Best way to fix an email being taken the wrong way?

Question

I hate it when you send someone an email (at work) and they get all offended by the way you worded something. I was just verbally attacked by someone who got offended by an email with a request in it, she took it as my telling her how to do her job when that is completely not the case. Now she is giving me an attitude, will not talk to me, and is not forwarding my calls when they come in (she is the receptionist). I tried sending her an email explaining that she took what I said the wrong way and I that I'm sorry she took it that way, etc., but she deleted it without reading it.
Do I leave it alone, or do I go and try to talk to her again? Any advice?

Answer 1

If you've apologized and attempted to clarify the situation, you've done your part. What's she's doing is "Businessplace Bullying." You need to take the email and your attempts to rectify the situation to her supervisor and explain what's going on. Explain that you're very sorry and certainly not trying to tell her how to do her job, but that you need certain things done a certain way, and explain why. Keep emotions out of the conversation and show that you're "all business."

Answer 2

If she's not doing her job, you should speak with her supervisor. Work is not the place for settling personal vendettas, it's completely unprofessional. If I gave a co-worker the silent treatment each time they ticked me off, this place would be as quiet as the morgue.

From now on perhaps you should review your emails and make sure your requests come off as just that -- a request, not a demanding or scolding. Use phrases which tell the reader what you need and how you need their assistance without having them perceive it as blame....for example let's say the receptionist has not giving you certain phone messages and they've been piling up unattended on someone else's desk, thereby causing a gap in communication that makes you look bad. How about a simple "I'll be dealing with Mr. ______ so please forward all calls and messages to me. Thanks!"....Not "From now on......" or "You didn't...." or "Why didn't you...." Yes it sounds like babysitting but a little workplace courtesy goes a loooong way. And keep copies of those emails to cover yourself.

Answer 3

I suggest face time. You should talk to her in person to sincerely apologize and explain what happened. Tell her what you think she does well so she feels like you know she does a good job. We can't tell from your question what the request in the email was. If talking to her in person doesn't work, she still needs to at least do her job by forwarding your calls. If nothing else works, then involve her supervisor or the office manager.

Answer 4

First of all stop e-mailing. She obviously isn't going to read them. Walk up there, apologize if she has taken this the wrong way; then get to the issue. If she ignores you or continues with this behavior, then let her know that you have tried to resolve this problem but you are being forced to speak to her supervisor. I would keep a copy of the original e-mail, and I would keep it in a file. In case this comes up at your review. Get it done now before this has a chance to escalate.

Then have as little contact as possible with her. Be civil, professional, other than that she doesn't exist, don't give her a reason to start this over again.

Answer 5

Obviously, even as a receptionist, she has the duty to foward your calls. You don't wan't to attack her anymore as your trying to make a truce. Don't worry, this has happened to me many times. Expressions or even phrases that we use and understand can be intercepted the wrong by another, especially if they are foreign born or even from a different geographical area of the country. This is what I would do. Bring to the office some sweets tomorrow, donuts a cake, whatever you desire. Offer a piece bto her. In fact ask her to come into the lounge to share a piece. Then appologize (swallow your pride) and explain to her in a way you think she would understand. Get it resolved ASAP before a war happens!

Answer 6

I am a receptionist. If she is not forwarding your calls, she is not doing her job, regardless of what her personal feelings toward you are she still needs to do her job. If she is going to cop an attitude over a little criticism she doesnt need to be in a public position that has to deal with lots of personalities and issues. I wouldnt leave it alone. Tell her to knock it off or you will pursue other action.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

It sounds like she is very immature, I'd talk to her supervisor and let her know that she is not forwarding your calls. Let her grow up and learn how to work in the adult world.

In the future, you do need to be sure you articulate yourself correctly in the body of your e-mails. Things do appear differently on screen than they would otherwise. Hang in there, don't get involved in office drama at any cost, because in the long run you will suffer for it.

Answer 9

Try talking face to face. Emailing and notes can easily be taken the wrong way and are the easy way out.

Answer 10

Yes, you should follow up. We are ultimatly responsible, not only our words and actions, but the preception of same. then next time you write an email. Read it to yourself in a monotone voice, because that is how most peices are read. You have to be 10 times more descriptive in writing then in speaking.