Should I meet up with him, or not?

Question

My ex & I split 6weeks ago.We were together for an intense 3years & I'm still the only person he'll talk 2about his problems.He says he's 'seeing' this girl,a few years younger than us,but refuses 2call her his girlfriend,though I have no doubt that(if she even exists) things will have gotten sexual between them,as we were always very active in that respect.
Even though we split,we kept in touch(a bit strained sometimes)& kept up the sexual side of things,but it was always really hard &made us cry.Since then,I sent him an sms, saying that I won't contact him,cos we both need2move on with our lives(I don't really WANT2,but it'd be VERY hard 4us 2b 2gether,4many reasons)
Yesterday,he called saying how he lays awake thinking of me.He wants2meet(I suggested a cafe, not my place),but now I'm wondering if it'll b best2just leave it?I have unfinished business with him,but still?I decided yesterday that I'd let him get in touch now,but maybe I still shouldn't go?I love him.Thats the problem.

We split mainly because our families detest 1another.I would have moved away,& severed links with my family,& he has said that he would 2,but I'd find it difficult 2 trust in that.I'd b scared 2have children (which we both want)cos his mum has said b4 that she'd lie about us 2get custody.Just so u know,she was charged with murdering his father,about 20yrs ago(she'd get custody through his brother tho)&she's tried 2split us at every opportunity,writin my ex out of her will&sayin she's terminally ill.She's not.She has alot of followers however,so it's been hard 2really stand up 2her (&dangerous).Only 1member of my family is aware that this relationship existed&that's only cos his mum tried 2blackmail me& I needed help.So our relationship was more or less a secret 4 3yrs.Nobody knows that we r still in contact.
By the way, I've NEVER done anything bad 2him.

Answer 1

You tried it for three years and it didn't work so go see him and tell him it's over time to move on! And mean it!

Answer 2

Do you love him or are you USED TO him?

THAT is the question.

Many times, we get comfortable just KNOWING someone; even though in our hearts, we know that person is not our soul mate. So, because of that familiarity, we try to make things work between us and it never usually does.

Love is simple: Either it is there, or it is not.

Your ex may be remembering the feelings he had for you and during your sexual contacts, mourns the loss of the feelings he once shared with you. In all honesty, don't you feel that loss, too?

Sex will not bind you, my friend... it only will REMIND you. Think about that.

He says he is "seeing this girl" - accept that. He is admitting that there MAY be another who is winning his heart but, out of respect for you and your previous relationship, he is not defining or giving you details. Recognize that HE IS SEEEING SOMEONE ELSE - no matter on what level - and move on with YOUR life also.

There is someone looking for YOU right now!

He misses you; that is apparent. He misses the friendship and closeness you both once shared. That is why he wants to see you again. You both are truly good friends and that is a great thing to have when relationships change.

I advise you to relax and look at your ex as a good friend - nothing more - and see what cards Life deals. If it is true love, he will return (wiser and surer) but if not, YOU will have better defined the kind of man YOU want in your life as your partner - and you will have HIM to thank for that... (smile)

Enjoy your friendship. Treasure the love you shared. Look to the future. HE is out there.

Thanks for writing, my friend, and Good Luck to you!

Answer 3

I think you two need some time apart.Like maybe a week or two away with no contact at all.Kind of let your mind clear the air and put things in prospective.Maybe the two of you could make a date to meet two weeks from now to discuss how you are feeling about eachother.If you are really meant to be together then the feelings will still be there.If not then you have a good start on the separation part.This could actually strengthen your feelings toward eachother.

Answer 4

If you ex has had sexual relations in just 6 weeks after you broke up, I doubt hes heartbroken about your split. Talking about his sexual relations to you so soon after your break up is pretty unsensitive!
I think he wants to continue the closeness couples have with you but without having a relationship - a close friend perhaps?
Keep in contact by all means but via phone, text or with friends, do not meet your ex alone until you are over this guy or it will be harder for you to move on.
Start meeting people again, spend more time with your friends, have fun, cheer up and move on.

Answer 5

Did you guys go to counseling at all before you broke up?

Why did he dump you in the first place if both of you are still bouncing the headboard off the wall? That extracurricular activity is playing with your mind.

If you don't want to be with him, make a clean break. Otherwise, try to work it out with compromises from BOTH sides.

Answer 6

Relationship breakups are hard for everyone.
You didn't say why you broke up.
It is obvious that you still have feelings for each other so have you tried to sort things out together?
Don't let him use you for sex .
If he realy does not want you then stop all contact otherwise it will be hard for you to let go and get on with your life.
Good Luck
Jeffx

Answer 7

Tell him it is over and stop bothering you.

You are giving him what he wants and needs without a relationsihp. So, be strong and stand firm.

Answer 8

depends on y u split! u dont mention that! if u have serious problem then let it go, if not give it another shot!

Answer 9

You need to move on, tell him he needs to do the same as well.

Answer 10

MOve on