My fiance and I have been living together for a little over a year and have known each other since only a few months before that. I've never been the love type but I decided to move in with him because of the undeniable connection and how comfortable we were with each other from the very beginning. The catch is, I'm only 19, going to college, and I'm worried that I might be missing out on life. I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago because I felt that being in a relationship was limiting both of us too much. We might stay together as roommates, but I want to ask - Is the thought of not being in each other's lives this painful simply because breakups are hard, or because we are so compatible and love each other so much should we try to work through it, and maybe give each other more freedom? I kinda am looking for people that have experience with breakups - is there anyone who broke up with someone because of ambition, and is there anyone who stayed with their sweetheart?
2006-11-14 05:56:22 · 6 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I suppose I can appeal to myself as the authority. I broke up with a girl I loved to attend the Berklee college of music in Boston. The greatest years of my life occured (and are still occuring, in fact). I met many wonderful women and found a new woman with whom I am even more compatible and I am now extremely happy. On the other hand, I've watched two people lose lovers for the same ends and they're still miserable because of it.
I think in the end it comes down to how much you love each other. If you're compatible on several levels and you're exremely happy still, after a year, it's possible you've met someone you're close to perfect for and you might not want to risk losing that (although, you sort of already HAVE lost it) and I'd suggest you try to reproach on that whole thing, but if you're feeling trapped and feeling held from the pleasures of life I'd assume you're not as happy as you could be if you left him, dated around and took some more opportunities for yourself. You ARE only 19, after all.
I can't answer the question of whether it's painful by virtue of the fact that it's a break-up or because it's a break-up with someone you love; only you can answer that sort of question. I think unless you've come to absolutely detest the individual you're with, a break-up will always hurt atleast a little because you're losing a comfort zone you've created for yourself. The best thing to do is realize when something has reached its death throes and to also realize that greater opportunity awaits you if you want it and you're strong enough a person to allow it to occur for you. Ever seen "Adaptation" with Nicholas Cage? Yeah... exactly.
Move on if you feel trapped-there's probably a reason you do.
2006-11-14 06:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by Strawberry Field 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I broke up with my first g/f at the college stage. We lived a few streets away from e./o and we'd been together for a few years.
Part of the reason for the break up was our starting up a family business (but of course it was more complicated than that!)
On balance i think what you've done is on the whole, a good thing because in this situation you can have your proverbial cake and eat it.
Breaking up now, whilst it's painful, it'll leave you free to concentrate in a way you couldn't otherwise, especially because you fit so well together. To make it worthwhile however, you have to progress through the awful stage of post-breakup 'stress'
you are perfectly able for both of you to meet up later and enjoy what you had...
2006-11-14 06:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should end it, get your own apartment and spend the next 5-6 years pursuing your own life and dreams. Living with a man out of wedlock as a teenage college girl isn't your best option right now. Don't even be roommates. You're too young and inexperienced for this level of commitment.
2006-11-14 06:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't believe of that is over as far as he's worried. i imagine that is over as far as you're concerned. you purely do not favor it to be. I say that because of purely one line on your question. "now and again I favor he might want to easily flow and get someone pregnant so i can walk away guilt loose." That reported all of it to me. once you extremely love someone you do not even imagine that a lot less say it. you recognize that. i imagine you're staying with him for protection motives. not purely your protection yet your little ones. it really is comprehensible yet not functional. you're paying the costs besides so why not pay the costs only for your self and the youngsters? i do not trust the issue you're having has something to do with you not being waiting to have little ones. i don't believe of you observe of him. Which also potential you extremely do not love him anymore. i desire i did not disillusioned you. now and again we are so close to to the residing house we do not see the backyard that surrounds it. I favor you success. i extremely do.
2016-11-29 03:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by duperne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you, but if you're not together move out. He's going to start dating and you'll start dating and it will be bad.
2006-11-14 05:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope but i feel that im missing out of life too much im 20 and my bf is almost 25 ...i love him to death but i refuse to live him.
2006-11-14 05:59:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋