband. He thinks that he's better than everyone else, and his mom just adores him.
How can I get her to see that her precious son is a serious problem for me? If I say anything, she just goes, "Oh, that's "Nick" for you." I am pregnant and DO NOT need this stress.

The reason I do not show my husband the IM's is because they hate each other already. They can't be in the same room for more than two minutes. And I can't block the IM's because this is a family computer, and he IM's his mom on it. Yes, we live with his mom, but the arrangement works for all of us, except the BIL. He actually old me he's jealous of my 4 year old's relationship with his mom! But thanks for all the advice, anyway.

Answer 1

Well, trying to tell his family that you have a problem sometimes may be a lost cause. Why don't you have a serious talk with your husband.....

More importantly, I would distance myself from your BIL. And, don't let him IM you and you don't IM him either.

Answer 2

Sorry that he is causing you so much stress! I think in your situation since you are a couple of families combined under one roof- the best bet is going to be to sit down, all of you together, and have a meeting. Make sure your husband will back you up and explain to your BIL in frony of your MIL how he is making you feel and how much stress he is putting on you while you are pregnant. Bring up for instances of his behavior, and ask him to explain without name calling or profanities why he treats you this way and how you guys can work out a way for you to get along and be respectful towards each other. Also, your husband is going to need to be calm for you, even if he does not want to be in the same room for 2 minutes, he needs to eliminate some of your stress which means somehow becoming a buffer for you and his brother. I think in families, growth comes from honesty and sometimes confrontation and discussion. Try not to let anyone get defensive, just keep in mind the goal- eliminating stress and getting along. Best to do it now so that it is history and your children do not pick up on any of this bad treatment. Good luck and rest as much as you can!

Answer 3

I have had such experience with a son who's mother thinks he is an angel when he is the devil himself. Take it from me, you will never convince her that anything is wrong with her precious child. My advice to you is, ignore his messages, and perhaps tell your husband what his brother is doing. I don't think he would be too happy about this. To get along in the future, as a family, there has to be understanding, respect, and some sort of love. You and he need to have a long discussion and work this out. This will be no good for a new child, or your relationship with your husband or in-laws. I know how hard this can be. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Is this your husband's brother? If so, you could talk to him and see if he would intervene on your behalf. I would think that your husband should be stepping up and telling him to lay off. Have you shown your husband what he IM's you or emails you? Save a copy of what he's writing to you and let your husband have a look. Worst case scenario: drop him off of your IM list and don't even read his emails, don't expose yourself to him unless someone else is around to witness it. My MIL is my biggest problem and I had to cut all ties with her: we don't speak at all anymore. Good luck!

Answer 5

i'm so sorry your feeling that way. it particularly is thoroughly frequent to sense jealous once you ought to or sense such as you ought to, compete for interest out of your husband. you ought to be the concern in his existence. With that being reported, you ought to have a sit down verbal substitute with him. Be honest, greater approximately the way it makes you sense fairly then beat him up approximately it. If the 30 years he has spent with you skill what it may mean, then he will reevaluate what is going on and with a bit of luck make some differences in his existence that make you sense greater guard on your marriage, respected and enjoyed. good success!

Answer 6

create ur own IM screenname and don't tell him/block him

OR

continue using the screenname, but put urself in "hide" mode...then before u sign out, put it back so later ur mother or whoever can get on and talk to him

OR

don't answer the im's, just close them so u don't see them. as u said, u don't need the added stress

if i were u, i would print out the im's and show them to the MOTHER and cry, and say it really stresses u out and hurts ur feelings w/ the baby, so she can tell him to get a life. good luck~

Answer 7

I think you should talk to your husband first, show him the AIM's, you also can save or print the conversations. Tell your husband that he is being rude and you are pregnant and dont need this crap right now. I think your husband should be the one to talk to her.

Answer 8

Block him from Iming you. Show your husband what he says and let it go. No need to show his mom as she probably already knows this, but as mothers do, we try to overlook these things about our kids, as bad as they can be. Don't stress yourself over him, he's not worth it.

Answer 9

Why do you care so much what your BIL thinks? If he is an idiot - so be it- ignore him. What I don't understand is why your husband lets this go on.

Answer 10

Print out a copy of the things he types when he im's you then show it her.