eg, get dressed, brush his teeth etc he gets so rude and tells me not to speak to him, stop telling him what to do and even that he hates me. It hurts me to say but alot of the times i feel like i don't like him and if this is what he is saying at 7 what am i going to be in for when he is older? How do I deal with this? I know he sounds like a rude brat but he is actually a smart, gifted, well mannered child and i love him dearly, i just don't know how to deal with this behaviour other than sending him to his room and threats of grounding him as well as trying to talk to him about his behaviour. His younger brother is picking up his bad habit of back chatting. Any sensible advice would be great.
2006-11-14 01:14:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Something you said about threats stuck out. Idle threats may be what is contributing to his behaviour. He knows you won't follow through with the punishment because you only threaten him. If he does something wrong you have to punish him, not threaten him with punishment. He is smarter than you think he knows what he can get away with. Start taking things away, toys, tv, outtings. He knows what he can get away with and he is pushing all your buttons.
2006-11-14 01:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only solution is punishment, not threat. You must establish that certain behaviours result in certain consequences. Grounding may be effective until you find that he would rather be in his room than anywhere else because of his toys, games, t.v., etc. I watched a perfect example of this on BBC Prime where parents were dealing with disobedient children. Draw up a set of rules about proper behaviour around the house: dont be restrictive eg. "No swearing!". Instead try advising eg, "please speak respectfully to adults." When these rules are ignored, take away any one of his privileges. Tell the child he will be able to regain his lost privilege when YOU see a positive change in his behaviour. A lost privilege could be defined as a confiscated favourite t.v. game, decrease in pocket money, taking his bedroom door out, etc. If bad behaviour persists, keep taking away a privilege after every "offense". Dont worry about him in an "empty room" scenario: he will decide if he wants to continue to sleep between bare walls or be nice to Mommy. Remember: try always to be calm and composed when taking privileges or disciplining, or your child may think that you are robbing him of his favourite things just to hurt him. Always show you care. Love begets love.
2006-11-14 01:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by Daanyaal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot believe how many of you young mothers (I am 60 and have raised three boys and four grandkids) are having trouble disciplining your kids. You say that he is smart and gifted, and I believe that he is - he has your number. Kids this age have to be disciplined, and it is perfectly fine to correct them in an unpleasant way. You are obviously not happy with your situation, so here is what I recommend. When he talks back to you, in a calm (not raised) voice, tell him that you are going to spank him if he doesn't do whatever it is that you want him to do (give him a realistic time limit). If he is rude, immediate punishment is in order. Get a paddle (a ping pong paddle works great) and apply about three licks to his backside (you may have to have help here). When you get through with the punishment, tell him in a calm voice to get done what you asked in the first place. If he doesn't or he back talks you, go through the paddling again (and I mean a paddling - not a love pat), but add one additional lick. In a calm voice, tell him to get it done or you will add another lick until he takes care of business. DO NOT give up until you have broken his back talking, and he is performing the duties that you have asked him to do. After each spanking (and it will take more than one), hug him, and tell him that you love him. It is imperative that you get the upper hand now - if you don't, you have another one right behind him to give you misery. This is not an easy thing to do, but you MUST!! Good luck and God bless you on applying the rod where it belongs.
2006-11-14 01:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
okay as much as i hate to say it, Dr Phil says .......... ( LOL ) children earn the toys and tv's and all the nice things in their life, they don't get them as a given.
If your son is not nice and will not do as asked empty his room out of all but his bed and his clothes and when he is sent to his room he has nothing to do there. If he is good let him have some books in there, if he is bad out they come.
He doesn't hate you! A seven year old does not have the capacity to hate, he only copies what he hears. Not many people really can ever hate their mum, although it hurts a heap when they act like they do.
Act like a mother and not a friend, ( i think this is one mistake i made with my kids ) and have respect for him as well as expecting him to have it for you. Treat both children the same no matter what the age, treats given when deserved and taken away when misbehaivour comes.
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we ever have to do, but my sons turned out to be good young men and I did most of the raising alone.
Good luck I now work with kids so I know what they can be like. Some just drive you crazy. When you think you don't like him find a cute baby pic of his and think of the good times:)
2006-11-16 14:30:37 · answer #4 · answered by sandiemay01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im Only thirteen and not a mother but i have a younger brother who i for a few years had to look after him, what i found was good was that i could make things fun for him, like when he brushed his teeth get a cool toothbrush and ake it a racew can brush their teeth the fastest, thing like that, or fun dinner, something in the sort
Good luck!
2006-11-14 01:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by Chiinny. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good swat on the butt when he talks back. Another effective way to stop the back chat is soap in the mouth when he talks nasty to you. You also said you give him threats of grounding. You are talking the talk. But until you walk the walk he will not change. Ground the boy.
2006-11-14 01:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by WyoHunter 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well there are several things to try.
When he starts talking to you like that walk away from him
Talk to a Dr about this
smack his mouth
calmly ask him why he is so angry
pay attention to what is going on just be fore he goes to bed a night. If children are stressed before going to bed they are more prone to wake up grouchy and angry.
2006-11-14 01:20:14 · answer #7 · answered by hummingbird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that your the mother and that he is not going to talk to talk to you like that, and what you tell him to do he is to do it. Put your foot down be the mama, stop trying to be his friend.
2006-11-14 06:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son was that way. i asked him for advice for things he didn't know. he finally figured out he wasn't so smart after all. he grew out of it.
2006-11-14 01:20:19 · answer #9 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋