Is this rude???

Question

My husband's mother is coming to my house for Thanksgiving. I am happy and excited about it. It is just I recently found out that they will be coming over the day before. My mother in law has 9 kids and there are 7 boys. Plus i have a 3 yr old and 7 month old. To keep up with the house work and the meal would be extremely stressful. So I don't want them to come until the day of Thanksgiving. I am preparing the meal by myself which is how I prefer it. I would have just about the entire meal prepared by the time they come(on Thanksgiving). It is only an hour and a half drive. To me, it doesn't matter to them which day they come, but to me it does. With just being around all the kids raises my stress level. Plus, they are young and curious and I can't stand for anyone to be in my kitchen when I am cooking. Do you think it is rude to ask my mother in law to wait until Thanksgiving morning to come over? Do you think she will understand?

Answer 1

i dont think its rude.you have your own way of doing things,its easier.and i know it can be stressful to have kids all over the place.if shell understand who knows but i think you have the right to ask them not to come till that morning.

Answer 2

Hmmm, your mother in law has 9 kids...that doesn't include your husband? This sounds very odd to me, but whatever......
To me, Thanksgiving is a time when all family is welcome and together you celebrate, its not just about cooking one meal, shoving your face full of food and then leaving.......but to you, perhaps it does. Be honest with her, you still have a week to go before the big day, suggest maybe that they come on thanksgiving day and leave the following morning? Is that possible? If you want her there but are too afraid of how you might feel with the crowd, then find your solution. What does your husband think? Did you consider that?
I think that you are lucky to be able to cook your thanksgiving meal at all without your husband's mother wanting to do it at her house.....relax, enjoy it, cook some THE NIGHT BEFORE to reduce the stress level on the big day......there are all sorts of ways to get around it other than telling your husband's mother that you don't want her and her brady bunch at your house until the meal is about to start..to me, that does sound rude...be thankful for what you have, some people out there will be celebrating with a beer and their dog.

Answer 3

It's your house and your holiday too. I learned long ago with my in-laws to put my foot down in regards to holidays. Just remember If they come early this years it has a possiblity of turning into a "Tradition" and you dont want that. Tell her that you have alot of shopping to do the day before and with all the preparations it just would be better if they came the day of. Look you have 2 small kids you dont need to compile an already stressful situation.

Answer 4

Its kinda hard to say, it depends on her personality. Why don't you have your husband talk to her since it is his mom, and just have him ask her if she wouldn't mind coming up the next morning so you can finish the house work and cooking because its too hard with a house full of children. I would think that since she has 9 kids she should be able to understand that

Answer 5

i think you should lighten up and enjoy your family on thanksgiving stop being a controll freak and let your mother in law help you cook th big feast and make the men take the kids to the park or just outside so they wont get in the way your lucky to have so many people in your family some people are not that lucky and will be alone on thanksgiving.get over your self please

Answer 6

yes, kinda

its 3 hours of driving.

I mean if you weren't prepared to have them come over then why invite them.

Imagine how stressed out she must be with the 9 kids.

I would say that they come over the night before later in the PM

go to sleep and enjoy the next day.

you can go to the dollar store and get each of them a gift, and reward them for good behavior.

and you could prepare the food the night before and warm it up.

like greens, potatoes, ect. even the turkey, just marinate and clean it.

And as far as no one in the kitchen, just kick them out.

tell them you can't have all of them in there torturing you so get out. out out out.

and send them on there merry way.

next year you don't have to offer.

but we take turns in our family.

And we set the rules in the beginning, like come over at 6pm
and when desert is served its time to go .

everyone helps clean up.

And my sister in-law uses paper plates.

After all its about giving thanks for family, so couldn't you just sacrifice this one day for a stressed out woman of 9 kids. with 7 boys.

Answer 7

That is how you want it done & I would ask her if she does come over could she keep the kids occupied while your cooking . If not ask her to wait until Thanksgiving Day.

Answer 8

i understand how you feel i am the same way.

BUT

it is pretty rude to me personally if i was her i would be truly offended..

Its only an extra day, how much do you see this woman to begin with? If it is a hour drive i am sure not much.

Just let her come and though it out, its only once a year.

Answer 9

Yes, if you are too stressed to handle it all, don't let them come until Thanksgiving day.

Answer 10

No it is not rude.......not at all....you can explain that you stress but she probably knows this by now.....it's not rude....good Lord....I would freak if someone came to my house with 7 kids while I was trying to prepare a dinner....I'd be taking their butts to McDonald's....and then telling them I wasnt going back to the house, that they could leave from there. Good luck.....

Answer 11

No, its not rude. It's a matter of preference. I would feel the same way myself. I just hope that your MIL is reasonable and would understand. Good Luck!