I have a 3 almost 4 year old son. Normally he is a really good kid but the last few weeks have seem to have gotten worse. Not so much at home but at school. He started this school in September and I have received 3 notes about his hitting and then I got a call last Tuesday and then again today to pick him up for hitting his teachers repeatedly. So I guess my question is how do I get him to understand that it's not right to hit his teachers let alone anyone.... I just don't know what to do with him.. any comments welcome, and yes I believe in spankings but that just hasn't been working.... PLEASE HELP!
2006-11-14 07:11:22 · 12 answers · asked by :)*taurus tease*(: 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Has anything changed at home? He is too young and doesn't have the vocabulary to tell you what is bothering him, so lashing out is the only way to express himself. Maybe the teacher should watch him at play with the other children to see what triggers this behavior. He is also having to adjust to the new setting and the new rules and routines as well as develop social skills in this social setting. Help him by giving him the tools to deal with frustrating situations by telling him to "use his words" instead of his hands. Once this is done, his aggressive behavior should decrease. Don't pick him up from school every time the teacher calls. This is teaching him that if he is "bad", he won't have to stay.
2006-11-14 09:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by judirose2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Although violence is never the answer, there could be a reason behind your childs behavior. Maybe the other children are instigating him or bullying him. Most "good kids" don't just start school and become tyrants. Ask him if he is having any trouble with the other children, if so maybe you could point it out to his teachers, that way your son isn't always the only one getting into trouble, and making him look like a "bad kid". Some children try to resolve things themselves, and don't always have the tools needed to deal with every situation. Also, if he is having a hard time communicating with the others, that can also lead to points of conflict.
Hope this helps and Good Luck. There is nothing wrong with your son, he doesn't need to see a counselor or therapist unless these other issues have been addressed first.
2006-11-14 07:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Wizard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried spending the day at school with him? There may be something going on that you don't know about. Maybe the teachers do not handle conflict resolution well and maybe he is having problems with another child that are allowed to escalate. Does he know how to use his words to express his feelings and wants or does he get emotional and act out?
I would stop spanking if I were you, it doesn't make any since to punish hitting with hitting, it just sends mixed messages. Ask him how he feels about school, if he says he doesn't like it, try to find out why.
2006-11-14 17:41:36 · answer #3 · answered by 3B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have that problem with my 34 month old daughter on and off. Most of the time she's really good in school but once in a while she'll hit the other kids. I started giving her a reward for every day that the teacher tells me she behaves and then when she doesn't she doesn't get the reward. She knows that there are consequences for her misbehaving and will let me know when she acts up at school. Good luck.
2006-11-14 07:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
spanking is a personal choice but i believe that teaches to hit.so,maybe you can try a time out but make sure you talk to him at eye level. whats hard is that he has already been reprimanded for hitting when he is sent home.i believe in acknowledging good behavior ,rewards yes but, not always.when in school and has a really good day say [ i'm very proud of you ,your such a big boy. ] after a couple good days in arow maybe a treat to ice cream or something.it's not gonna work over night you must be consistent. good luck happy holidays.
2006-11-14 08:27:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a 3yr old daughter and when spankings stopped working we went to dinner, bath , bed. She hates not playing, reading, or watching any of her cartoons after school so she's stopped getting in trouble at school. Pretty much-take away something he loves.
2006-11-14 11:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spankings just frankly don't work.. obviously. Perhaps you should take him to a really good child psychologist. Of course, don't let him know that he's going to go anywhere serious or anything.. or else he might think there's something wrong with him and he needs to be 'fixed.' It might be something small.. OR it could be something not so small. All types of people go to psychologists, it's not a thing for crazy people, as some people believe. You could call it a counselor, and it automatically becomes less "taboo." Your son is obviously crying out for some help.. of course it doesn't mean he's a bad kid or you're a bad mom. It just means that there's something going on in his life that perhaps you can't see. Counselors help people see things more clearly, so they can solve them. Good luck with your son!
2006-11-14 07:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by Emo B 5 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like something is stressing him out. Have you tried talking to him about his behavior. If he isn't hitting at home something at school is causing him to act out like that.
2006-11-14 07:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by JS 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with spankings. Funny enough I've noticed that children who are spanked, don't hit. Probably because they know it hurts so they don't do it.
Maybe you should show him the notes and then spank him each time he gets one. Explain to him that if he's going to hit his teachers, then you're going to hit his butt.
2006-11-14 07:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 3⤊ 7⤋
Have you tried talking to him about this?
2006-11-14 07:18:12 · answer #10 · answered by njyecats 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋