Our second grader has suddenly taken to overacting pains, fatigue, hunger and whatever else he can think of to avoid homework. Threats of removed privileges just seem to bring accusations of meanness and a greater determination to not do it. He's normally an outstanding student and gifted in math. Any tips on breaking the Mexican homework standoff?
2006-11-13 16:35:49 · 12 answers · asked by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
A child that avoids homework can be such a hard thing on parents! Homework to them is a chore. At that age and older, they dont understand WHY they have to do it. Just like taking out the garbage... My advice to you is... designate a time for homework... 3:30pm- 4:30pm for example. Make sure that you are there to help him. Let him know that he needs to use the bathroom, eat, get "well" and do whatever he needs to do to be ready for that homework time. EVERYDAY at that same time.. and same place, homework is to be done. Children crave structure and disapline. They need to know what is going to happen next. Second graders are the same thing. They need to know what to expect. If he decides that he doesnt want to do it, or throws a fit, instead of taking things away from him, tell him that you are going to take him to school the next day and then you will be there while he tells his teacher why it isnt done (make sure that if you make this statement that you can and WILL back it up. It will be a good time to talk to his teacher about his lack of motivation too!) IF you cannot do this, say you will write a note stating that he didnt want to do it. Children have a fear of their teacher and pupils. They want to get the satisfation from them. Make a game for him.. try this one. If he has a math worksheet.. have him do it, and for every correct answer, give him a dime, for every wrong one, take one away. Let him keep his money. Buy a special piggy bank and tell him at the end of the year.. he can buy what he wants. It adds up! However it is such a small amount, that you wont notice it is gone. Take the bank out every so often and count it.. he will be excited how much he has earned. I know that homework is an age old problem. But not one that cannot be rectified. Good Luck!
2006-11-14 00:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by WestWife 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a question for you. Does he get a break between coming home and homework? if so, then stop the break. I find that if kids get a break they get out of the school mode and will not want to do homework after the break. My 8 year old was the same way. She now comes home (after a 25 minute bus ride), grabs a snack and sits down and does homework. There is very little arguing because the sooner she is done, the sooner she can go play.
2006-11-14 00:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by KathyS 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to threaten to REMOVE privliges? Priveliges should be EARNED and not handed out just 'because'. That is WHY they are called priveliges. I suggest you walk away. Let him fail. I doubt the world will end and in failing he just might learn something. He will learn that all of those who acutally did their homework get to move up a grade in school and progress while he will be left behid with "the little kids". Then too it might be that he just wasn't quite ready for the 2nd grade. At this age kids are still developing at far different paces. Some kids excell and are able to adjust while other's are still having a difficult time of it. It could also be that the subjects are getting harder as he progresses (which they usually do) and he has turned out to be not so much the "whiz" or "gifted" student his parents think he should be and he is afraid of disappointing them so he decides not to do the work in order to avoid making any mistakes.
2006-11-13 19:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's no longer adequate sleep. you've gotten to keep on putting her in mattress at 8.30 no later. lack of sleep is amazingly undesirable on your wellness and concentration. See if you are able to do a manage the instructors to enable her do her homework over the weekend - rather of weeknights. Or - we continually attempt to get all homework finished and complete through Tuesday, so something else of the week is quite loose except some reading and spelling. If she is on a workstation previous due at nighttime - this can provide up you from drowsing because the mild from pcs and television (yet fantastically pcs or gaming consols) emit a mild which over stimulates the concepts and it takes 3 hours or so for the mind to get better and turn off. So no comuters at nighttime!
2016-10-16 08:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prior to his homework, serve him some snacks and give him some free time. Switch off the TV, face his study table towards a bare wall and not open to any sort of distraction. Start with words of comfort, praise and appreciation for all that he has done and achieved in class. For these children even the slightest admiration is sufficient which will make them happy within themselves. Start with a certain subject and give him a break of 10 mts in between homework, thus preventing them from getting bored. Believe me it works, because this is what I try with my son who is 9 yrs, who gets bored too easily. At the end of it all, reward him for his assignments done well. During his free time, try keeping him mentally busy with mathematical puzzles.
2006-11-13 21:25:39 · answer #5 · answered by chrisangelia 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have been through this 100 times over. This is the advice we have recieved from teachers and administrators and what has been working for us. There will be people here who will give this a "thumbs down" because it involves stepping back and making the child responsible instead of supervising every moment of the work and forcing the child to do it. Keep in mind that this is what PROFESSIONALS have told us will work best.
Don't let it turn into a battle. Your child's teacher DOES NOT want to make your life miserable. Homework should not eat up all of your evening.
Your child is responsible to his TEACHER for his homework, NOT to you. Your job is to provide him the time, place and materials to do the work. His job is to get it done. Set a certain time and place each day where homework is to be done. Make sure he has everything he needs to do it. Give him a snack and send him to the bathroom. Then set a timer if that seems to help keep him on task. (For 2nd grade, he should have about 20 mins worth of work each night. Give he about twice that length of time to finish the work.) Then WALK AWAY. Leave it as HIS responsibility. When the time is up, see if he is done. See if he had any questions about how to do the work. Then put it back into his backpack, EVEN IF IT'S NOT FINISHED. He will face the consequences with his teacher at school the next day. (At this age, probably supervised study or missing recess to complete the work. Missing out on recess gets OLD!) School is his job and he needs to be responsible to his "boss" about completing his work. His teacher will be glad to handle this.....it's part of her job.
AT THE SAME TIME.....
You need to be in contact with the teacher. You need to make it clear to the child that you and the teacher are on the same side and he can't play you against each other. If the problem is serious, then you should have daily contact with the teacher via email or phone reguarding his progress. Leave the teacher a voice mail reguarding how much trouble you had the previous night getting him to do his work. My son's teacher will make the kids listen to their parent's messages! Or read their emails!
Schedule a conference with the teacher to discuss the problems you are having. Do you notice a problem only with specific subjects? Could it be that certain work is either too hard or too easy and that is why he is avoiding it? Are there ways that the tasks could be differnetiated so that he is more challenged if it is too easy? Instead of the rote work of copying spelling words, can he alphabetize them or put them into sentences? Instead of writing sentences, can he write a story?
ETA:
The teachers and administrators at our school have recommended AGAINST having the parent sit down with the child and keep them on task. This is the child's responsibility, not yours. The child needs to learn good study habits and that is difficult with the parent hovering. How is he going to learn to do it on his own if you are always right on top of him? He won't have good study habits later in high school in college when you can't stand over him! Step out of it. LET HIM FAIL TO DO IT AND FACE THE CONSEQUENCES.
ALSO.....
Make sure the homework has value and isn't just busywork. Is there a point to it? Or is the teacher just giving homework because the school says they must?
2006-11-14 00:49:45 · answer #6 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time to remove the privileges instead of just threatening.
My son (6) spends alot of time without TV, because it doesn't even get turned on until the homework is done and his room is picked up. He also loses TV for talking back and acting disrespectful in the car on the way home from school.
He knows homework is not an option. I will make him work on it until bedtime, if not finished, he works on it until time for school and loses TV for the next day.
I will tack on days, if needed. He went without TV for 10 days once due to his stubbornness.
Good luck!
2006-11-14 03:44:29 · answer #7 · answered by revmissus 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a little time consuming for you but I almost had to repeat fourth grade because I just didn't want to do homework so my mom started sitting down with me every night to do homework. Regardless of how much I complained, feigned illness, or cried, my mom would sit there and help out until I'd finished every single piece of homework. And to ensure I gave her the assignments, she talked to my teacher and had him sign off on my homework every night.
Quite honestly, I don't think I'd have the work ethic I have today if she hadn't done this with me. She was never mad at me or upset, she'd just sit there and me availible for help if I need it. Good luck!
2006-11-13 16:45:22 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah C 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sit with him somewhere where he can do his homework in a quiet place w no distractions- like tv- people ect=- and go over his homework w him= and see what the problem is- there must be something he does not understand= D
2006-11-13 20:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Something is obviously going on. You need to sit with him and let him know he can tell you anything.
2006-11-13 17:20:00 · answer #10 · answered by And For A Moment I Am Happy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋