Would you want to know if the girl you were dating had been previously raped? If she did tell you, would it change your perception of her? Please be honest, its not going to hurt my feelings if you say it would.
2006-11-14 06:29:45 · 18 answers · asked by audairymaid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for all of your answers. I really appreciate your honest opinions and advice.
2006-11-14 07:11:29 · update #1
Wow.. I usually run through these and answer them joking around. Heres the thing. If he LOVES you.. He might not want to hear about it.. but he will help you. IF he loves you. If youre jsut dating.. not that serious etc.. then he might not react very positively to it.. Heres a tip. Youll probably be more comfortable if you tell him. it may explain some things. may not.. i dunno
BUT.. If anyones opinion changes of you run away from them. theyre asholes. It might be rough at first. but they should accept it.. its a terrible terrible atrocity of a crime. you were a victim. if you had your purse stolen once you would tell him no?
If he doesnt act right get rid of him and find a real man.. good luck.
2006-11-14 06:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by greg v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not cast out that information to just anybody, but if I was becoming serious with someone (like before we got physical or a deeper emotionally) I would disclose being raped. If a guy is a man, it should not change his perception of her, but should make him more understanding and hopefully, more protective. A guy who would dump me would be a blessing in disguise, as I really would not want to be involved with someone who thought less of me because I had been raped. I would want to know their shallow character before becoming more involved, married, children and so on. A man would step up a boy would run. Hope this helps you! Good luck!
2006-11-14 06:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to be the one to tell you. It shouldn't be forced by you. Obviously you have suspicions that this has occurred. She is fighting something beyond you and her. She may not want to tell from fear of your reaction. You need to be compassionate and easy the conversation up at the right moment. If you really care about her you will know when. It may take years. You could wait till when it is an issue brought up from a news article or program where you can say (if that happened to someone I know this is how I would feel.) Good luck!!!
2006-11-14 06:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definetly want to know. First I would want to make sure she has been tested so I dont get anything. Second, being raped changes a woman and I would want to know why she acts a certain way or does some of the things she does. If she is upfront I would be more understanding and more helpful to get her through it.
2006-11-14 06:33:23 · answer #4 · answered by Robbyz3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she has grown to be more comfortable with me, I hope she would tell me. Change perception...no. I accept her for who she is and all this time she has been turning me down intimately, I would want to know why. Once she tells me, we both can heal together because rape is something serious. Heal together. Heal together. P.S. Make sure this is the kind of man you see yourself marrying because trust is crucial. Let me know how it turns out.
2006-11-14 06:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by ginufine76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to know. It wouldn't change the perception on us externally..(not that shallow) However internally, if it did change me and caused my love or likeness not to run as deep as before, it would most likely be due to a selfish and ignorant disposition that I was carrying along prior to meeting her. That is not me, but I'm just generalizing to give you a scope of things.
2006-11-14 06:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by Jade 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally wouldn't mind if she had been raped previously. But I'd really feel bad if she has been a s l u t previously and been done these things in her own will.
2006-11-14 06:39:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I reply first, and if the answering makes me feel or makes my day, then I'll megastar. I recognize...it is choosy of me, sorry. o.o But this fashion I emerge as pointing my lovers and contacts to the *well stuff* you understand? ^__^ Or no less than I attempt to. But have a celebrity besides only for being sufferer and information. ^_^
2016-09-01 12:28:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I will understand what she has been going through; she needs support.
No change of perception.
2006-11-14 06:34:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would certainly not change my perspective on her in any negative way. If anything I would think more highly of her for overcoming the demons that were left from this brutal and violent act.
2006-11-14 06:32:05 · answer #10 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋