What do you do if your family doesn't like your boyfriend?

Question

I've been on and off with my daughters father for 6 years. My family says he will never make me happy. We are trying to work on some things, we do have some issues, but in the back of my mind that is all I can hear, "he will never make you happy?" It is scary both ways. What should I do?

Answer 1

The problem is not that your family doesn't like your boyfriend. The problem is that your family is probably right. If they were wrong, you would deal with the situation by telling your family to shut up and stay out of your life. And you have every right to do that. But if they are right, then they are just forcing you to face the fact that you are wasting your time with this guy. You probably know that they are right, but you are afraid to admit that this relationship is a failure.

Answer 2

6 years is a long time to be on and off with a person and not have your issues or atleast most of them worked out. You deserve someone who looks out for your best interest. We are always afraid of the unknown. If he is all you have known for 6 years, of course it will be scary. Change is good.

Answer 3

I agree with most of the other answers given. If you have been with this man for 6 years, had a baby and he STILL hasn't married you, something is wrong. If after 6 years you two are still wrestling over the same issues, something is wrong.

Plus, your family is telling you the same thing.

My advice? Be his friend, but break it off romantically with him. Yes, you two have a child to consider, but it doesn't necessarily mean you have to raise her in the same house.

I know, breaking off with him is scary, but how can you find the one truly meant for you if you keep hanging around this man?

Answer 4

Well, six years is a long time. You've obviously put a lot into the relationship, but if you keep running into the same old problems, then it's not likely to get any better. Your family should know you pretty well, but the decision is up to you whether you want to continue seeing him or move on.

Or you could go on Parental Control (I'm kidding, that show makes me puke).

Answer 5

this is your happines were talking about. Think about it.. if you guys fight more then no its not right , Your family even though they love you and look out for you they wll always feel what they see, They have no idea how you feel, no matter how much you tell them they will never know, its your heart not theirs. Be smart. Now if he disrespects your family, then yeah theres a problem. By him being mean to your family in any way shows that you do not respect your family at all. you also do not respect your self because your not doing the right thing. You know what it is, But i dont know what his like os i cant really tell you what to do but i gave you options. Think Think and just Think of you . for now.

Answer 6

Honestly I think that if youre with somone your family doesn't approve of you should do what your heart follows. My family wasn't fond of me being with a black man. I'm hispanic and they were old fashoned about it and wanted me to stick to my own race, after my mom and dad divorced because he cheated I spoke out and said that I was not going to be stuck to someone just because I wanted to make them happy. All in all my husband (black) turned out to be a great man that now everyone loves. The point to this is..if you belive in your heart you can make it work then go for it you shouldn't have to please anyone but yourself and your daughter! THE END!!

Answer 7

I have to say that I disagree with Michelle B. You should not worry about what anyone thinks but you. You are the one that needs to be happy, and if that he makes you then eventually your family will grow to be happy also. Obviously you think he is going to make you happy or you still wouldn't be with him. Go with what you want, make yourself happy, and do it all for you and no one else. Your family is your family, but you do not owe them anything. I think you might need to ask yourself if he makes you truly happy, or are just afraid of leaving him and him being hurt.

Answer 8

Sad to say but if you have been "on and off" with him for 6 years honey nothing is going to get better. You need to listen to your family and leave him for good. You will although you wont think so at first, you will be allot happier in the long run and so will your child!

Answer 9

Going with the person who responded first on this one...Sometimes things can be seen a lot better on the outside then when you r stuck within...My family and friends all used to tell me to get out of my marriage because they saw the amount of control my ex had over me and also because they knew he constantly lied and cheated on me and was both emotionally/physically abusive. I would never listen to them because well, I was naive and wanted to believe that things would change and that our love would prevail and they would be proven wrong. Unfortunately, I was the only one who was proven wrong when for like the billionth time my then husband cheated on me. Always in the back of my head, I had this notion that he would end up hurting me again and that this would never work but I held on anyway bc my self-esteem was extremely low and bc I was convinced that I could never make it without him. When I finally kicked him out, I felt like such a fool for not taking everyone else's advice. I knew I should've left but I was stubborn and just not clearly thinking right. I should've been thinking with my head in regards to this relationship instead of always relying on my heart. I know that I cannot take back the years that were wasted trying to make him change and just where I endured so much needless pain, but I guess I can at least take a lesson from this all and move on with hope for a better future w/o him in my life. Perhaps your family has good reasoning for not wanting him in your life. Do they dislike him because of who he is or because of how he treats you? By the sounds of it, it seems like you might be in a relationship that is dead but neither wants to let go bc of the comfort and security that the relationship brings and that you are afraid to let go and deal with the changes that this will bring to your life. Then again I could be completely wrong...I don't know. But Im sure that ur family is looking out for your best interests esp if you are also entertaining the thought that "he will never make you happy" so perhaps it is time to gather the strength to finally let go and move on to find happiness either on your own or with someone else who is better suited for you. I wish I would've listened sooner and I just hope that you aren't in a situation similiar to mine where you keep trying to bend the pieces to make something fit that never will (bad analogy sorry). I know it can be hard esp when kids are involved my ex and I were together almost 7 years (together since 16, married at 18, and now divorced at 23) and we have a child together. If you do decide to leave, I must also strongly recommend that you keep your communication limited to just talking about your child and that's it. I also learned the hard way on that one bc he kept trying to use my own emotions against me and kept playing games with my heart and my head. Good luck to you and perhaps you should take ur family's advice more seriously and consider if they see in him what your heart might be blinding you from and whether or not it is worth the effort to stay with him.

Answer 10

The only reason you want to make this about your family not liking him is because you and him (the two parties involved) haven't been able to make it work for over 6 years. You don't want to admit that you've failed, so it is easier to blame your family.
You should not blame others for a relationship that has obviously had its issues.