Please help me!!! Mother have passed away and I'm the only son!?

Question

My mother passed away on Sunday, 12 November 2006 at age 59. The sad part is I'm the only son and I feel very sad and emotionally unstable. Now I'm living with my father and I am only 23 - years old. My father is have installed a pacemaker for his heart problem and that worries me too!! Should have God take my life away instead of my precious mother?? I hate myself for not respecting my mother that much but in the end, she managed to forgive me before her last breath. Please,kind users of Yahoo Answers, what can I do to overcome this period of extreme griefness that I'm facing now?

Answer 1

I am deeply sorry to hear that a mother at the age of 59 has passed away so young. I think that you need to sit down and realize that you have to grow up and set a schedule for your life at this very moment. If you are studying that means study and take care of your dad. You can go out with your friends several times a week, check that the house is in order, check on your father that he is taking care of himself and make him understand that you are now the one that will take care of him. This does not mean that you will not have a life but it means responsibility and you NEED ABSOLUTELY TO ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't feel guilty about your mom, you are young and we all are at times hard on our parents during that age.!!!!!!!
Remember to pray for your mom to give you the strenght to go on and it will take some time before you start smiling again but you will make it!!!!!! Be strong and don't feel embarassed if you need to cry and hug each night your father, because when a couple lives together and one departs the half of you dies with that person. A son, a daughter has a life to live, your father sees this as the end of his life. Hug him, tell him that you love him and make him feel most of all wanted and important. I wish you to have the strenght to overcome this terrrible period. Life is full of difficulties but show life that you are stronger!!!!!!!!
A big hug to you and your father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I don't think that there are words that can heal the pain you're feeling now. You're so young and being the only son is not easy. Phrases like time heals everything sound so meaningless at this time, but it is true. Believing that she is in a better place may also help to recomfort you. Don't hate yourself. We all regret things we've done, said or not done or said, but you should be sooo grateful that you had the opportunity to talk to you her and that your mother forgave you. What greatest gift she's left you. It will take some time before you stop hoping it was all a dream. It is normal to feel unstable and sad, but life goes on and so will you...with baby steps you'll go back to "normal" life. Now, your father also needs your support. Be there for each other. It was your mother and your father's love/partner in life. Make her proud. She'll be watching over both of you. She's your angel now. And about why God didn't take your life... well.. there's no worse feeling that losing a child and you wouldn't want her and your father to suffer the greatest lost, right? So my advice, pray to God for strenght and try to feel the love around you. God's love, your mom's love, your dad's love, your friends' and family's love. Hang on to it, and when you feel stronger. Go out there and LIVE your life to the fullest. Be happy and make your mom proud! You're not alone. Hope I helped you. Good luck! We are also here for you.

Answer 3

It is dependent. The mom could have precise her mom because the dad or mum whilst she died in a will. If so then you'll need to pass by way of the custody system, assuming she was once granted sole custody at a few factor ago. If there may be intent for you to not see the baby (like you have been ordered supervised visitation best, had been discovered responsible of abuse/molestation or have substance abuse disorders) then the probabilities aren't well. If the mum didn't go away a will, then I advocate that you simply do touch an legal professional to set up custody as quickly as viable. When my youngsters had been small, I discovered that if a will and not using a dad or mum was once no longer made, they could robotically be made wards of the state and placed into foster care, although there have been more than one family inclined to take them and lift them. If the grandmother isn't the authorized dad or mum and if you haven't any disorders ago, then it kind of feels that it could be handy to get custody, particularly when you've got been concerned to your son's lifestyles, and feature been paying baby aid through the years.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your loss and I know well how you're feeling.
My mother past away last June at age 76, two weeks before her 77th birthday.
All I can do is assure you that the grief will pass. Slowly, but it will pass.
Your worry for your father in normal, you've lost one parent and now you realize that the other won't be around forever. I feel the same way about my father. I'm very attentive and protective of him now. He's 77, almost 78 and woe to the person that tries something I don't like.
Sweetie, it'll sound funny for a man to do but this what I suggest. Take a hot bath, have a good cry and get it out of your system. It's healthy to cry, especially when you're grieving.
Talk to a grief counselor, they can help you deal with it and tell you what you should do to work it out of your system.
My crying fits lasted for weeks after we buried my mom, and they still happen, but not as often and slowly, I'm working myself through it.
Stop and think about how your mother would feel if it would have been you instead of her. No parent should have to bury a child is what she would have thought and she would have been more than willing to take your place, just like you're willing to take her place.
Remember your mother fondly and know that she would rather it be her than you. Moms are like that, they'd rather go through hell than see their kids suffer for just one moment.
Again, I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find peace soon.

Answer 5

i am very sorry to hear that, i kind-of know what u feel like losing someone close to u. i just lost my grandfather a couple of weeks ago. but u know what all u can to is pray and ask God or what ever u believe in, to help u in every step of the way, help u to guide your life. i know at being 23 year of age is kind of hard to lose your mother especially at this early stage in your life. but the worst thing u can do is give up. if your mother all ready forgave u before she left to be with the Lord then u have to forgive yourself also and move on.even thought it not going to be easy. don`t let it be 20 or 30 years from now that u have not forgiven yourself. God and your mother knows your heart, and that all that matters(smile) some times God allows bitter things to happen to make u a stronger person in life, and he also gives u another chance. now you mother is gone to be in a better place, but while u are still here on earth u still have time to be with your father and make things up to him that u could not with your mother, tell him how much u love him, and how u are going to be there for him, just as he and your mother were there for u.

Answer 6

Im really sorry to hear about your mothers passing. I dont know how you feel. But I do think I would feel the same way but at the same time and in time because it wont be overnight I'm sure you know this but just live your life in a way that your mom would approve. And as far as your dad is concerned take care of him and if the unspeakable happens as sad as it is everybody has to eventually go and a lot before their time, pray on it and talk to positive people who can help you deal with this and in the long run it will be a little easier to live your life just knowing that you are still here for a reason.

Answer 7

This is in no way your fault. It was just your mothers time. Anyway she's not gone forever. Death is not goodbye it's see you later. You will not be able to get over the pain you are feeling. You just lost the closest person to you. Time will help but will never really take all the pain away. You just have to be strong and make her proud. You also have to be strong for your dad. Show him you love and care about him. Remember life is to short so make the most of the time you have with your father.

Answer 8

I am so sorry. My mother died when I was 22 and she was 55. I was the only daughter. My father also had a heart condition. Whatever you did or didnt do whilst she was alive., you made your peace with her before she died. God wanted her, not you, He doesnt make mistakes, He needed her for other work, you must carry on and give as much happiness to others as you can. It has been many years now since I lost my mother, time does heal, and you must live your life as best you can. Talk to God, He does listen, and He does answer, you must remember to listen to His answers.

Answer 9

You have to accept that there are things beyond your control and you can only live each day at a time and enjoy it. Try to express your love for your dad before it's too late so as not to repeat your past mistakes. Grief is a very personal thing, and only time will heal. Go seek counselling and/or research for nearby support groups so at least you know you're not going through this alone. Also, seek out other family members/relatives and friends. They can help you through this tough time.

Answer 10

Your mother's passing is one issue, the way you treated her is another. Now you are in fear of losing everyone who loves you. My suggestion is that you evaluate yourself and how you treat people. Use this experience to become a better person. Be more respectful, loving, and kind. God puts us in these situations to help us become better. Recognize your weakness and change. I'm sorry about your mother, mine died when I was young. It's hard. Be easy on yourself, but use this as a turning point. Do more good for others - be selfless. Good luck!