My boyfriend is amazing. The greatest guy I've ever met. He does nothing but good for me and to me. He would never hurt me (by leaving me alone, going out all the time, not coming home, cheating, lying, etc). Recently, we've hit some bumps...I've been with 6 men (before him) and before me he has only been with 2 girls. He's very old fashioned and pridefull and is very hurt when he thinks about this. He's told me he thinks less of me when he thinks about our numbers, and the people I've slept with.
I've made it a point to be 100% honest with him about anything he's ever wanted to know. So, when he asks about my ex's, and/or sexual activity I tell him what he wants to know. Lately I've been avoiding the questions because 95% of the time we will get into a huge fight over something I tell him. I can't be too detailed, but two of my friends are dating two of my ex's, so my boyfriend hears about them a lot, which drives him crazy. I am at a complete loss here and it's getting worse.
2006-11-14 05:30:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it may sound harsh huni but you seriously do have to tell him to just get over it. You say he has old-fashioned ideas, well then he shouldn't have been sexually active at all then. My guess is that his pride has been hurt by finding out that you've got more experience. You can't change what you've done and you shouldn't have to feel like you want to. He may be a nice guy, but he either takes all of you or none of you. Good luck huni.
2006-11-14 05:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past and should not be used as a weapon. You dated these men before you were dating your boyfriend.
It sounds like the boyfriend is insecure by your past. I personally have had many more sexual partners than my wife and this also was a problem. I never went into details into what I did or didn't do because it quickly sounds like bragging. I would simply tell my wife it is the past before I met her and all that matters is her.
Sometimes honesty in detail is not the best policy. Your boyfriend needs to here he is the one that does it for you and there is no one else.
Good luck.
2006-11-14 05:39:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
having more partners means nothing bad. Your BF needs to understand that u found in him what you have been looking in those 6 partners and did not find. Keep being honest. Ask him if because he is a man, it was going to be fair for him to have more partners. He is sweet, good! but he needs to be a little more understanding. didn't he know u were not a virgin? Well tell him there are not many girls out there with less that 2 unles thei are 14 years old. check statisctics
2006-11-14 05:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by Mimiche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that he is being very immature about the situation, it is asinine to get upset about things that a partner did before your relationship began. The only thing i would say is that you may not want to be so open about you history with him. I would tell him he needs to accept how many people you have been if he wants to be with you now. It is unreasonable for him to get mad at you for past sexual experiences. Tell him that you have been honest with him and that you have no desire to continue talking about past relationships with him. If he cant get over this little thing your relationship now has no chance of making. I am a man by the way and when I was a young man I would get jelous of my girlfriends past relationships and none of them lasted. Like i thought somehow I had to compete with them. Just make him get over it and refuse to argue about it anymore. Good luck.
2006-11-14 05:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's in your past. He should get over it. Refuse to give details on your previous experiences. It's private and he should respect that. You say he is the perfect boyfriend but if he says something like that because of things you did when you didn't even know him then i'm sorry but he aint that great. Tell him straight this has to stop because it is upsetting you. If he loves you he will respect your wishes and you can live happily ever after.
Good luck.
2006-11-14 05:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by dan 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have a serious talk with him. All problems can be solved if you choose the right words. Explain to him that you can't change the past even if you wanted to. No matter what happened previously, now the story is between you and him. If he really loved you for who you are, he'll be able to forget the past and look forward to making the future bright for you guys.
2006-11-14 05:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by virgil_rozario 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I have to say is "What the HELL are you doing sharing that kind of information?!!!" It can only ever really lead to dented pride and hurt.
Seriously.........there are some things that shouldn't be discussed between b/f and g/f and sexual partners is definitely one of them.
Some people aren't secure enough to deal with their partner's history. Some things really are "better left unsaid".
Why ask a question you won't like the answer to?
2006-11-14 05:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he needs to mind his own friggin business.... Just becuase you have been with more people (sexually) than he is, doesnt mean that he should think any less of you. as far as you being honest with him... good for you, but there is such a thing as being "too honest" and this is a great example of it. he really didnt need to know about your past. you two need to be building a future together, not reliving the past....
2006-11-14 05:37:01 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really none of his business how many people you've been with. If he loves you he shouldn't mind as long as you don't keep pushing the fact in his face, or comparing him with past lovers (most guys hate it). It might be a good idea to get tested for STDs just in case because you never know.
2006-11-14 05:35:02 · answer #9 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
ok...so i get that it bothers him.. if he can't take it he needs to stop asking. you should think about your first statement....he can't be that great if he told you out right that he thinks less of you for something you did in the past that HE asked you about.
i personally think it gets to him that much more since he has to see these guys and knows them i guess pretty well. most times it's out of sight out of mind.
He needs time, maybe think about not spending as much time with those friends who dates your ex's as couples. spending time with those guys will only make things worse in the end.
2006-11-14 05:54:31 · answer #10 · answered by anya_8884 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋