her doctor wont put her on meds until she is 6. the bus drievers complain dailey that she wont sit down. the teachers sent notes home about her coloring on tables and ripping apart books. she is really bad at home too, smarts off alot and for only being 5 she sure knows how to say something to really piss you off. Ive took away t.v., grounded , and took the fun stuff away as well. she forgets all the time about general everyday rules like dont play on the steps and she just says"oopps sorry" and keeps on doing it until I yell. I am so tired and need another method to help me until she gets help from the dr. any suggestions?
2006-11-14 05:58:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I agree that maybe you need to redirect her energy and a sport that she can do by herself seems like a good idea and better than a team sport. She will need a patient instructor. Can you find other parents in similar situations to talk to? Also have you tried other doctors? Sometimes it takes more than one try to get to the answers.
2006-11-14 06:05:09 · answer #1 · answered by porkchop 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you. My nephew was the same way and the doctor said the same thing. He was asked to leave 3 daycares because of his behavior. Then his "Grandma" read something about "salicylates" in different foods and starting reading on how some kids are affected by certain food dyes, allergens or environmental toxins... and how sometimes kids who seem to be ADD or ADHD can be siginificantly helped by removing these things from their diet or environment.
My nephew became a calm, rational, caring and loving child who was no longer antagonistic or rude. He could focus like never before and he actually started making friends because other kids liked being around him after he changed. His parents were no longer having anxiety attacks about spending time with him every day! Now as a teenager he recognizes for himself that his mood changes when he's exposed to certain things that are "toxic" to his body.
I passed along this info to a friend of mine who struggled with similar issues with her daughter and it worked for them too. My youngest daughter is affected by red and yellow food coloring (sets off angry moods) but seems okay with other stuff.
We started out with a book called "IS THIS YOUR CHILD" by Dr. Doris Rapp.
Dr. Rapp is a pediatric specialist in environmental toxins and allergens in children. What is most helpful is that the book gives examples of actual children and their particular issues (includes pictures) - and shows what happened when they were exposed to a salicylate or allergen or environmental toxin. Many reactions were like an ADD or ADHD child behaves. Then it shows their reaction or behavior when the irritant is removed. With that much detail, you may see an example of a child in that book that is just like what your own daughter goes through.
It may seem like a big task - but the calm and focus it brings over your child will be worth it.
Best wishes to you!
2006-11-14 06:15:20 · answer #2 · answered by Evy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Something that we tried with our God daughter was to set up a star chart. We got the chart at the dollar store and put up daily chores, like brushin her teeth, put away clothes, brush her hair, and most importantly listening. For everything that she does, we give her a star. When she is bad, we take a star. everyday that she gets like 25% done, we gave her a ticket. At the end of the week, she gathers her tickets and can get a toy. whether its at the dollor store for 75% and lower or Walmart 76% or higher. She has calmed down alot and we use the threat of not listening to taking a star away. She at least does what she is told and listens. She wants to earn that toy. Hope this helps, oh yeah, i would also put on there star areas for number, letters and colors
hope this helps, it worked for us
2006-11-14 06:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by Chris H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get back to basic discipline and be consistent.
Make a schedule of daily activity and DO NOT veer off track. Give her a task to do on the bus so she is occupied. Try fish oil until she can have meds.
My son is 10 and we have many challenges but sticking to a routine helps alot. Taking everything away never helps and you will get stuck in a cycle of where you need to give it back just to take it away. Its tough no question but you can help her and yourself by creating a senario that lets her blow off energy in a positive way and still be able to follow rules.
Hope that helps.
2006-11-14 06:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's hyper and acts out because of it. Excercise to get some of that hyper-ness out is a good idea, also when dealing with her acting out make sure you talk to her and not at her, children learn respect for others by recieving it. It's hard to remember in the moment when you are upset over something, but I learned it in a psychology class and it really works, try to remain calm, your mental health is important too, and cut yourself a break. You didn't get a manual with her birth certificate, you were dealt a beautiful child who happens to have a mental health issue, nobody expects you to be perfect. Maybe she is doing it because she feeds off the attention?
2006-11-14 06:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my eldest girl, yet she is such a fantasic person - caring, great sense of responsiblity (for her actions and for all of a couple minutes that she interested). My husband and I made a decision to homeschool, but this may not be the best choice for you. We simply wanted to take her out of an environment in which she would constantly be troubled or labeled or worst ignored by the adults in charge unless they were upset with her!
Schooling her at home has pros and cons, but what it has done is nuture her confidence and allow her to learn about her self and the 'true' responsibility of living with others without putting her down. There's still a way to go, but we'ver made more strides in the last nine months and recovered much of the damage done in the three months prior to that. It could also be that she also just 'growing up'. Be careful with meds, but don't be afraid to think carefully about doing it. It helped by friends' son (who is also a fanstatic guy - a teen now).
Some tips we use - think about writing out a routine (she should be involved in making the routine and it may not stick quickly), use rewards a lot at first for particular things - you can scale back later to show that responsiibility is not always equal to reward, spend time outside of 'scolding sessions' with her, find out her interests (even if they are fluid), pamper her outside of troubled times while encouraging her to think about her actions but don't pamper when she is to be responsible (one of her 'responsibilities' at her age is to have fun - and it nice to be able to have fun with others too, but she can have fun by herself)
More tips: establish authourity and order that does not require an explanation (that takes a long time), discipline quietly, show your struggle from time to time (she may offer you advice on how to get over it LOL) and have 'fun in love and discipline' (our school motto). There discipline means living orderly and self controlled lives. (Orderly does not mean regimented - we have too many different personalities under our roof for that)
All the best. And always - pray; exude gentle quiet confidence; and be gentle with YOU. May your little blossom flower with the scent of roses.
2006-11-14 06:35:29 · answer #6 · answered by jo2u 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has your child actually been tested for ADHD there is extensive testing involved and many parents do not know that. Without this testing your child could actually potentially be harmed by these drugs. Many parents and even doctors do not do these tests and are quick to label a child ADHD. Please do some more research before starting meds.
2006-11-14 06:04:56 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Meds are not the answer. I do not agree with that. The doctor is your excuse. Stop yelling, spend more time with her! Spend as much time as she wants... Not as much time as you think you can spend. She needs positive re-enforcement. Do not dwell on the negative. Okay to take away the TV and video games but grounding just adds to the boredom. Keep yourselves busy keep it positive.
2006-11-14 17:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by Todd Maz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have adhd and i was diagnosed when i was 5. i took aderall as a child and now im 12. i now take conceta and a ritalin in the evening. im a straight A student! when i was in 4th grade i grew out of my medicine and i started getting F's in school... my doctor raised my dosage and then back to the A's. if i dont take my medicine im hyper and cant sit still.
2006-11-14 09:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by tori b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the comments, notes from school, etc and take her to THERAPY so a certified child pyschologist can talk to her about managing her anger.]
And then, make an appointment for yourself to see a psychiatrist so you can learn how to handle her, adn how to cope with your own stress. There is more to ADHD than pumping your kid full of pills. Try therapy as an adjunct and get some support for yourself on learning how to handle her outbursts.
2006-11-14 06:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by KB 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋