i have borderline personality disorder and i am currently being treated for it. however, it can take over sometimes i can lash out at people, especially when drunk. (i know i should not drink). i have also recently starting seeing a guy. he is lovely and so patient. he has supported me a great deal recently. however at the weekend we went to a party so he could meet my friends but i drank too much and flipped. i started behaving like a total cow to this guy. he knows that it is related to my illness but it freaked him out and now he wants some space. i am so annoyed with myself. i have tried to apologise but he said he needs some time to decide whether he can cope with my illness or not. have i totally blown it now? i would be really sad if he finished what is actually a really good thing.
2006-11-14 06:07:43 · 15 answers · asked by queenjoef 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
God I bet you could kick yourself.Look I think that he is wondering how to deal with it.Bet this is the first time he has ever seen the real affects of the disorder.Now he could think that it not only effects you but will also effect him in some way. Im not critising you when I say that if alcahol effects you this way then you should of avoided it..but you should of thought before you drank as much as you did. This man has seen you flip now and can be forgiven for wanting space.He might want to be able to understand what you are going through dealing on a day to day basis with your condition but he also could be wondering if he can deal with it.It sounds as though he will be as much a victim to this as you are. It might be to much for him.Dont beat yourself up though I wouldnt like to say if you have blown it but I really hope he tries and realises that you are worth giving it ago.Any kind of disorder is hard to live with and the constant worry of not being able to control the way it effects you is hard enough for the person with the disorder....but having the constant worry of how it will effect another person isnt going to help you in any way.He needs to understand this also.Please try not to drink if it only helps a little its a start to overcoming this disorder.Good luck. XX
2006-11-14 06:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A borderline personality disorder is just another way of staying you are a cow who lashes out as others while drinking and using it as an excuse to be cow. You knew you shouldn't drink, but you did, you knew you lash out at people when you drink, but that didn't stop you. He knows you are a handful and I give him an A for being smart and leaving you out in the field to moo. Get some class and stop being a cow!
2006-11-14 14:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
First of all I would feel bad if i didn't suggest you stop drinking. That I am sure is one of the corner stones of the foundation of your illness. Or at least the acting out of your disorder.
You've done it up good...but if this man is serious and he has seen enough of the real you...the goodness inside ...hopefully that will outshine the dark cloud...don't give up. but give this guy the space he asked for ..to not respect his wishes at this time could be fatal. I would say give him 5 days to a week to survey the situation and then ...if you truly care for this man ...let him know ..so he knows your serious you may want to print your question that you wrote in this forum....that would show him that YOU also are giving this some serious thought. I wish you the best!!!...GOOD LUCK!!!!
Peace
2006-11-14 14:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by KorvetteKaren 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him time he may need it If he wants to pursue a relationship with you. Also look at it from his side and point of view about the situation and how you would react if it were him with the illness. But you should probably stop drinking if it puts you over the edge and could lose him take one step at a time he'll come around and if he doesn't learn and move on.
2006-11-14 14:17:44 · answer #4 · answered by blessnevapet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that first of all you should stop drinking! Theres no point in adding fuel to the fire.
As for ur guy if it really was a good thing he will come back to u. But i think u should help urself b4 starting a relationship.
2006-11-14 14:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by lxl_emmalou88_lxl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure but i think i have something similar to that because when i get annoy i lash out also tell this guy what you think about him n he might understand but most of the time they are all the same
2006-11-14 14:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not totally blown it. Give the guy a week to chill out. If he still doesn't see that you are a great person; then find a new guy.
2006-11-14 14:12:43 · answer #7 · answered by WyoHunter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let him have some space and see what happens. I also think you should avoid drinking all together. I don't think you have blown it. If he really cares about you he will stay with you and support you.
2006-11-14 14:12:53 · answer #8 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a lucky woman if he comes back. You need to make a promise to him and yourself that you will not drink. Because if you are drinking you are not taking care of your problem and it will continue to be a problem. He doesn't need that and probably deserves better.
2006-11-14 14:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by arzachel81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah, i really feel for you. its horrid when things like this happen and no matter how much you say your sorry he will have to figure it out for himself. just let him know how much he means to you and that sometimes things may be tough for you but your trying really hard to sort them out. if he really likes you he will give you another chance. but hey stop drinking would help and then he will see your serious about sorting your problem and about him too. good luck
2006-11-14 14:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋