Whats your opinion on friends with benefits?

Question

This is the reason that I ask. I havent been in a relationship for many years now. Recently a very good friend of mine has shown interest but he made it clear it was just for sex. Honestly, I dont have a problem with that. I dont want a relationship and neither does he. We're both grown adults and not children. I know there are possibilities of developing feelings for him, and vice versa. But its gotten to the point that I just want to physically be with someone. So my question is this.. Have you ever been in a friends with benefits situation? If so, how did it turn out? And if you're in one right now, how long has it lasted?

Someone made a comment and I wanted to reply to it.. Condoms will always be used. He doesnt want children and neither do I.

Although Im curious, everyone saying that it never works, have you ever been in the situation or is this just what you heard?

Answer 1

Been in that situation a few times. Its good if you both agree thats all it is, although I have been in the situation where it went a little too far and I developed feelings.

Answer 2

It can work as long as you both are up front and know that there is going to be nothing but a strictly sexual thing. You say you are an adult, so I'm not going to ask you the other ques nor am I going to comment on condoms and such. I have been in a relationship where I slept with someone that was a good friend of mine. We still continue to talk when we see each other now as if our relationship was before the sex. However, like I said we both knew what we were getting into in that neither of us wanted a relationship with each other. Be certain before you do this that he wants nothing but sex and be sure in your own head that you also want nothing but sex. If you are feeling and sort of feelings beyond that right now prior to the sex, it won't work because your feelings will develop inevitably beyond sex. It can be a tricky situation so be sure. Because if any kind of feelings develop for either of you beyond sex, it will ruin the friendship you have now.

Answer 3

You're not in a committed relationship with anyone else. Is he? If not, then go for it. As you said, you're adults. I've known a good many people who've done exactly as you suggest, and I've been there myself. Every time but one, it worked out just fine. The one time was when the woman lied to me about her marital status. That lasted about five months until I learned she was married to another who happened to be a worker on an offshore oil platform, which job kept him away from her five months at a time. She was basically cheating on him with me. And although the action with her was some of the best I've ever experienced, I was furious with her for the lie.
If I were to have the opportunity once more to have a friendship with benefits, I'd do it. I'd make darn sure she was protected, but would prefer she be on the pill; condoms just don't do it for me. Good luck, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

Answer 4

Friends with benefits, normally always starts the way you just described. The problem that follows is that one of you will become interested in the other eventually. Some times that can work out, but most of the time someone just ends up with another heart break. That's how it happened for me and a very close friend. I just wasn't into him like that and now we don't even talk. What ever you decide, just be careful.

Answer 5

I think that it is not a good idea because the longer it goes on the more likely it is that one of you will begin to want more of a relationship... plus at some point one of you will meet someone else and be in a committed relationship... when the subject of previous partners comes up I would never want to hear from a woman I loved that she was not really in a relationship... she just kind of "did" this one guy from time to time. And yes, this is from my own personal experience. If you want to do something once and a while with someone then play racquetball or something... sex is more important... and should be treated with more respect.

Answer 6

I think that friends with benefits no matter what age you are is a bad idea. No relationship is worth having only for sex typically making it into a physically makes the relationship worse because then you become connected to that person. There will be lots of jealousy when you begin to have a real relationship because you have been physically with your friend. I know it is hard and you just want sex but you need to resist. Sex is only fo rthe person you marry it is a sin to sleep with others and not be bound to them in marriage. I don't know exactly how old you are but just wait until you do get married it is worth it.

Answer 7

I have a very good friend that just got out of a "friends with benefits" relationship that lasted them about 2 years. He developed feelings for her and started to show those feelings for him and she crushed him like a grape. She never had the same feelings for him and when he put it out there on the line, she made it very clear that he would never be anything more to him than just a physical release. Be careful, because if you let your emotions get involved you are setting yourself up for a lot of hurt.

Answer 8

I had a friends with benifits relationship that had to be ended several years ago. We we tried dating until we realized we had absolutely nothing in common except incredible chemestry. We would specifically pick out movies to go to that neither of us wanted to see, because we couldn't agree on a movie and needed an excuse to get her out of her house so we could make out.

I got a little attached, though, and she broke it off for a little while. We chatted online, and she moved about six hours drive away for college. She had a boyfriend that she would brag about constantly, how good he was in bed, how much they had in common, how he treated her, etc, and I congratulated her. Then one day I had to drive through the place she lived for something, and I had an extra three days in the trip, I asked if I could crash on her couch. Her answer was yes. When I showed up, the couch was covered in stuff, and I was told in no uncertain terms I was not to move any of it. The spare bedroom had no bed, but I rolled out my sleeping bag, to which she asked what I was doing, and explained that if I wanted to sleep on a floor, I could get a room... she'd broken up with her boyfriend that day because she decided it would be a waste to have me so close, and not relive the best sexual experiences of her life.

At that point, I was seeing two other girls casually, so I was in no danger of becomming attached, but she started to. I think the conversation that ended it was after she introduced me as her "boyfriend," and I didn't correct her. I asked her what she meant by it when we got back to her house (I only saw her about every third weekend, we weren't exclusive by a long shot, and we still had nothing in common.) It was a short talk, no fighting, but things only lasted about two more visits, in which time whenever she'd introduce me by saying, "This is Sean, I'm his sex slave." The only problem was our "benifits" included everything except sex. She never really did complain about anything openly, though. I backed off thinking she was angry, and since I never called her she never called me, and we just drifted apart.

Was it a good thing? Yeah, it was. There were several "firsts" on both sides, and it was less intimidating than a relationship. Still, I have regrets about it. I wish we had been couple material and able to give a real relationship a try, even if it hadn't worked out, and I wish that we hadn't lost track of each other. If we hadn't had the benifits, we might have stuck together as friends longer. But I guess you never really know.

Answer 9

It usually doesnt work out cause there are feelings involved, and usually someone gets hurt in the process. If you want to risk losing this friend, then go for it. If you want to keep them as a friend, then sex should not be involved. In the beginning you think I can do this just for fun, but in the end you become to emotionally entangled. Maybe you'd want to try it with someone you just met, just not the very good friend.

Answer 10

Personnaly I have not-- so I can only tell you in my many years of life that EVERYONE I know who has purued this kind of relationship always wishes they had not. It usually ruins the friendship and causes so many complex issues between the two persons involved. Sex is a very personal strong bond and if you attach and detach to different people you usually lose the "magic" and have a very hard time attaching to a lifetime mate. Like a piece of tape that has been stuck and pulled off several times- it loses it's ability to stick when it eventually needs to.