Will revealing a secret problem...make you closer to a guy..as far as trust is concerned?

Question

I've been dealing with a problem that I've kept hidden from him, this guy that I've been seeing for over a year, yah a year. We have both had trouble revealing our true selves to each other because of fear of what the other may think. So we need to work on trust. He has at least shown me that he has a problem with chewing tobacco, that I've been trying to help him with, but I'm sure there are problems he's still hiding. So would revealing my lil problem to him, make him open up to me more about his problems? What's the best way to go about this? I'm scared though of what he might think. Has anyone had any experience with this before? Did it turn out for the better?

By the way, my problem has to do with addiction to diet pills, ever since I modeled. But I need help in order to quit.
Maybe I can suggest going to counseling together..would that work?

Answer 1

baby girl, ask yourself will he keeps you secret hidden. and what good will it come of it? he won't open up if you did. that's not a trade. by the way chewing tobacco is nasty. that's no secret. it's just a bad habit

Answer 2

Well, it turned out alright for me, anyway. I think it really depends on the guy. To be honest, all you can do is try it and see. I'd guess the best way to do it is not make a big deal out of it, just say "I trust you so I'm gonna trust you with my problem" etc. If he still doesn't open up to you after that, you've got two options. Either A) You're gonna have to ask him directly if there's summat else the matter, or B) he's not actually hiding anything.

Answer 3

I would say for the most part that people don't want to hear about other people problems. As far as realationships go it's different. You two are sharing part of each others lives, trusting each other from what you put in your question. I would be wary about dropping some bomb on him, it may be more than he can deal with. Is it a problem that he can help you with or somehow support you through it? If not just keep it to yourself, don't lay a problem on him if he can't help you with it, just find some other way to deal with it.

Answer 4

Women are emotional creatures. It is important to be with a man that makes you feel secure. If you do not feel secure with this person, perhaps he is not the person you need in your life. I'm sure you have put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, however, it is obvious you are not getting what you need out of it. Love = trust (and a whole lot of other things) If the two of you can't trust each other with intimate secrets, you are either not ready to be in a relationship or the two of you are not meant for each other.

Before you decide to tell your secret, you have to ask yourself how well will you handle it if he rejects you with the revealed secret? If you are ready to handle either response then you (not him) are ready to reveal your secret. If you are not ready to handle a negative response, then you are not ready to reveal your secret.

In case this does not make sense, I'll give a brief explanation. Only you are in control of your feelings. No one can make you feel hurt, mad, sad, etc. You choose to feel that way. If you are not ready to handle the emotions this situation can cause, I suggest talking to friends first and exploring your own personal conflicts.

Answer 5

This is what Ive learned about sharing your secrets. Once you share them they will be used against you. You will be judged. You will look back after you guys break up and wonder why in the hell you told him that. Now this person is no longer with you but knows some of your darkest secrets. And remember there is no guarantee it will make him share more. If you need help with the diet pills why not ask mom/sister/brother/best friend for help ?

Answer 6

Depends on what the 'little problem' is. I chewed myself and stopped before I got married, not because she asked me too but I just felt it was the thing to do. Ideally you o into these things being open from the beginning but in real life that rarely happens. One thing to keep in mind is that the relationship may not work out and if not is 'your little secret something you would want him to be privy to? In my current relationship (and marriage) we were brutally honest with each other from the beginning and it has worked out great.

Answer 7

What is your problem, is it that bad? Just because you want to build trust does not mean you have to share everything, some things are best kept to yourself, your partner does not need to know everything about you, at this time. Chewing tobacco doesn't seem that big of an issue to me.

Answer 8

Sharing this kind of thing helps with any relationship. It will produce trust, but the question is whether you have the trust to tell him in the first place. Are you scared he will leave you or that he'll share it with other people? If so, work on strengthening your relationship in other ways first!

Answer 9

Someone once gave me great advice about my now-ex: Don't treat your boyfriend like one of your girlfriends. In other words, don't go to him for "does this make me look fat," and "I can't believe that Kimmy went on a date with Brad," and "Should I get the pink or blue headband?" He doesn't care. If he wants to know, he'll ask. Just tell him that you too are going through some stuff, and if he wants to know then he'll ask. You can't force emotional intimacy, it'll come on its own.

Answer 10

could desire to bypass the two way -a shared secret could desire to draw you closer in view which you have something in problem-unfastened that others don't be attentive to approximately, or understanding this secret could desire to worry you or the different individual thereby making use of you aside.