Do I let her go????

Question

I started dating a girl over 3 months ago. We get along great and hit on all levels. She however has a male friend who was an ex. I was fine with them hanging out until I called and she had a tough time talking and saying she loved me as we were hanging up (which she always does). I asked her about it and she said that "he wouldn't understand" and she didn't want to explain it to him. As time went on, it seemed like she was online, but not answering my messages early in the morning (5am-ish). When I asked, she said it was "her routine" to check news, etc, but that was it. When it still lingered, I happened to check her phone call log and found her talking to him early and on her commute. (even though she talked to me and said I was her first thought). So I asked her if she talked to him and she said no. When i confronted it with the call log, she admitted but said she forgot. After further discussion after I left because I was hurt, she admitted talking to him in the morning

Answer 1

don't let her go-MAKE HER GO ! who needs this kind of crap?

Answer 2

For ex-es to remain such great friends that they chat on a regular basis and at unusual hours, but remain only friends... is about as likely as winning the lottery. She may not be cheating, but she sure isn't uncomfortable with being around the guy.

If they only dated a couple weeks and realized they weren't right for each other or if they finished dating more than a year before you started going out, I MIGHT give her the benefit of the doubt.

Does she have any other guy friends like this? Heck, does she have any girl friends like this?

If you really would like to continue this relationship, tell her how you feel. Tell her that you are having issues of trust, and let her explain and/or offer a possible solution. Don't force her to prove herself, that will only develop a sense of resentment, not more trust. If what she has to say does not satisfy you, then end it.

Answer 3

She isn't over him. You may be a rebound for her honey. She may actually have feelings for you but it sounds like she doesn't know what she really wants. You ought to let her go because in the end, you are the one who may be left standing alone and with all kinds of feelings for her while she is off with him. First of all, relationships are built on trust and communication. Sounds like you have some serious problems with her in both departments and its only been three months! You can talk to her about all of this but I'm not so sure it will do you much good if she is still harboring feelings for her ex. Fact of the matter is, when she said she forgot, SHE LIED! Good luck hon.

Answer 4

It seems as though she may be feeling sorry for her ex, maybe he is having a hard time letting go. It is hard to say without knowing how serious they were... The problem here is that she is lying to you and that is not fair. If he is only a friend of hers then there is no reason why you cannot be involved too. You must insist that you get to meet her friend and make an effort to be nice to him. Maybe you could be friends too? If she still wont let you meet him then she must have something to hide. She is with you now, she must put your feelings before her ex's. Sit down and talk properly, if she wont co-operate then you are better off without her. Go find someone who respects you and loves you back equally.
Good luck.

Answer 5

I am sorry to say this but it sounds like she is not completely done with her ex. How long did she date him? Usually people who remain friends with their exes do it because they haven't completely let go of what they had.

I know it hurts. But it is probably best that you walk away now before you find out that she never broke up with in him in the first place.

Answer 6

Yes....you should let her go. I'm sorry that this must be very painful for you, but you have managed to figure out that this girl is not being straight with you. She hasn't closed the door on her previous relationship, and seems to enjoy having you both around. She's broken your trust. Act on the information you now have and break it off.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like she is playing you both. Dump her quickly. If she is doing this intentionally she is really wrong and if she isnt then she needs to grow up and figure out what she wants in a relationship before she committs to one person. Let her go, as hard as it may be but I guarantee you will feel better in the long run.

Answer 8

If she has a problem with seeing him when you're around, that's a bad sign. If she wanted you to be jealous, she'd make it more apparent, she's most likely unsure of whether she wants you or him. So, breaking up with her would be giving her only one option, the other guy. So don't be surprised if you do break up with her and she starts dating him.

Answer 9

...from my personal experince no matter how hard you try or how hard you wish for you, you can not be friends with your ex. theres too many things from the past. im sorry to say this but if shes hanging out with him and still has such a good contact with him, theres more than friendship between them..

Answer 10

Even if she's not having a physical relationship(although not sure on that one), she's having an emotional one with her ex. Sounds like she's just not really ready to give him up yet. I think you were right to leave.

Answer 11

I would have a talk with the ex and fing out whats going on you no a man to man conversation