I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule:
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. However, I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
2006-11-14 07:30:32 · 10 answers · asked by writer_girl20 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Those are pretty good but hows this:
Do vampires get AIDS?
Poli means many and ticks are blood-sucking creatures so politics are many blood-sucking creatures
There used to be a law that said that people who got charged with attempted suicide could get the death penalty.
2006-11-14 07:43:50 · answer #1 · answered by mnymn177 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
3 desires: a million. shoes that in good structure. I *might want to* get by for a lengthy time period longer residing in slippers as i have been for 2 years, yet that limits me significantly. I stay in PA, iciness procedures, and one can't flow about in slippers even as there is snow on the floor. that is all solid-- I have an appointment on the prompt with a company that makes orthopedic shoes (in appealing kinds, even!) and prosthetics. they'll solid my feet and craft me some shoes. i am going to have 'em in a pair weeks. :) 2. For a particular deadbeat dad to commence paying help, or to a minimum of telephone me and say *why* he's not paying. He owns(ed) his personal employer so there aren't any wages to connect ... perhaps with the monetary device he's in a real bind ... i'm know-how about issues, so if that is the issue, he desires to inform me. 3. i favor to get out of the residing house extra many times. Being residing house for all time is driving me loopy. once my mom's decrease back on her feet i'm having my knee surgical procedures. with somewhat of luck, by the time next summer season rolls round i'd be completely recovered and walking unaided. 3 needs: a million. For my 17 three hundred and sixty 5 days-previous to be time-honored on the faculty he's were given his heart set on. all of us recognize the soreness of desires shattered, and he's so youthful ... 2. A automobile. i have by no potential owned one, yet once my incapacity is going by, i'm figuring out to purchase. not something fancy, only a collection of wheels. i do not force, yet my youngster does ... :) it will be valuable to not ought to save borrowing. 3. For my childrens to be at liberty, healthful, powerful in all they do, to locate genuine love, marry, develop a kinfolk ... (((((((((((Wayne)))))))))))
2016-11-29 03:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by duperne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it lol especialy :
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
2006-11-14 07:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by kez_124 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good ones there
2006-11-14 07:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Beth B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wanna c a forklift lift a crate of forks....it would be so damn litteral! lol
2006-11-14 07:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
those are some things to ponder aint they... **** the world is so hypocritical!
2006-11-14 07:43:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a woman is a real blonde and only dumb, then is she still considered a real dumb blonde?
2006-11-14 07:36:15 · answer #7 · answered by TechnoRat60 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are good !!! I have to print it --- with Your allowance !??
Aaron...
2006-11-14 07:43:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LMAO.... it's sooo funny... I loved them.... you're funny... LoLoLoL...
2006-11-14 07:36:38 · answer #9 · answered by ILuvMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good One!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-14 07:32:56 · answer #10 · answered by jeff g 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋