My step-daughter keeps lieing.....Help me I don't know what to do.?

Question

She has lied and stolen an item from a friend, accused me of not giving her a bath in 5 days, and now accusing her father of abuse. She made all A's this six weeks and we let her go to her granny's w/her brother to spend the night. Before bringing her home she had told them my husband open-handed hit her on the back and there was a mark present. When Granny arrived at our home to drop kids off she told us what had happened. This didn't happen! We are totally against child abuse. We are both divorcee's helping out the other parent by having the kids live with us. We have been waiting and wanting our kids with us. But to have the lieing and it getting worse each time. I wanted to see this mark so I looked with her grandmother and no mark was present. NO MARK! She just told them this story 1 hour before. I believe it was put there on purpose. She is only 8 but I know her mother put her through alot but I don't understand why she is acting as if she wants to go back to her mother. Thanks

Answer 1

Get aggressive counseling for her. Read her the story of the boy who cried wolf. Explain to her, in a loving way, 'how would she feel if her friends and family lied to her'... It would be very sad and lonely if we weren't "there" for each other. Bring all parents involved together and show her that everyone is working together and we all want to trust you. When she steals, make her bring the item back to the owner with you by her side... and let 'her' do the apologizing. Counseling! And maybe go for full custody.
Praying for you!

Answer 2

Pay crucial attention to her, to find out why she's acting this way. If she notices you are watching her, then something should surface. If it is more defiance, then it may just be that she doesn't have you in favor (sorry to say). If she seems to calm, then she just wanted attention.

Have a conversation with her. It's easiest to catch her doing something quietly (drawing, for example) and start by talking about that. Once you get her to talking, slowly turn the conversation towards the subject of her behavior (keyword: SLOWLY; she will never open up if you talk about her behavior outright). You should hear something that will be of help to you.

For each occasion that she lied, there must have been a witness to the actions that took place. Everything that happens in society that breaks a rule has a victim and a perpetrator, and often times has a witness. Hear all parts of the story, and make judgements accordingly. If she realizes that lying gets her nowhere, she will stop.

Answer 3

ALL kids want their mother's regardless of what kind of a mother she is. ESPECIALLY now. Sounds to me as if this little girl is not going to be a "little girl" for much longer. Some of what she is presenting sounds like early puberty. My question is how long has it been since this child was with her mother? Sometimes it's the wanting what you can't have syndrome. Even though she may be aware that her mother isn't a great one she is still her mother. You're not and will never be and (especially at puberty) a girl leans towards her mother no matter WHAT kind of a mother. I suggest a little more patience and understanding, think back to when YOU were going through puberty, was YOUR mother there? Now think of how it must feel to her not having her mother there.

Answer 4

All kids lie. Don't take it personally. She may need some counseling to get over whatever her mother has put her through. Try talking to her (like just the 2 of you, maybe a special outing) and see what she's willing to share with you. This may be just a cry for attention but you won't know until she's ready to open up about what's bothering her.

Answer 5

Right now I am dealing with a son who lies a lot and he also poops his pants . /this all started when his mother took my boys from me and moved to another state . The best thing I have found is discipline . If I catch him lying then I make sure he understands that he is lying . If he refuses then he only gets the basics 1 set of clothes to wear ,1 set of pj's for at nite , ect .ect.I also realize that thier mother lied a lot and made excuses for both of my boys which since getting custody they are starting to realize I won't do that . As a step parent the father should be the one to discipline her though .

Answer 6

I'm going through the same thing with my 8 year old step daughter and the best thing you can do for her is to get her into some kind of family counseling and you and her father and step bro should go too.....its done wonders for my situation hope that helps

Answer 7

any kid would mwant to go back to there mother..even if they know they arnt the better parent. sometimes when you cant see a person it makes you want to long for them more. the lieing is asking for attention shes probally scared and needs some one to talk to. a mother is a mother and no one can take the person away. theres always goin g to be that hole of that person inside you. knowing there bad doesnt seem to matter, its just a place inside they need to put back.

Answer 8

My step daughter lied and stole money from my purse at 8 years old. She was punished and we sat her down and explained how much she hurt me. She's completely stopped lying and stealing. Maybe it was a cry for attention; maybe she just wanted the money. Hopefully it'll get better for you.

Answer 9

she might want to go back to her moms.
i heard a saying the other day
"TO A CHILD THEIR MOTHER IS LIKE GOD"
in other words no matter what their mom does they are still the best in the world and they love them and wan to be with them.

Answer 10

My eight year old son lie all the time to.I take stuff that he like from him until he tell the truth. example.. game,basketball.ect...