I told him that I was having dreams taht he made a pact with her. He said he did but it was a joke. What do I do?
Basically there emails went like this:
His blah blah, He says he is in a relationship but I drive him crazy and he does not know how much longer it will last (meanwhile he proposed in Sept.) THis email was october.
She says you poor thing blah blah.
He says I am so happy to talk to you how about we make a pac to hook up in 10 years if we are single.
She says I am not that young how about sooner.
He says fine. They talk about me and how crazy he thinks I am. Well I did not think things were this bad.
He claims he was joking with her and that he loves me and wants to marry me. He is always around so I do not believe he is cheating. But I feel so sick just thinking about it and I can't tell him I found it as I was being sneaky. I actually have been having weird dreams which prompted me to start looking. What do I do?
2006-11-14 03:20:18 · 29 answers · asked by Itry 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HONESTLY, YOU SHOULD JUST TELL HIM THAT YOU ACCIDENTALLY FOUND IT AND TAKE IT FROM THERE. YOU REALLY NEED TO DISCUSS THIS WITH HIM CAUSE YOU ARE ENGAGED...AND THAT IS A BIG THING. TRUST ME I KNOW. IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET MY GUY TO MARRY ME FOR 2 YEARS NOW. JUST REMEMBER HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-14 03:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by sherryw_1978 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, so you were a little sneaky. is there a girl out there who's not been a little sneaky? probably not. you need to confront him. first off, i'd be mad because he's making your relationship to sound like it's on the rocks. and if it is, shouldn't you know about that? i mean, since you're engaged and all i'd think you'd be first to know. and if you're driving him so mad, why'd he propose? if he thinks you are crazy, well you just have written proof that you are not. even if he hasn't done the physical act of cheating, he has made plans and i would not wait for him to put them into action. i'm sorry that you're in this position because i've been there before. and these guys will drive you right up the wall and act like you're making the whole thing up, when he's the one who's doing all the lying. but of course, you're the one who's "crazy". my advice to you? get rid of this guy. he will make you feel crazy even though you're only fault is staying with him! good luck!
2006-11-14 05:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by green eyed sole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to get her attention by making you look bad. Not good. By saying negative things about you, he's getting a response out of her. He's not portraying you in a positive light. It's one thing when he's complaining to "the guys", because they're all doing it. It's another when it's a stranger to you. I hate to say it, but I don't think you two are going to make it. I had something similar happen. My ex and I lived together in an apartment. The neighbors next door had a huge tv and everyone would go over to watch games. I didn't go because I had other things going on. My ex would complain about me to all the neighbors all the time. He planted these ideas in their heads that I was a bwitch and control freak. When the neighbors got to know me, they thought I was great! One of the neighbors, who I became quite good friends with, told me all the things he said. When I confronted him, he denied it. Well, the relationship didn't work and his rumors were a contributing factor in that.
2006-11-14 03:37:12 · answer #3 · answered by ☆skyblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell your fiancee that he hurt your feelings. Ask him if he would be ok with you emailing and talking about him to another man. Then tell him he will have to end the friendship with her since he has done so much damage to your relationship with it. If he says he will not then you have your answer it is more than just friendship and you should leave him. If a man proposes to a woman and then continues an awkward relationship with another girl he is disrespectful. Imagine what would happen if you married him.
2006-11-14 03:25:16 · answer #4 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be saying it is a joke but maybe it isn't?! Why would an email be so long if just a joke? I would be leary as well. I would comfront him. If not...have a discussion with him about good and bad things regarding the relationship. Tell him you want to settle any thing that is wrong before the marriage...maybe he would be willing to do that!
2006-11-14 03:22:11 · answer #5 · answered by jessigirl00781 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am sorry to hear he has been talking about you like that. If he loves you so much, he should not have even said anything like that. Maybe he is just trying to get attention from other people. See, some guys do that but out of respect for you, she should not be saying anything bad about you. Gee, I would be mad if I were in your shoes. If he thinks you are so crazy lets see how crazy he is if you leave him!
2006-11-14 03:24:40 · answer #6 · answered by sassygirl2473 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well something is DEFINATELY up on his part. He may always be around now, but it sounds like he is trying real hard to fool around! As hurtful and suspicious as those emails sound I would confront him with them. He should know that you know what he said about you, that he's trying to make dates, and how hurtful the things he said were about you. I mean, if you can't work this out, is the type of man you want to be married to anyways? Really? There WILL BE someone much nicer out there for you!
2006-11-14 03:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by carrieinmich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, if he is true w/his feelings for you, then there shouldn't be any shame in that. Why go talk to another person about your relationship. That will just cause more problems. If you 2 have a problem no one can resolve it, but the 2 of you. I'm sorry to say, but he may be a player. I hope not. Take care.
2006-11-14 03:34:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't spend the rest of your life with this guy if you have any doubt. He's covering his *** because he got caught. A Joke? Right. That's the first thing he could think of. When you're a kid and you get caught doing something, you say it's a joke. Same thing. You deserve better and more mature.
2006-11-14 03:24:36 · answer #9 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is inappropriate that he communicates with an old friend in this manner, much less joking in this fashion. You need to tell him that this type of joking offends you, and that he needs to cut-off ALL communication with her. This might be extreme, but if your fiance truly loves and respects you, he will honor your wishes.
You should pose to him the question of how HE would feel if YOU were writing to an old friend, and joking in the same way.
Honestly, I don't think he was joking. They were clearly flirting.
2006-11-14 03:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by Jack C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋