dating a coworker in a small office?

Question

I work in a small office, really small - there's less than 10 of us. There's a "new guy", he's been here a few months now and I really like him. He's just an amazing person. Anyways, he's the brother-in-law of one of my other coworkers who I'm pretty good friends with. I just don't know what to do because it's becoming obvious that we like each other. We have so much in common & at the same time a lot we can learn from one another. I've always had a pretty strict rule about not dating coworkers, but I'm finding it difficult to just be friends with this guy.

Since it's such a small office you really can't talk to anyone without everyone hearing, so it's hard for us to really have any kind of privacy and talk more openly here. He's a bit older than me, about 7 years. I just don't know what to do at this point, and none of my friends have really been in this position.

I should have mentioned there is no policy on dating in the workforce here because... well, there's only 2 women working here and one of them is married to the boss. lol. It's a construction company, and I'm friends with the owners - I've known them practically my whole life, that's how I got this job. It's just a small operation where there was never really a need to establish a dating policy.

Answer 1

If you like each other go for it. Get together outside of the office. you can't be scared of what will happen if it doesn't work out. If everyone was like that then no one would ever get together. If there is an office policy that coworkers can not date then you need to be sneaky. You never know, you might have found your soul mate.

Answer 2

Do you have email? You could try to send him an email, but keep it fairly professional, and try to just inititate contact- don't go confessing your undying love to him over email. You could just ask him if he wants to go for a coffee at lunch, or go somewhere for lunch- and if you don't want to ask in front of everyone, wait until the end of the day, and try to leave at the same time he does and you can ask him on the way to your cars/bus...
You also have an 'in' with your friend who is 'related' to him. You could casually mention (if you haven't already) that you think he's really nice, and you think you're becoming interested in him. See if your friend picks up on your casual hints, and offers to mention something to him. I know dating co-workers can be tough...I met my now husband at the office we worked at. Once it became really serious, and we moved in together, I found a new job. Your job isn't everything, and relationships mean more...so it was worth it. Just make a rule that if you are going to date your co-worker, that you don't speak throughout the day- and you always drive in separately...don't become 'that couple' that can't work together without showing everyone that you are a couple. Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Hello, I understand the sensitivity involved. I think you need to establish mutual attraction first. Remember as long as you are not in a reporting relationship with him, there shouldnt be any problem dating someone from your office. To start with, Send him an email to check if he would be interested in getting together after office. When you do, be candid & tell him you are apprehensive about dating a co-worker & would prefer to keep your dates outside the office private. See whether you hit it off after the first few dates. Then take a reality check & see how where you guys are heading. If you think things are working very well, check your company policy & if its ok to date a corworker, dont make any efforts to hide your relationship. f your company isnt open to relationship amidst co workers then start job hunting. Jobs are aplenly but a good partner is one in a million. I have worked in the same office with my boy friend & were very open about our relationship. Infact our boss was accomodating & happy about us being upfront & ensured we had similar workdays & hours :)

Answer 4

True in such a small place,you will have others,as we say in Spanish "stretching the ears" to hear the daily gossip. Try communicating by sending each other emails,or at the very least when both of you are together,use sign language so no one will know what you're talking about,lol.

Answer 5

I think that if you really care for each other and seem to have alot in common, then why not? That said, beware of the fall-out if your relationship doesn't work. Because you haven't had alot of time together in the office, then I would suggest meeting after work or during a break outside of the office to see if you could work out. Offer to pick him up a coffee in the morning, then gradually progress to actually asking him out for coffee.....This is fairly low-risk as he is still new and it will be seen as friendly....best of luck!

Answer 6

There is no bar against dating a co-worker. The main question however is what does he feel about you? You should meet him alone. You can fix it. If you are sure he likes you and you see future in your relationship you should not keep it a secret that you are dating him. Let everyone know. It is better that way to avoid all talk.

Answer 7

See I was actually in the same position before and it didn't turn out to well. He was feeling me and I was also in to him. But things ened up not working out and I had to face him everyday. It's not so bad now but you gotta think what if it doesn't work out could you face him everyday. Now if you really like each other and really wont it to work I would say that one of you try to find another job. That way you don't get tired of seeing each other all the time. Also if it just so happens it doesn't work out you wont have to face him everday. With me it hurt even more cause he's ex came back and I had to face both of them.

Answer 8

Why not throw caution to the wind and give it a go? My parents were both co-workers who got together: I'm proof that it can work out sometimes! If you like the guy, what's stopping you? Better him than some creep you meet in a bar on a Saturday night.

Answer 9

that's a not undemanding one...i will permit you be attentive to that's how I met my spouse yet we tried to maintain it quiet. It finally did not paintings and the somewhat strict eastern company we labored for became into not happy approximately it. i became into compelled to resign. yet we've been/ are in love so it did not rely. That became into eleven years, a house and a one million newborn in the past and we are nevertheless sturdy. We did not somewhat care approximately letting human beings see that we relatives member yet another. yet perhaps that's the reason i became into compelled to resign? yet hiding it and being sneaky is additionally warm. a rapid kiss in the replica room. no rely if that's something which you think of has a destiny, job be damned decide for it. additionally get busy on the workplace after hours. If the relationship or job does not final a minimum of you have a large tale collectively as your on the bar with your pals.

Answer 10

If your company does not have any rules against the dating then go for it...but keep in mind that if things do not work out well between you two then you will (probably) both still working there and if the company suffers so will you.