I met this guy who is absoloutley wonderful, the only thing is his ex girlfriend is about 4 months pregnant. He cares for me alot and I really get on with him, the only thing is. If I am still with him by the time the baby comes, I have a fear that I shall be pushed aside, even though now he is saying that he will always hae time for me.
The other thing is we are both 18 and I'm to young to have to deal with problem exes and other peoples kids. The ex knows the picture but I'm just afraid that when the kid is born they will get closer. I don't want to get hurt again but I care for him alot, we get on really well, I don't want this to ruin things between us. I did play quite hard to get at the begining so I know that he cares for me.
Someone please help me!!!!!!!
2006-11-14 03:27:48 · 28 answers · asked by Prudence22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that you certainly have your eyes open, so that is a huge help. Life is not always what you wish it to be, if this guy is for you, you have to love or care for all sides of him- you may be playing with his child someday- you need to take it all with a grain of salt and realize that that may happen, if you are supposed to be together then it will happen, and your worrying one way or the other will not change that- in fact, bugging him will probably hurt the situation! If you need to let him know your fears- then do so in a straight forward manner and then just enjoy what you have- life is tristed sometimes but your road will show itself to you soon. Its more about him and his worth and feeling toward you (and I'd pay attention to how respectfully he does treat his ex) than your worry.....
2006-11-14 03:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His ex is only 4 months pregnant-meaning he was very recently heavily involved with someone, and now he's on to you. What will happen if you get pregnant? You know the answer because you know him--he will leave you an move on to someone else. If he really was Mr Wonderful, he would still be with the future mother of his child, caring for her! You're only 18-my God--there are millions of guys out there that you will get along great with. My personal advice is to find someone who doesn't have all this baggage and enjoy being 18! If you stay with him, there will ba many occasions where he will have the baby to care for, and you will become the child's 2nd mom-it is just the fact of life with a young child. It doesn't sound like you're ready for that-and it isn't your responsibility either.
2006-11-14 11:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump Him Double Quick! You Don't Wanna Get Involved In All That, Go Find Someone Else Who Don't Go Round Have Sex With Just Anybody He Can It Will Only Cause You Heartache In The Long Run STD's & Other Girls He Has Knocked Up Along The Way, You Can Do Better For Yourself Then That!
2006-11-14 11:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only 18! this guy is a looser. His ex is 4 months pregnant and now he says he really cares for you alot. I think you know in your heart that you need to end this relationship. You are way to young to be involved with someone who has a child. The child will always come first and rightfully so and he and the ex will now forever be linked and will have contact for at least 18 years. Are you willing to give up some weekends to be with him when its his time for visitation. I think you know what you need to do.
2006-11-14 11:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all how long have you been dating him? If the girl was already preg. then you should do what you feel is right.
1.Do you love him?
2. How does he treat you?
Tell him that every time he see his child that you are going to go with him.And to go though child support that there way the will be no problem . I had a problem kinda of the same way except i have my two kids(that live with me) and he has two kids(that don't live with him) and the three child is both of ours. well his baby's momma wouldn't let him see the baby if i went so we took it to court and now everytime we go see his little girl we have no problem. We are still together and very happy. If you really love him give him a chance. He might now be so bad . We all learn from our mistakes. If he doesn't treat u right the leave. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-11-14 11:40:19 · answer #5 · answered by Linda704 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you heard that there was a baby on the way you should have ran. At 18 years old you really don't want to be caught up in all that, you should be out having a good time. It's your boyfriend that's made a mistake not you so why should you have to carry some of his burden - that is the way things will end up. It doesn't sound like things have got deep yet. If they haven't If I were you I'd run while I can. There are plenty of nice guys out there who don't have this kind of baggage hanging round their head at 18years old.
2006-11-14 11:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by whitney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course after the baby is born he is going to have less time for you. The birth of a child usually does bring two people closer together. Another thing you need to consider is why did he leave his pregnant girlfriend? Will he get you pregnant and leave you? You are to young to have to deal with all this drama.
2006-11-14 11:31:04 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the truth is luv, if there's kids involved and you really love this guy...you have to love his kids too....the ex will always be on the scene no matter what....if he is done with this girl then you have nothing to worry about...but if you shun his child then there's a chance that your relationship will be over before you know it...i am with a great guy, 10 years together now, i knew he had kids and i was willing to take them on too because i have kids about the same age as his, they all get on like they were brothers and sisters...there's no way he would stay with me if i said that i didn't want anything to do with his kids...so think about this carefully....you have to accept his kids in order to have a relationship with this guy, if you cant then there's no future for you and him....don't worry about the ex....after all she is an ex....be happy for him and if you feel that your going to be pushed aside...then help him out with the baby when he gets visitation....
2006-11-14 11:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes these things happen, you just have to think positively
and talk to him more about how you feel, but you have the right to be afraid of what could happen, you feel like he will see the baby and want to try to work things out w/ her, but they broke up for a reason. if her getting pregnant hasn't made him want to stay then the baby probably won't neither,but he will probably be in his childs life, every child needs their father in their life, and he will probably have to pay child support. the baby is and will be the most important part of his life no matter what. the child should always come first no matter the relationship.
2006-11-14 11:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by hugabug72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to be dealing with all that. I would just be friends with him for now and when the baby comes check out the situation and see how he is reacting to the baby and the baby's mama. If he doesn't have time for you...you got your answer, but if he still cares about you and want to be with you, I would give it a shot.
2006-11-14 11:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋