We were happy together one evening kissing & all then out of the blues he told me he had sex with another girl about four weeks ago. Why the HELL .... I mean how am i supposed to deal with this I love Him he treats me good.. I wish he hadn't told me at least i wouldn't be crying now, at least i would still be able to eat.. I dont know where to go from here I still want to be with him but can I trust him again.. (to make things worse he had sex with her in the same bed he makes love to me)
2006-11-14 07:32:05 · 13 answers · asked by terrybogle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why did he have to tell you??? He must have that "gene" ie some people have a bit on the side to feed their ego and some people get off on that adrenalin rush when you are with someone new. Ask him "why" and take it from there. Dont chuck in the towel just yet or he will go running into that b*tches arms who he cheated with. Leave it a while, cry and talk it out and then decide but you sound way too good for him and he will regret it one day.
2006-11-14 07:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by D F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's horrible that he cheated and to come clean was noted but why so long in telling you. It's better that you know now than to find out years later or several girls later but it doesn't change the fact he broke the trust and your heart.
You can try and work things out but it's a long hard road and you have to decide whether or not it's worth it. Trust is a huge issue and will never be the same once it's broken no matter how hard you try and how much time passes you by. Talk it out with him and ask all the questions you need answered about why he did it, did you do something to make it easier for him to do it,anything that you can think of. Tell him how it made you feel and how unsure you are about the future with him. Then tell him that the trust is gone and he has to build it back up and you will try and help him along but will not tolerate anymore flings. When the time comes and you can forgive him tell him so and don't bring it up again or use it against him, ever.
If you were married and had kids, I'd tell you to work things out before leaving but since your only dating I'd advise you find someone else. Life is too short to be miserable and unhappy and without trust, it makes it all that much harder to have a great relationship.
2006-11-14 08:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is clear that you are sick over your boyfriends infadelity, and you have the right to be. You see my dear men dont seem to value there bodies or think the same about sex as us women. Unless you are just a whore, most of us women, once they decide to give themselves to a man we seem to get all emotionally involved. Where unless the man is truely in love, he may feel as though she is just another knoch on his belt.
No one can say why your boyfriend cheated (but him), but there is that saying that the only thing better than good sex is new sex. Not to say your weren't satisfying your man, but perhaps he was just greedy, one is just not enough for him. I hate to say it maybe he doesnt know what love is (Most people dont realize that they had a good thing until they've F6(ked it up and , the other party is gone).I'm not saying he doesn't think he loves you, just because he cheated. However he merely just doesnt respect the relationship as you do. I do hope he used protection at lease and respected your body,
I can't tell you where to go from here the fact is people cheat men & women. Sometimes the relationship can be savaged and sometimes it can't. There's no need to cry over spilt milk. If its that heart renching to you, and you feel as though you can't trust his cheating AZZ no more than kick him to the curb girlfriend plain & simple. On the other hand, if you feel as though you just can't live with out him them forgive him and move on,(sometimes we stupidly do, or feel we can change a man, or should give the relationship another chance) talk to him about how it made you feel, and get a firm reason why he did it, ask him how he can assure you that it was a one time incident (we all make mistakes, even us women) do what ever is necessary to salvage your relation (even if that means doing untraditional things in bed or being open to new adventures that is satisfying to him so he doesnt feel he needs to go outside the relationship, you never know you might like it) You both need to be giving 100%. If he cant give you 100% then you dont need him now do you? Dont starve yourself over some man by all mean eat matter fact make him take you out to eat while you talk.
Remember trust, respect, and communication is the key to a good relationship and the foundation to a real friendship. If your relationship is founded on the mattresses then all you have to keep you together is sex is that what you want from your "soul mate?" I dont think he respected you by sleeping with the HO in the same bed he sleeps with you in I'd first request a new mattress and a Drs note saying he's STD free, before I open my legs to him agian (I'd bed hed think twice about cheating after those request) But the choice is yours alone. If you can handle his infadelity then stay in the relationship and just move on from here. If not, Bounce like a kangaroo right out his life, Im sure God has someone else for you that appreciates you, & respects you & your body, and that you can trust.
I suggest no matter what you decide that you first start loving yourself (by not neglecting your peace of mind, and body) first that way you can love others better and you wont have to depend on anyone else to make you happy especially a man. I hope you make the right decision for you and only you know what that decision is, the hard part is making it!
2006-11-14 08:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all-it has nothing to do with you. Basically, he just met someone he was attracted to and wanted to have a one night stand with. That only means that he isn't ready to just have an one on one relationship. So, unless you are ready for this to happen again, you need to end it. Better to feel sad for a little while than to feel sad each and every time he cheats. Some men think the grass is greener on the other side. When, really, all they have to do is to love and take care of the pasture they are already in.
Once trust is broken, it's hard to get back. You will find yourself checking on him-going through his things-cell phone and so forth. Why would you want to have to deal with that???
Also, this will affect how you react to him-when he looks at another girl-your mind will be flooded with jealousy-and wonder...
Do yourself a favor and save anymore heartache.
Wow-if this is treating you good-wonder what he would be doing to treat you badly.???
2006-11-14 07:42:57 · answer #4 · answered by Hestia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People don't need a reason to cheat. Their egos say enough for them and their attitudes of "because I can." Its hateful I know. I am sorry he did this to you. Its not so rare. People are cheating on each-other more and more everyday. Its quite sad and unsafe. It makes me wonder if when my little girl grows up if marriage and loyalty will be totally a 'thing of the past'. I hope you get over him and move on. He may treat you real good, but he wasn't 4 weeks ago when he cheated on you with another woman in the same bed as you and him. If anything, he made a mockery and a foolish sceptically out of you. I hope you leave him and move on. He is no good for you or anyone else. I am really sorry. Blessed be........
2006-11-14 07:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oxygen cannot supply both heads at the same time on a male, so when he cheats, he's not thinking w/the big head. Honey, he treated you bad, and you deserve better. Kick him to the curb and find one that will adore you and only you. It took me a few times, but I finally found the one that was cheated on, so he knows the pain...........and he's propably the one in a million that wouldn't cheat. Good luck finding yours.
2006-11-14 07:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by FireBug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be greatful that he told you, most guys dont have the nuts to tell you, they will even lie when confronted. thats a sign for you to move on, and its a lesson to learn from. i know you are sick and unable to eat now, but in the long run, you will feel better. dont go out right away to find someone to take the pain away, just nuture yourself to get better. everyone has gone through this before atleast once so you are not alone.
2006-11-14 08:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two kinds of guys in this world: men and males. A man takes care of friends and lovers and will suffer himself to spare them any pain. A male is like a stallion or a tom cat: still psychologically an animal. What you have there is a male; you need to dump him because you deserve a MAN.
2006-11-14 07:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by Gallifrey's Gone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break this off because if he really was treating you good he wouldn't have cheated. He obivously wasn't happy about something and you shouldn't waste time on him.
2006-11-14 07:44:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why ask he did it now move one, its not your fault learn to love yourself and let this situation go. Cry and then snap out of it go out iwth the girls and cut off communication with him spend sometime with your family and friends
2006-11-14 07:40:49 · answer #10 · answered by Fruitful1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋