How do you get over the loss of a boyfriend to cancer?

Question

Long Story short, my boyfriend is dying of cancer, and last night decided to give up fighting. It feels like I just finally found that one person I could spend the rest of my life with, and now i'm going to lose him....

Answer 1

Sorry to hear that. Stay by your family and maybe try grief counseling.
Always keep you eyes on God and cherish what time you have left with him now. Be strong for him.

Answer 2

I am very sorry to hear of your grief. I would say while you might think it is selfish for your boyfriend to give up the fight, you should also consider how hard it is on him to go thru the pain and just the thought of himself leaving his loved ones behind. I am sure he doesn't want to leave you no more than you don't want him too. My advice would be to spend as much time with him as possible, but don't talk about the cancer, talk about your lives, make a scrapbook together of all the memories you share. Heck even make a section for future trips. Tell him that you love him and pray every day that he gets better, tell him that he is not alone in his fight. To kick cancer's ***!!! We all need a hero when it comes to cancer. It takes too many great people from us. If however, he can't fight any longer, then just help him as much as you can, let him know that you will be fine and you will always love him. Then if God takes him home, you will need to ask God to comfort you, because no matter what we all tell you on here, or what a grief counselor tells you, God is the only one that can provide lasting comfort. God Bless you and my prayers are with you both!

Answer 3

I am truly sorry for what you and your boyfriend are experiencing. There are no easy answers for either of you, as you are aware. I found some comfort in reading materials about death & dying. A website I liked is 'towardthelight.org' and info. on that site changed my perception about dying. Being there for him must be the most challenging endeavor in your life--the info. I read talked about the process of dying from the ill person's perspective and suggested things like keeping your discussions focused on the present, not talking about the future, real world concerns (like bills, etc.). You also need people who can be supportive of you and ensure your needs are being met. Don't feel guilty that you also have needs. Hospital staff members often mean well, but sometimes make statements that are so off the mark. They often tell you that the dying person 'will always be there' (whatever that is suppose to mean) and in a sense he will always be a part of you, but as you are aware it's not the same as sharing a life here on earth. Other than finding reading material and ensuring a support system is in place, I have no advice to offer you. Rely on other people at this time though, and don't try to be this independent person who needs no one else. You will be stronger and more able to cope as time moves on....but for now stay in the present, do what you can, and realize there are limits to what you can accomplish. I read a quote that helped me..."Being strong is not trying to hold on, but being able to let go...Unknown author."

Answer 4

be strong an look to your family for strenght.. if your family is not supportive i suggest church. sometimes a church will help heal an bring better understanding to the lose of a loved one.. if these do not work i suggest doing what you did before you met him.. You go out with your female friends an go clubbing get your dance on an some drinks in your system ... just have a good time..
as for the boyfriend quiting an not attempting to fight for his life.. If he was not man enough to fight for his life then he would have never been man enough to support you or a family .. No offense but if i were you i would go out an search for some strong qualities in a man that you would like your children to have so later on in life you won't have to deal with your children dying of cancer or worse ..

Answer 5

I'm so sorry!
Evidently we can not feel the physical pain or emotional one he is feeling.It must be UNBEARABLE.
If there is nothing else left for medicine to do ,accept his will.
It sounds so unfair but it is the way he wants it.
I'm sure your family and friens support you.
why don't you to to someone in your church or look for a support group?
I hope his decision gives him peace for his last days and that you to can find a little peace in knowing he will rest,he must be tired of all the fighting the decease!.
Try praying!

Answer 6

I lost my husband to cancer 7 years ago. About two weeks before he died, he said he was ready to go. I asked him about it, and the acceptance factor was remarkable.
I could say that "he will always be with me" and that would sound corny, but I will always have the good (and bad) memories.
And I am now happily remarried to a wonderful man.

I am very sorry you have to go through this. I know it is hard, but remember, your love for him will be the best gift you could ever have given him in his life!

Answer 7

Spend all the moments you can with him. Go to a support group.they work wonders.there is great support online @ www.acscsn.org. they have different groups for different cancers. Don't forget to grieve. He will be close at heart with the memories you two have made.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry for you... You never "get over" something like this, just try and remember the good times. Time does really heal all wounds,(as horrible as that may sound). Keep him close to your heart...always, and you will be alright.

Answer 9

some things like that are very difficult and the best i can tell you is that its hard to get over it the easiest path to getting over it is acceptance of that there is someone far greater than us with a divine plan for all of us.sorry for ur loss.

Answer 10

I'm sorry about you situation... what i have to say is that everyone dies... you might not be able to work through the thoughts of waht happened but you have find happiness for youself.. i dobt this guy would like to see you sad for the rest of your life cause of him.. you have to accept the fact that he finds this is the best for him . if you really love him you should be able to accept that and move on.