Do you think birth order effects the way you are as a person?

Question

I was watching a program on channel 5 and they said that the order your born in your family, first born, second born etc can effect you later in life. Do you thing it does? Can you answer the following questions please.


1) In your family are you the oldest, middle, youngest or an only child?
2) Do you aim to please your parents?
3) Did you feel you were unfairly treated by your parents?
4) We're you spoilt?
5) Did you go off the rails?

Answer 1

1) oldest
2) yes- always have... but with my mom, feel I never made her happy no matter how well I did in school or in life
3) yes by my mom. She abused me mentally and emotionally and sometimes physically... not my younger siblings though. She is WAY more laid back with my youngest brother.
4) No, I wasn't spoiled... I had to work (clean- long lists of chores) every day and sometimes would get $$ for doing it, other times not... I was also the babysitter of my two younger brothers, so I grew up fast at 13. There were many times I just wanted to play and even be alone, but was forced to babysit.
5) never. I could have turned out to be a horrible person from what all my mom did to me. however, I turned my life around for the better, and know i will NEVER treat any of my children the way she was with me- my mom still treats me badly at times and I'm an adult now. She made a huge scene about my son's first b-day not too long ago because it wasn't the location she wanted it to be... even mentioned she didn't want to be "around" anymore because of it all- and it was all my doing. nice huh? I changed the plans to please her... and it helped, but it REALLY upset me because that day was supposed to be about my son... not her. I cry a lot because all I've ever wanted was to be close with my mom. But even to this day she does these things, and it's really hard on me at times. But I am better now because I have my son to worry about, and I am the MOM here now, so I know I'm giving him all the love I possibly can.

Another thing about my mom- and my two younger brothers- the middle one.... she favors a lot. He was always in the high school plays- the lead... and I was super happy for him... well, one time she had the nerve to say, "Oh you are just jealous of him." Now why in the world would she say something like that? I love my brother, and there has never been any jealousy.

My youngest brother gets away with anything... and he's still sleeping in her bed (he's 11), and I think that's very bad parenting. She's way more relaxed with him- lets him eat all kinds of junk too which isn't healthy.

So, all i will get from all of this is that I know for a fact I will treat all of my children the same when I have more- not the way my Mom did with us.

My parents also divorced- my mom wanted it of course after being married almost 25 yrs! I feel I take more after my dad- he's the sweetest guy I know.

Answer 2

1. I am the 5th of 6 children
2. I no longer aim to please my parents. I spent my youth doing that but nothing I ever did was good enough.
3. I was absolutely unfairly treated by my parents and still am. i did all the cooking for the whole family from the age of 13 till I left home at 22 but never once were they grateful. I cooked the first time to surprise them but after that it was expected every day.
4. I was not spoilt - I was neglected but we all were to some extent.
5. I never went off the rails. I am a calm, collected thinker and I simply put more energy into getting out and making my own life, which I managed to do very well without them.

I don't know if this confirms the theories but i think the fact that my parents were only 16/17 when they had their first child and 24/25 when they had all 6 of us had a huge impact on us all. They had not grown up themselves and rowed a lot. Ironically they are still together and 4 of us have been divorced several times.

Answer 3

1) I am the oldest
2) I suppose I did in a way.
3) Not at all.
4) Not spoilt, but never wanted for anything
5) Not really.

I can evidence of what you are saying in my children.

My Son spent the first 3 years of his life where nothing went wrong and nobody hurt him. He was a happy, easy going baby.

My daughter was born when my son was 2 and a half, and he ignored her for 6 months, but when she started to crawl he started to pull her hair, and tell her she is bad.

Now at the age of 2 and a half my daughter, although quite a happy child, is prone to tantrums, and get wound up very easily. Because we have made her brother apologised to her whenever he hurt her, she will now say "Sorry Mummy" for the slightest thing.

Answer 4

I was the first born.
I don't really, nor did I ever, care what my parents think.
I wasn't treated unfairly, per se, but I was left with a lot more responsibility than a child should have had. I was the one taking care of my younger sisters. That bothered me.
I was no where near the neighborhood of spoiled.
I didn't go off the rails. I was down to earth, serious and I got down to business.

Answer 5

I'm the baby and when I was younger I did the opposite of what my parents wanted and now I do everything they expect.When I was younger it always felt like they were picking on me when really they weren't the only reason i got the negative attention was cause I was a rotten teen. And I've always been spoilt I'm the baby it's part of the jog description. And I'm sorry I'm not really sure what #5 means.

Answer 6

1) Eldest of two
2) Yes
3) No
4) Don't think so
5) No

I think the order sometimes does have a bearing because all the families I know who have three kids say the eldest has too many expectations put on them - 'You are the eldest one, you should set a better example to your brothers/sisters'. The youngest one is always the little baby, even when they are 35 years old. The middle one is always the black sheep of the family, receiving much less attention than the youngest and expected to be as good/clever as the eldest one.

Answer 7

Theyve done studies and have found that birth order has a lot to do with peoples personalities.

Iam the oldest
every child aims to please their parents, no matter what they say
every child feels they were unfairly treated by their parents, its part of beign an ungreatful child
i wasnt spoiled.
i dont know what you mean by go off the rails.

Answer 8

I think it's true - I see it when I look at all families.

1 - I am an only child
2 - yes, I'm a perfectionist, I try to please everyone, I work harder than I should at everything
3 - I don't think I was unfairly treated, I think they were way too overprotective
4 - spoiled to this day lol
5 - No, I think I got in trouble once or twice lol that's it

Answer 9

I am the youngest of 4.
I aimed to please my parents to an extent though I didnt always succeed.
I was treated fairly by my parents but not by my brothers or sister.
I was spoilt by my dad
Yes I went off the rails for a time in my teens to early 20's.

My problems were not with my parents but resentment from my brothers mainly.

xx

Answer 10

I think it does. To answer your questions:
1- oldest
2 - yes, always have
3 - No
4 - No
5 - No, my mom wouldn't allow it!!

I only have one younger sister (4 years younger). I have always had a confident air about myself, whereas, my sister does not. But my sister had way more friends than I did growing up. I was a little more "snobbish" (I've been told). She liked to go places with her friends, I preferred staying home. Luckily, my parents did not show favoritism at all.