Hase any one got trouble with a bad temper?

Question

And if so how do you control it i am open to any tips
I have also been told by my doctor that i have depprshion

Answer 1

Yes, I've had a problem with this myself. Altering the way you deal with things will only happen over time. If you think about it, you've reacted a certain way all your life so changing things around will take time and patience (which of course is something you don't have!! Don't worry, the irony was not lost on me either!)

First of all, accept the things you cannot change. In my experience there are a lot of árseholes out there, certain friends of mine will always be very money oriented and my first marriage did not work out. I no longer fight it, I accept it.

This is going to sound like self-help book bull but when someone is mean to you, or does something to fundamentally upset you, respond with a smile and with kindness. It really throws them which is amusing and which in turn makes you less angry.

When it comes to interpersonal relationships (i.e. wife/husband/mum/dad) have a mental look at your previous arguments and see how they went. Do you labour on a point relentlessly? If so, did it get you anywhere? Have you ever recorded yourself having an argument? Do you look "sane" and rational? Chances are that you don't. When you are having a 'heated discussion' stick calmly to the one point you are debating and don't let it become a list of everything that person ever did to annoy you. And remember, once you raise your voice your point is invalid.

Answer 2

Get counselling, for the short term i would recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) it helps with the way you think, and see things that happen, It will also open the way to deal with any thing that may be causing the anger. Time out is a good way, tell the people most close to you about the fragile way that you are feeling so that when you feel yourself getting to the point of no return you give them a sign(say putting up your hand) then you go out of the situation to calm down, clear your head and think rationally. Antidepressant can be brilliant but you will need to stick with them, it may take a few times before they get the right one for you, and even then it can take up to 6 weeks to get into your system, and may make you feel a little ill for the 1st week, but they are worth it if you need them-it is not a weakness, it is a illness, a pr oven chemical imbalance in the brain. Even if your Dr does put you on pills, still get counselling, so you don't bottle things up.

Answer 3

Depression can be just an inappropriate use of anger, for instance, if we are angry about something and repress it, and keep on repeating this behaviour, then we can become unable to express any anger. This is not healthy, and can lead to depression. However, being angry all the time is not healthy either, its about finding a balance, and looking for appropriate reaction to the stimulus. For example, there are times when being very angry is appropriate but not over the little stuff. I think that if you are feeling out of control then you may have a problem in expressing your anger approptiately, and so you build up like a volcano and then blow - when you don't need to. It comes down to being honest with yourself and with others, and not being afraid to tell someone calmly when they have upset you. Then you can avoid getting to the point where you lose your temper.

I hope this helps

Answer 4

Hi there,
It's kind of scary isn't it? Losing control of our emotions is not much fun, but there are ways to control these outbursts if you're willing to have a go. Please don't dismiss this, but Yoga and relaxation classes do help !
My husband has a very short fuse, and he became very unhappy with things too, so someone suggested Yoga, he signed up for some classes and he's now able to take a deep breath...and think before he reacts ! It has really helped him, so why not give it a go ?
You're not alone, there are so many things around us that make us all angry, all you need is a way of learning how to deal with those feelings.
At least you're aware of your emotions, and that is a good start.
Good luck, wish you all the best .

Answer 5

HI,

I have been diagnosed with Cyclothymia after 30 years of suffering (mainly the people around me), I was originally diagnosed with depression, then with manic depression, now the above. (basically I am charming one minute and your worst nightmare the next)

See a Psycologist, be very careful about taking drugs (prescription) you are offered, (I am still not very well, but alot better than when I was on the drugs).

Normal depression can make you irritable, hence aggressive, the most practical advice I can give you is too avoid situations and people who probably do deserve a good kicking, but it really won't help you by doing it.

Ultimately we are responsible for our actions, no matter how ill we are, I have given up a lot just to avoid situations that I Know I cannot trust myself in (and it does feel very unfair)

My diagonise is of a chronic illness, I will die with it and their is a good chance it will be the cause of my death. Don't get me wrong when I say suck it up and get on with your life, seek help and support, give the most wierd suggestions a try, but keep going even if its without your partner, home or job like I have been at times.

Answer 6

Yes, lots of times , people who have cut me up in a car usually get the worst end of it. but i have walked out t of 2 jobs after having a "flip" over something someone has said which could have been handled better by me.
I can not really control mine as i do just flip and have no warning at all, but i know i am worse when i am hungry or tired so i try and get a lot of sleep and eat well, i also seem to be happier when i have done some sort of exercise.
I did find st john worts good, but i had to stop them because i am on the pill, Kalms also worked ok

Answer 7

Count to 10 take deep breaths
Try to put whatever has upset you into context - for example, if it is something minor, like the computer is going wrong, think of someone you who has been or was seriously ill i.e cancer or something.

I really liked a guy but he had a bad temper - he could not tolerate other people's opinions and would get angry.

As a result I went off him, and I think he has alienated a lot of people - I think he is just about billy no mates - you don't want to go there.

Answer 8

Is your doctor medicating you for the depression? If so, you'll start to feel better. It probably means you're stressed about something - get to the root of the problem, you're the only who can find it, and make that choice not to be bad tempered. You can chose to be happy.

Having a bad temper can be a good excuse for you not to deal with issues in the right way. - figure that one out for yourself, and you'll probably find the solution for World Peace!! LOL. Seriously though - go easy, don't feel guilty for feeling angry, just find a way of working through the moment, and dealing with it peacefully.

Answer 9

My flatmate is the opposite. Its like living in one of those old fashioned banks where no one was allowed to raise their voice when speaking and come to think of it, no one spoke. Very polite, very reserved, no temper. I try to be like him. I try and keep calm. I lose it when there's a crisis, or if I've had a particularly bad day, or if I am thinking about some work problem that actually happened a while ago. Therefore, when nothing awful is happening, i.e., when I'm calm and relaxed I try to practise my anger management techniques so that in the heat of the moment when some future crisis occurs I haven't forgotten how to be calm. Talk to your doctor some more.

Answer 10

I chatted about this with someone else recently, so its fresh in the mind. When you get angry and then loose your temper...who is the one that feels all the hurt, pain and rage....you...not the person that it is directed toward...they only feel a small amount of what you feel. So you are in effect just hurting yourself when you loose your temper. Relax and the efect of relaxing when you feel the anger building can feel quite funny (and you can start to laugh ...inwardly if you are wise). The reason for your anger is usually based on a failure of communication...easier done than we think....think about what you are trying to do or say that will make more sense to ther person that is making you loose your temper. Imagine you are a camera looking in on yourself as you get angry.....most of the time the scene can be quite funny.....as it tends to be the one who is getting angry looks the fool. In addition being slow to react can and usually has a greater effect of a situation than a knee jerk reaction. Counting to ten in your head and taking a deep slow controlled breathe is aclassic method.