My girlfriend thinks we are getting engaged this christmas i dont feel quite ready what will i do?

Question

I was going to get engaged just after Christmas on the 6th of January we are broke too which doesnt help will it be a big disapointment over the christmas not to get engaged for her just to wait a few days more we could wait another year but i dont want to

Answer 1

She wont be upset if you talk to her. Also explain that you can ask her at christmas, but it wont be with a ring she is happy with. Or you could set up a wonderful engagement night. Very romantic, and pop the question in a romantic way, but before tell her you dont have the ring cause you want her to pick it out. That may buy you some time and you may find great sales after christmas.

Answer 2

Perhaps the biggest thing in a successful marriage is honesty. If you aren't ready to get engaged, then you need to tell your girlfriend that sooner rather than later - or she will be hurt. Don't use reasons like money, because at the end of the day an engagement is far more than a ring or fancy wedding - be honest about not being ready.

Explain to her that you know you want to marry her, but aren't ready to make the commitment of getting engaged and married just yet. Make sure she knows that it isn't because you're flaky, but because you know the value of marriage and want to get it right.

I completely understand where you are coming from - my fiancé and I knew from very early in the relationship we would get married one day, but he wasn't ready to ask me until a couple of years later. It didn't matter though, because we both knew we'd get there, and sure enough we are getting married in a few weeks. So just make sure your girlfriend realises it is only a postponement - she should understand.

Also, you talk about getting engaged at Christmas and waiting a year if you don't. Why is it essential that you get engaged at Christmas time? OK, it might be an anniversary or something, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter what time of year you get engaged, you can make the right occasion at any time - the right time is when you're ready.

Good luck, I hope it works out well for both of you.

Answer 3

If you aren't quite ready then you obviously shouldn't propose - tell her that you'd like to wait until after the holidays to get engaged so she won't be crushed on Christmas - anyway Christmas is already special being a holiday and all - so waiting will just make after the holidays special too

Answer 4

Bottom line...tell her the truth.
Be true to yourself too. There is nothing to be gained by getting engaged or married before you're ready. She will respect you for being honest with her. I'm not saying she won't be angry or upset, but a solid relationship is based on trust and good communication and understanding and love.
I'm sure she wouldn't want you to propose if you are having second thoughts.
However, don't let your finances be the reason you aren't getting engaged. It's what is in the heart that matters...lavish engagement rings are not everything...I would wear a plastic ring out of a cereal box as proudly as I would wear a 4 carat diamond ring...it's what it stands for that matters most, so please be true to yourself, no matter what your decision is.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Whats the big thing with waiting a few mnore days, if you explain it to her then I'm sure she wont mind that. Sounds like you want to get engaged to if your dont want to wait another year.

I would just tell her the situation up front and then she is very unlikely to be uspet.

If she expects it xmas day and its not there it will ruin her christmas - trust me I know I expected it last year and didnt get it. (although we are engaged now) but it really spoilt christmas day as I was so sure he was going to surprise me with it.

Honesty is always the best policy!

Answer 6

Just have a good Christmas and tell her you are not going to get engaged yet, then tell her you want it to be a surprise and you want to do something special to purpose to her, that will buy you some more time. Just let her know you still very much love her and want to marry her but you want everything to be perfect when you ask her. Tell her it will be soon! That will give her something else to look forward to.

Answer 7

Talk to her, tell her what you're thinking.
Don't lead her to believe that you are never going to propose, or that you are going to do it over the holidays, it will crush her.
Take her for a walk and tell her that you do want to marry her and that the fact that you are broke doesn't help you get her the ring you want. She may surprise you and say that she would love to marry you and that the ring is no biggie and that she will be there when you are ready. Just don't wait too long, she might get tired of waiting.
My husband and I eloped and got silver wedding bands and we've been married for over 5 years. I'm glad he didn't wait to buy me a fancy ring!!!!

Answer 8

marriage is for life not just for christmas if you are not 100% sure that you do want to get engaged then you should wait it is not a little decision you have to make it is a massive one it would cause more heartache if you ask and then decide this is not what you really want take your time if she is the right girl for you she will wait

Answer 9

Sit her down NOW and tell her that now is not the best time for us to get engaged, she will say why? tell her I have not seen a ring that was worth giving to her seeing as she is your princess and it must be fit for a princess if she was willing to wait a couple more weeks,

Answer 10

If you don't feel ready then don't do it and don't feel pressured into doing something that you don't want to do. If you are planning to get engaged after Christmas then don't say anything to her about when you are planning to ask her, she doesn't actually know that you are going to ask her anyway so just hold your tongue and surprise her when you feel ready.