Ok Heres My Prob! I had A Boyfriend a while back and he was my first love my first EVERYTHING! and now evertime i date anyone else i break up with them right when things start to get serious or im so paranoid that hes gonna cheat on me i run them away...how do i fix my problem
2006-11-14 06:09:27 · 14 answers · asked by Taylor Leigh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to stop dating for awhile. Just tell guys that you're not dating right now and suggest to just be friends and hang out.
Look at it this way. If I jab you in the arm with a pencil, it would hurt but it wouldn't be horrible. But if I jab you in the arm with a pencil into an open wound, then it would hurt 10 times worse.
Right now your emotions are an open wound. They need time to heal. As long as guys keep poking your emotions, they will never heal up. You need to stop dating, and enjoy life on your own while your emotions heal up. You'll know when the time is right to get back into the dating thing. Until then, just say, 'Can we just hang out and be friends?'
2006-11-14 06:15:49 · answer #1 · answered by TechnoRat60 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just not ready yet. The pain hasn't healed so you're not ready to trust anyone again.
The first love/first everything guy usually causes some major heartache because you let yourself become completely vulnerable.
Take some time to yourself. Don't date yet because you aren't ready. Try this: Write a letter to your ex telling him all the damage he's done and the way you feel right now. (you're not going to mail it to him, so be completely honest!) This letter is a way to let out all the anger and grief, keep writing until you run out of things to say and ways to say it. Then seal it in an envelope and burn it. (I personally like to do this at a beach bonfire, but a fireplace or barbecue would work as well.) Watch it burn and feel all the anger and resentment leave you.
After you have done this, wait a while and only start to date when you're sure all the resentment has gone away.
2006-11-14 06:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn from mistakes. Life has it's ups and downs. You are not the only person whose heart was be hurt. But don't complain when you end up being alone. By the time you realize what you want, no one would want you. It's an experience, both good and bad. You either jump on the band-wagon or by the time you are ready it will already be full and you will not be able to fit.
Take you time though a lot of feelings will fade away.
2006-11-14 06:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about FAULT... completely.... it is beneath you (and everyone!)Take back your life! Stop re acting and think for yourself. Don't put so much energy into new situations....start out as friends...(important!) and if it looks scary don't run just enjoy your new "friend" All this will become clearer by itself as you mature... spend more time w/ woman friends.... ask them questions learn how everyone handles these situations and make the decisions that seem right 4 U.... for YOU..you will make mistakes .... part of growing... we all do.... just keep going ... you are the most important person to you ! remember that.
Give freely of your friendship WITHOUT expectations! this can help you stay in balance... stay true to YOU and do for you ! If you are genuinely coming from a caring place...they will begin to come to YOU! b gentle...and share your light!
2006-11-14 06:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by red heads ha! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spend some time on just you find away to trust your self again.you will never trust anyone if you don't.there are a lot of cheaters and love is a risk. if we could only pick the bad ones out life would be so much easier on all. man get cheated on just like us. you didn't make your x cheat he did it all by him self but that doesn't mean the next will their are some good ones left just don't let the one get away .
2006-11-14 06:21:59 · answer #5 · answered by KISS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take every relationship super slow. Let them know that you want to keep things chill for awhile before anything serious happens.
Make sure you talk a lot and really get to know these guys before getting serious. Maybe that will help?
2006-11-14 06:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by Niko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the new guy about the old one and your insecurities, eventually you will find a guy that will work with you through breaking up if it comes to that and understand you are just scared. trust is something that is built, its not free and obviously the previous guy ruined that trust for everyone. rebuild, believe it or not, not all men cheat, there are some that are faithful.
2006-11-14 06:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention why your no longer with him, did he cheat on you? You quite possibly have issues with commitment. Breaking things off with someone at this stage is a very common symptom of this. Feel free to email me.
2006-11-14 06:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of us have been in the same situation as you. I have become determined to live fearlessly. If your first consistently causes you to have problems in all of your relationships, he has won! Don't let him win - move on! GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-11-14 06:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did u and ur first bf split up?... Did he cheat on u ?.. if so i guess u just need to realise that not all men would cheat on you .. give them a chance ... ur self a chance... get over it and enjoy
2006-11-14 06:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋