My fiance wants me to choose him or my family????

Question

I have a nine years old little brother and a mom that has custody of him and she is a user or methamphetamines I am extremely uncomfortable with my brother living with her and I would like to move close to him so he can stay with me a lot more or maybe even live with me but my fiance does not want me to move back close to where im from because i also struggled with addiction and he thinks that being there could pressure me!! I live an hour away from my brother and my mom wont let him live with me!! Im 19 so i cant get custody and i dont want to lose my fiance what do i do???

Answer 1

some people are born with an addictive nature you have gotten it from your mother.. the best thing fo you to is get your mother help.. if shes on meth it is not a good place for your brother to be.. I might suggest speaking to the police about your mothers situation a your concern for your brothers well being.. the police will make things happen.. There are other options for you than just moving.. I can see your boyfriends concern , He cares alot about you. He is not being controlling just looking out for you.. Trust in god to lead you he will show you the path.. I am not being all religious but really sometimes you have to ask the powers that be for the answers.. follow your heart although you may not want your mother to be put in prison or jail sometimes it is the best place for a person to get off the junk an get their heads straight.. she may thank you later..

Answer 2

If you struggle with addiction you need to stay away from the triggers, in this case your mother. As for you brother, this is decision you and your fiance need to make together. If you are truly serious about his safety and well being you need to contact your local authorities and find out how to persue this. It will take time and a ton of effort on your behalf. Have you talked with your brother about this, how does he feel? If mom is an addict and you can provide a stable, safe environment (& make sure your brother goes to school and does well) you may have some solid grounds for having him live with you, far from mom. Good Luck, everyone should have a big sister that is as concerned as you.

Answer 3

Is your fiancee making you chose between your little bother and himself? If he is, lose the fiancee. At 19 you are too young to take on that kind of pressure (not to mention commitment). Then called your state's child services and tell them about your mom. They will remove your brother from that atmosphere and tell you what you need to do to get custody. You may have to get a job and a place of your own for a certain amount of time and prove you are a responsible adult prepared to take over the responsibility of raising your brother. Believe me, your state would prefer he be with you instead of foster care and they will help you in any way they can.

Answer 4

Would your mom let you take him out for a day of play, such as on Saturday? Then in a couple of weeks maybe you could suggest that he spend the night with you? Then maybe an entire weekend? The idea is to move into it gradually and get you mom used to the idea of him spending time with you. And really, living any closer to her might not be the best idea either. This way you can get him far enough away from her for short times that she can't change her mind and come pick him up too easily.

Answer 5

I think you should go talk to someone at CPS....... your little brother needs to be out of there, and CPS will usually try to place a child with family, after investigating to be sure it's a good placement. You didn't say if the fiance is willing to help with the child, just that he doesn't want you back in temptation. You can change that "mom won't let" to "mom has no choice". Do whatever it takes to get him out of there, and don't give up. Good luck.

Answer 6

At 19 years old, further the education, forget the fiance, as for you.... get a degree, start a career, than go for custody... right now you don't have a leg to stand on.... I hope your mom is a good woman regards what you say of her... make ammends, if this possible, every girl needs a mom...

Answer 7

You've come to that point in life where you are between a rock and a hard place. For me, the answer is very simple ,because I'm not in your shoes. Family is, for me, a sacred institution. Family comes first, second, third.... I can always get some other fiancee. Where will you find another family? What if the guy dumps you? I think It's petty of him to think only of himself in your time of need. What about me?, he's thinking. Find some person who can support you when the chips are down.

Answer 8

can you get your mom to get into rehab? Do you have any older relatives that could take custody of you brother? If not you might contact your local SRS office for more help. I think your fiance may be right about you moving back. That could be tough for you. Good luck, I hope you find help for your mom & brother.

Answer 9

Well, you can get custody..as long as you have a stable residence and a job and have no criminal record ( as in felonies)..
The Child Protective Services will not let a Meth Head raise a child, if they even get word about it..
and it is your brither, if you show interest in him and his welfare, they will let you have the opportunity to care for him..

Do you really want your little brother growing up in that kind of abusive and neglectfull environment..
I know and have seen what Meth use causes people to do and be reduced to..get him out now before its too late and he is damaged for life, hurt, or even killed...

Answer 10

Family is all you have sometimes. You need to do wats right for your brother. If your fiance really loves you and you really love him you will take care of the family needs, and not go back to the drugs, he will see what a strong caring person you are and have s deeper love for you. Love will see its way through this if it is meant to be. He will see how dedicated to family you are and realize not all people are this way, and that you will be dedicated to your own family in the future if your relationship will endure.