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(My take: I never really "dated" or "dated" my husband for that sense. I always thought it is best to marry if you think the person is right and that is that. Elhamdulillah it worked for me. I have seen other people who have had arranged marriages and it worked out very well for them. So I wonder if that is the case for most arranged "religious" marriages... Please educate me I am drawing my opinion based on experience)

With love,
Muslimah!

2006-11-14 03:36:46 · 20 answers · asked by . 3 in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

20 answers

i say it's good.

2006-11-14 03:38:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7 0

I think it's perfectly okay to do so. What probably would make it hard for alot of people is that it isn't a normal part of their culture. In fact, I think you may be onto something.

In my spiritual order, if one is married when they enter the order they cannot enter it unless their spouse is approved as well.

If they are unmarried then they cannot marry without the permission of the Elder and The Council...primarily the Elder who is advised by The Council.

It's not a requirement, but if as a single member of our order if one feels a desire for marriage they are given the choice whether to find a partner of their own or to let the Elder and the Council do that for them.

It's always worked out, in fact...from what I've seen and heard so far the one's who let the Elder and the Council do the "choosing" are even happier than the one's who "found each other".

But in this day and age that's hard for a lot of people to understand, much less accept. I don't know why, but they mistake what it is, like we are being subjugated or something.

2006-11-14 03:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by Dhara 6 · 3 0

I have always thought arranged marriages worked, because your parents and the people around you know you very well and know and care about what is best for you, so when alot of thought goes into that it works but when its for other reasons such as money and connections then its not a good arrangement.

My friend was forced into an arranged marriage because in her families opinion she was getting too old to find a decent husband (she was 21) and he turned out to be a bad choice he murdered her after 11 months. so that was a definate bad arrangement, but on the whole if thought and consideration goes into the match then arranged marriages are good most of my friends have them and the majority are happy and have good lives.

2006-11-14 04:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 4 · 2 2

i work with a women who is indian from india and her and her husband were arranged marriage as well. From what she tells me she wasn't able to date him first either...they got to meet one night and afterwards she told her father she would marry him and 2 months later they were married. they have been together for like 7 years now and have the cutest little girl. Anyway this women seems extreamly happy, i've never heard her say a bad things about her husband either. I don't know how i would feel about an arranged marriage personally. Although, there was a guy my parents had picked out for me...someone they thought would be good for me...and i turned the idea down....i don't regrett doing so...but the guy is doing well and still single..as am i...but we're only friends...and afterwards i dated a few loosers that i picked...now though i am seeing a nice guy. I guess whatever works for you. If you are happy with the man you are married too then great...your parents did a good job at picking him out for you...but then you have to grow to love him...you'll never experience the feeling of seeing someone for the first time and bam! love at first sight...that is what it was like when i saw the guy i am seeing now and we are tlaking about getting married in a year or so. So who knows!

2006-11-14 03:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by tigerlily 3 · 3 2

arranged marriages isn't purely a backward way of having married yet extra importantly this is haram and not allowed in Islam. in case you mean relationship by way of the yank standards like in simple terms you 2 by way of yourselves for a protracted volume of time then hooking up after then this is haram. even with the actuality that my mothers and fathers went on dates earlier they have been given married yet they went on crew dates w/ human beings around them. it incredibly is so as which you're much less possibly (if in any respect) going to do some thing this is haram like hooking up. Islam closes the door earlier the wind blows it open. In Islam, you mustn't rush right into a marriage on the grounds which you do no longer desire to finally finally end up in a divorce. you may get to be conscious of the guy and be conscious of their evaluations a pair of lot of issues. yet there are extra then one techniques od doing this and it would not could desire to be by way of the uncomplicated way of relationship. because of the fact on each and every occasion this is two human beings of the different intercourse by way of themselves the third social gathering is often shaytan (the devil)

2016-12-17 09:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think arranged marriages are perfectly acceptable if that's what both parties involved want. But i think they are totally wrong if one of the parties is in any way shape or form forced into it. I'm Muslim, my husband is Muslim but ours was not an arranged marriage. Having said that all his brothers, sisters and also his parents had arranged marriages and they are all happy, loving and successful ones.

2006-11-14 03:43:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 2

There is no marriage at all! People can only be truly married who desire to be married to each other. It's not about whether or not something works out, but rather do these two persons want to be married. A lot of things changed when Christ established the new covenenant,....but I'm sure you aren't Christian and so you have to discern for yourself.

2006-11-14 04:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by SeraMcKay 3 · 2 2

I respect that approach to marriage. Because marriage is not a 'gonad reaction' it is a serious partnership of two people. So why not allow the parents to choose for you. I find the Indian custom very interesting. I didn't know Muslims arrange marriages as well.

We learn to love our spouse, even the one we choose ourselves. If we don't learn the marriage kind of love then a divorce follows.

2006-11-14 03:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by a_delphic_oracle 6 · 3 2

marhaba......
that is very common in some cultures, as arab (your culture) , hindu, and some other african countries. I understood what u said about that it worked for you.......but.......what about all the women that have arrived to marriage without to know their husbands???
Some of them being kids..( 14 or 15 years old ), just married with 35 or 40 years old men... How to intimate with a grown up man when that "women" were playing with their brothers and sisters the day before???
That men, most of the time dont think about their wives necessities, they only want a wife to deliver their sons..
Hamdellah, that is changing a bit nowadays, and i think that women finally (in some places at least) can say NO when they dont like the man.
We women, have rights too, in spite of our religion and our culture, and i hope all of us can understand that........Inshallah !!!!

Salam

2006-11-14 03:57:05 · answer #9 · answered by حلاَمبرا hallambra 6 · 2 2

Well I live in a country and culture where that is not the norm, and as a result I have no experience with that. I would never require it of my child, as I want my children to be in love and have the freedom to make their own choices. Otherwise they are not individuals at all, only manisfestations of the desires I have pushed upon them.

I would also never agree to such a marriage for myself.

That's my opinions *for me and mine*... if it works for you, then I'm happy for you as well.

2006-11-14 03:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by Snark 7 · 3 2

the only problem with pre-arranged marriages is that it takes away the womans free will and choice to decide on whom she wants to marry, but having said this ,if it works out for the good then that`s fine.

2006-11-14 03:42:12 · answer #11 · answered by Sentinel 7 · 2 3

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