Tell me a good book on how to talk to people so that they stay out?

Question

of your PERSONAL BUSINESS WITHOUT BEING RUDE!!! I HAVE TO BOOK, Which has helped...WHEN I SAY NO, I FEEL GUILTY.....

Answer 1

Try the self help section at borders. I have read a couple of book that deal with some issues like these but not 100 percent specific to your problem. Robin Norwood wrote a great book for women on why we end up people pleasing men and its called "Women who love too much".

On a personal note I have this problem alot recently and I make it a point to concentrate on fixing this problem on a daily basis b/c it is ruining my life. Steps to take include: Do not tell others your business. Find one person you can trust (perhaps a trusted friend, or therapist ) and talk to only them about your business. Stop feeling guilty, you are a person and your needs should come before others( be more aggressive). Don't apoligize for the tuth or add but to any situation. Lastly realize that you cannot please everybody all of the time and you should spend more time pleasing yourself.

Things to do: Stay away from needey people! They will always need your help, they always ask b/c you say yes or always try yo help out . Realize that some are needy b/c they didn't take care of their business in the first place. I had to so this last week with my aunt and uncle. My younger cousin is suffering form a life threating brain tumor and requires out of town treatment. I have driven them three hours away at the expense of my family, health, etc. They needed to go again this week for treatment my car is on one leg and the starter is going out, they were willing to drive wether I am with them or not if my car held up or not. I said no, felt bad and moved on. I am a single parent and my car is everthing to me, if they wrecked it they wouldn't help me and why should I expect them too if they can't afford to keep their own cars running.

Second, I have learned to stop telling people my business. They will always offer unsolicited advice or things you don't want to hear (sometimes the truth). Sometimes people also having a way of using things against you. Example , I told my sister of how my emotionally/mental abusive boyfriend talks to me. In the background of our conversation her boyfriend made a smart *** comment about how my sister was behaving like my boyfriend. When my sister apologized for his behavior I then found out they he was also in my knew my business and was making fun of me. I now only deal w/ trusted friends who are willing to keep my business my business.

Answer 2

I dont think you need a book to tell you how to feel. You have to just be up front with people. Seems you lack the confidence to stand up for yourself. If people are meddling in your affairs, tell them straight up to BUT OUT!! Who ever is doing this knows that they can get away with it since you havent showed them you can stand up for yourself. Until you speak up, they will continue to get into your business. So grow some balls and Speak up and watch their reaction. Good Luck

Answer 3

First of all, you shouldn't feel guilty about telling them to mind their own business. They are the ones being rude by being nosy, so it's not that big of a deal to tell them to butt out.
Just respond to personal questions and comments with things like "I don't feel comfortable answering that" or "I don't want to talk about it."
This isn't about etiquette, it's about self esteem and asserting yourself. You shouldn't allow people to walk all over you.
But here are the results from Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_13/002-3822277-6848058?ie=UTF8&rh=n%3A1000%2Cp%5F26%3ANew%2Cn%3A10%2Cn%3A4736%2Cn%3A4746&page=1

Answer 4

I once saw a book called complete Idiot's guide to verbal self defence by Lilian J. Glass

http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-Verbal-Self-Defense/dp/0028627415

I got hold of the pirated ebook but didn't get around to reading it. Anyways, I remember, The first line in preface was like, You are not an idiot! blah blah.

Answer 5

Try alot of dr phils books those books should be able to help and I hope that i have helped . good luck and god bless and happy thanksgiving.

Answer 6

Go find a professional therapist to help you deal with your self esteem issues.

Answer 7

say something like, "it's okay guys. i can handle it." you have to learn these things from personal experience...good luck!

Answer 8

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