I always knew my boyfriend has watched porn, but I didn't realize how frequently until recently. He gets really upset and defensive when I try to talk to him, and tell him how porn makes me feel bad and weird, and so its kind of a closed door issue because we just end up in a stalemate argument. He claims 95% of guys watch a lot of porn. Is this really true? Are all men into porn? I just don't get it because I try really hard to please my boyfriend sexually, and we see each other really frequently so its not like he's not getting enough in real life! I just feel like I'm not enough for him or something. Isn't it normal for me to feel this way? I feel wary because even though he's admitted he watches often, its not like I know when or what...it just all feels so secretive and icky. I can't help but wonder if he's into kinkier things and he doesn't want to tell me, or if he's fantasizing about other things while were having sex. When I question those things aloud he gets real
2006-11-14
07:14:08
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33 answers
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asked by
neverneverland
4
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
upset and offended and says I'm making assumptions out of nowhere and being crazy. AM I being crazy? I'd really like to know...honest responses from men and women. Its not like I'm opposed to him watching porn, but something just doesn't feel right, and maybe its my own insecurities, but I guess I'm just a little disturbed by the whole thing. Thanks for any insights.
2006-11-14
07:16:02 ·
update #1
By the way, I'm not suspecting his addicted or something, or trying to say he's a bad or wrong person for watching it. It just makes me uncomfortable.
2006-11-14
07:22:19 ·
update #2
Pornography is like cigarrettes: it's addictive, it's poisonous, and people who make it and use it like to act like it's no big deal.
All men do NOT watch porn on a regular basis. There are some men who watch it all the time, some men who watch it once in a while or perhaps watched a few when they were younger, and men who don't watch it at all. I can't tell you which category your boyfriend falls in.
Sign to watch out for: he keeps a bottle of lube near the computer, by the TV, or any other place that is so blatantly obvious to anyone who walks in the room.
If your boyfriend just REFUSES to talk to you about this, then you may try couples counseling or individual counseling. In the meantime, try to decide if his porn-watching is a deal-breaker for you, or if you are willing to be okay with it. If he's dismissing your feelings completely and just not listening to you anymore, it may be time to get out of an unhealthy situation.
2006-11-14 07:36:43
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answer #1
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answered by nosleepthree 4
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Some do some don't. Some women watch too. Sometimes it can be a perverted addiction but sometimes it's all innocent. It doesn't usually mean anything. It's probably all innocent. Just a natural curiosity. Men are naturally infatuated with the female body. But if you find that's ALL he does with his time there might be a problem. Nothing to get angry about. Just a thing guys do (and women too). Maybe he is into kinkier things. Maybe you could talk to him. Maybe you'll both discover something new.
2006-11-14 07:26:15
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answer #2
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answered by sxyalmond 2
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I think your boyfriend is pretty close on how many men watch porn. I would think that even the most spiritual influenced male would sneak a peak at some level of porn although they probably would never admit it. Afterall, what do you consider porn? the hard core John Holms or what you might catch on late night cable TV?
I wouldn't worry about him watching porn. Maybe he can learn something from it and bring it into the bedroom with you. I've read that many couples have sex in the same boring position every time and never explore. Porn can help bring out ideas and help sexual excitement. Why don't you try watching with him?
Maybe you should get your own copy of porn and watch it by yourself? You just might be surprised how turned on you get. If the standard Guy-Gal porn doesn't do anything for you, maybe try Lesbian. You don't have to be one to enjoy watching.
Whats the big fuss about ..... What is it that the shoe maker "Nike" says? .........Just do it!
2006-11-14 07:29:26
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answer #3
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answered by Bob 5
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most men watch porn - correct
on a regular basis - subjective....each man has a different definition of regular basis. Too each individual, regular basis is usually one step above where they are but in reality its two steps below their viewing habits.
Those that admit to watching porn regularly can be referred to as addicts.
2006-11-14 07:17:41
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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no, its not true that most men watch porn on a regular basis, but it is probably true that 95% of the men out there like watching it, have watched it, and wouldnt run away from watching it, and probably many go to strip clubs too. I have a gf, I dont go out and get porn, nor do i go to strip clubs ,she has never said that it would bother her, who knows it might be fun. it shouldnt be such a big deal to you, he probably masturbates too, dont worry about that either, you are much more fun, its not a threat.
2006-11-14 07:18:33
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answer #5
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answered by rand a 5
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I agree with 9lives up there, not all guys watch it and they surely don't need it...It is degrading to women and portrays a sick and twisted view on sex and females. You should be happy with the one you are with and not need to go window shopping, if you aren't then find someone else, but don't tell me that watching porn isn't like having your cake and eating it too.
'Oh I love you but I want to watch others on porn and get off to other sluts.' That is bull****. Find a real man that will have fun with you, respect you and has some morals.
2006-11-14 07:33:40
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answer #6
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answered by daisy 4
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No, not all men are into this. Some are actually repulsed by it. Although, I havent met any that will admit being repulsed by it. But one of my friends got embarrassed about seeing a magazine lying around at my house once. Porn is offensive to women, and promotes permiscuous sex, also women in video have came down with AIDS becuase they were forced to participate without using condoms by media and public who support porn. You are correct in your feelings about this many things are wrong with porn. Your feelings are justified and if you feel strongly about it stick with your intuitions. If you are grossed out by this, then he is not the guy for you. If he is chosing to do this knowing how it makes you feel he is not the one for you.
2006-11-14 07:24:02
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answer #7
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answered by pegasis 5
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First of all he needs you and there is no doubt that he will replace you with porn.Men watch porn to see some thing their into, it does not mean he waants to try everything he sees,but might be into. Men watch porn is like men watching Rocky or Starwars it does not make them boxers or jetis or want to train to be one. Yes he needs you and NO he's not looking to replace you.
2006-11-14 07:22:17
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Not all men look at Porn but the ones that do watch it or look at it doesn't mean they are perv's or they want or fantasize about other woman all the time. My Fiance' and I have a fantastic sex life of 4 years. He likes to look at Porn. Don't take it personal. if he was replacing you with his porn then I would be concerned. But if it doesn't have an affect on your sex life then i would say he is a normal man.........
2006-11-14 07:25:57
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answer #9
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answered by horsecrazy 3
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yes. 95% seems a little low though.
I enjoy watching those things I'm not supposed to watch. it makes me a voyeur. I only look at women who want to be looked at so I don't feel anything bad about it. I don't go around peeking in windows but if the lady living behind me wants to run around nude with the windows open I am going to look.
women seem to run and hide from seeing anyone nude. males especially. I guess because if they admit they like it then they might be admitting they would be interested in a person sexually. Men on the other hand just like to look.
the female form is beautiful. lots of soft curves everywhere and no bulging muscles or massive amounts of hair on their bodies or face. Lot's of women shave all their hair off and they look like art objects. don't you think women are beautiful in the nude?
Maybe you and he should have your own photo session taking photos of each other. you can destroy the photos after.
2006-11-14 07:31:01
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answer #10
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answered by oldsoftee2001 6
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