Hello. So in my last posting I was torn between a new guy and my ex (who was abusive), Ive since made the decision to give this new guy a chance and so far things are going pretty well, but I have some issues with getting close to him. Im pretty sure its down to the way my ex used to be with me, but I cant seem to be as affectionate with him and open up as much as I used to with my ex...I really want to though! He's also recently told me he loves me, and like an idiot, I didnt say anything back! I care about him alot, but Im not sure Im 'in love' with him yet and dont believe in saying it until your 100% sure as its just leading them on otherwise! This is probably a really trivial thing, but Im starting to think somethings wrong me having this great guy and not being able to 'let go'! Any advice, words of wisdom or a posting from someone going through the same thing would be appreciated!
2006-11-13 22:31:43 · 9 answers · asked by Trixychick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is no time frame that you have to fall in love with someone. Just enjoy him, he sounds like he's really into you, so I don t think you have anything to worry about. Just be yourself, the beautiful person you are. . Stop thinking of your ex. He is exactly that, your ex!
2006-11-13 22:41:50 · answer #1 · answered by melfromhell001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow been there done that!
You are protecting yourself! This new guy must understand this? I am sure you two have discussed how your ex was?
If this man really "loves" you he will give you time. Do not feel guilty for protecting yourself!
Nothing is "trivial" when it comes to a persons feelings. Give yourself time and try not to be guilty, do not be so hard on yourself. You are not wrong, and it is cool you do not want to lead him on by telling the new guy you love him when you are not sure! Time.....
Good luck and wish you well!
2006-11-13 22:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happened to Miranda on Sex in the City,she had this great guy that she knew he was too good for her but she just couldn't let herself Love him.She ended up going back to the father of her baby.You haven't let go of your old love i.e. your ex..I suggest you give it time,maybe perfect or good guy isn't what you really want but rather what you have at the momentGive it some time.
2006-11-13 22:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Cube 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever feel you have to say things that you may not feel. Give yourself time and so should your new guy.
As for the abuser from the past keep him where he deserves - well in the past. Move on girl - just go for it.
It's a fresh start so make every day a new day in your life.
2006-11-14 00:04:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem!!
and i held back my feelings...guess what? it hurt me badly!
Whats wrong with being in love for loves sake sometimes? I think you deserve it right now. Let yourself be girly, be giddy, and have fun. He is obviously respecting you the way you should be respected, unlike Problem Boy.
My heartfelt advice? write him a letter telling him you feel for him but are a little jumbled right now. Be simple, be honest, and don't worry how you sound.
The secret is to stop editing yourself! Say what you feel, when you feel it. Blessings, sister!
2006-11-13 22:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by actress4jesus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time after an abusive partner a nice fella will take some getting used to a lot of women go from one bad relationship to another bad one don't repeat that cycle some of us nice guys are worth sticking around for..
2006-11-13 22:34:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey doll.. Its hard to let go of the past...but you must..what your doing is just reminising and you were comfy with your ex.. this is someone totally new and different. He may understand if you talk to him and tell him what your going through and how you feel. Thats one good way to start. Eventually your heart will open up to him.
2006-11-13 22:46:52 · answer #7 · answered by antonettef28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go for it girl
2006-11-13 22:32:55 · answer #8 · answered by Sandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just take your time, theres no real hurry is there,
2006-11-13 22:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by pepzi_bandit 2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋