It's a long story so I won't go into the details.
My son is an adult but we are not on speaking terms. I trully believe that he (and his brother) is being influenced by his father and I am the bad parent. (I'm divorced from his father)
The delema I'm facing is that it's my sons birthday on Friday and I'm wondering if I should send a card.
I'm a proud person and don't want him to think that I'm doing anything more than saying I love him even though we're not talking.
2006-11-13 19:05:25 · 34 answers · asked by honey lugs 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
honey,
follow your heart
2006-11-13 19:14:49 · answer #1 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no place for false pride in a family relationship. That's different from self respect, by the way.
I'm in a similar position - I find it hard to talk to my former drug addict son whose made his wife and son's life hell. I reject his lifestyle totally. However, he has given up the drugs and his wife tells me life is the best they've ever had it. So I'm starting to come round. It's been easier because I've always kept in contact with his wife and son.
We've had a death in the family and he came around last night for the first time in 2 years. I kissed him. I couldn't help it - I still love him no matter how angry he makes me.
You love your son. You don't love the situation.
Send him a card and tell him so. Take the opportunity to say you regret the situation but you are very hurt.
Prove that you are a good parent.
Good luck. (You never know what pain is until you have children ...)
2006-11-13 19:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him a card wishing him a happy birthday and sending your love. Leave it short and sweet, least said sooner mended.
When he receives his card he will know that you still love him and are thinking of him, even though you are not talking at the moment. At the end of the day, you are still his mother and no matter what deep down I think he would be hurt if he did not receive a card on his birthday from you.
2006-11-13 19:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by benn26k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should send him a birthday card. Keep the card and verse simple. Just wish him a Happy Birthday and sign it with any of these: Love always Mum; Lots of Love Mum or just simply Love Mum. Even if he doesn't want to speak to you he will appreciate the card.
2006-11-13 19:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by patsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send a simple card saying that you are thinking of him and want to wish him a happy birthday. You are the parent, no matter what, and you brought him into this world. So of course you have the right to send him birthday wishes. If he chooses to toss it, let him. If he chooses to save it in a secret box, let him. That part is up to him and if he tosses it, may be later he might regret it. But he has to live with his chooses.
From one mother to another, never forget your children's birthday. You were there in the birthing room, were you not!?!?! Send a simple card signed 'Love, Your mother".
Good luck, you and your family will be in my prayers.
2006-11-13 19:33:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should send your son a card. But be prepared for it to be returned, even if it is, still keep sending them to show you love him, never be the one to give up and not show your love for him. God forbide but if sometime happened to him and you hadnt sent him those cards so he knew you loved him despite everything how would be feel! Dont let pride stand in your way. Dont know the details but isnt a parents love meant to be unconditional. Go for it and good luck!!
2006-11-14 00:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by book 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a seventeen year old child, I would want my mother to send me a birthday card even if we wern't talking. If you didn't I am sure your son would fee bad, maybe even unloved. That is how I would feel. I don't know about the situation but my best answer is to send him a card or call him or something.
2006-11-13 19:09:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Send the card doesnt matter how proud you are he is your son and you want to reach out otherwise you wouldnt have posted on here. Nothing wrong with saying i love you.....plenty wrong with not doing it and then maybe one day you dont get the chance
2006-11-13 21:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A piece of advice for everyone who has kids and is divorced/separated , NEVER bad mouth the 'ex' , it never pays. The kids will have their own opinions on whats what, when they are old enough. So send the card, you are his mother, he is your son. Send it and smile. Good luck.
2006-11-13 21:08:19 · answer #9 · answered by Daydreamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send a card no matter what has happened between you. I'd sign it Love always, Mum-then at least he will know you are thinking of him-then who knows?
Hope it all works out ok in the end.
2006-11-13 19:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by Somer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes - send one & say what you said at the end "I'm not doing anything more than saying I love him even though we're not talking". Would be a lovely way to build a bridge. Good luck.
2006-11-13 19:08:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋