Both of us had major surgeries, during recovering period we really needed some help. None was available. Whenever our children needed help we let them move back home , no questions asked.
2006-11-14 01:34:13 · 9 answers · asked by mimi 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think that you and your spouse need to talk this out yourselves. I don't think this is something people on Answers can help you with.
We don't know the whole situation, and the reasons behind why they weren't there for you in your time of need. Things like jobs, families, and other responsibilities can't always be put aside to do the things you want. They may have wanted to be there for you two, but just couldn't.
We don't know if this is a recurring problem of them being selfish, or if it was a one time event. Like if they have a pattern of disappearing when you need their help, or if they try to be there for you. Or even something as simple as their ages, like if they are still young enough that they could grow out of their self involved behavior, or if they are mature adults who should know better.
And also the reasons why they are the way they are. Were they encouraged to be that way by you two when you were rasing them, did they pick up the behavior from selfish friends at work or school, or did they get married and their spouse lets them always get their way?
There is just too much information we don't know, and can't even to begin to guess at.
Talk it out between yourselves, and see what your first instinct is. The first reaction is usually the right one. Maybe not right for them, but it will probably be what makes you two the happiest.
I think that if you want to cut them out of your will, you should do it with a lawyer to help insure they can't fight it. Many wills get contested after a person's death, so you want to protect your interests after you and your spouse are gone. If you don't have anyone in mind to leave your estate to, leave it to charity. There are so many good causes out there that would make good use of the legacy you two have built up.
2006-11-14 01:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can leave it to whom ever you like but, think about it long and hard.
don't make any ridiculous decisions out of resentment and anger.
FYI- you are the parents.
they are the children.
you chose to bring them in this world
you taught them everything they know or don't know.
and incase you were wondering, if they have families them selves, how did you propose they care for you.
Can you have afforded to pay a nurse. do they know you can afford a nurse.Can they afford to take time off from children and work to care for you? did you offer to financially assist them during this time they were caring for you?Would their spouses have been able to care for the children, home, and bills without you childs assistance. What about the school for the children, or would they bring them to your house?
Did you actually ask them to help you out?
or were you just hoping they would offer?
did you give them ample time to make arrangements and plans.
if so spend your money on that, and enjoy the rest of your life.
no need to save it, enjoy it.
2006-11-14 01:42:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typical self-sacrificing parents and selfish children scenario. They will probably understand when they become parents.
Leave your estate to whoever you feel deserves it. If you have grandchildren, do what's best for them.
2006-11-14 01:50:48 · answer #3 · answered by EllisFan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave your estate to anyone who doesn't deserve it. It sounds like you were good parents to your children and they sound like selfish brats. Leave it to someone deserving, donate it to charity or leave it to your grandchildren for when they come of age (if you have any). Sorry to hear your kids wouldn't help you.
2006-11-14 01:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by CamKeeTai 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is upto u as to what u want to do with ur property. The fact, however, remains that in case u do not decide the fate of the property while u r still mentally and physically competent to do so. If not, it will necessarily go them.
2006-11-14 01:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are free to leave your estate to anyone you wish. If you think they are uncaring and they'll just abuse the money, contact your lawyer and have your will setup so that your estate goes to your charity of choice.
2006-11-14 01:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what their reasons were.
Do they have families that they have to be there for? Do they have jobs that would not give them time off? Do they have spouses that wouldn't let them come? Or do they just not care about you?
2006-11-14 01:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't leave it all to my indifferent kids - i would find some great charities and donate most of the money now so they cannot contest it when you are gone.
2006-11-14 01:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by livetall1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If they don't deserve it, then don't leave it to them. Do they have children? Leave it all to the grand children.
2006-11-14 01:44:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋