how do i talk to my sisster n law about cleaning?

Question

tell my sisster n law that she really should clean her house she is so nasty dogs in the house cats and everything is ever where its so nasty i dont even want ta go and see my brother my nephew and there new baby there is never a place ta seat theres always stuff in the floor you cant even walk there is even food left from days and days just seating around and they have roaches really bad please help i dont want ta hurt her or my brother

Answer 1

i think you would do better to talk to your brother first about this . going to his wife would probably not be a good ideal . she would most likely take your comments as insults and offend her. but for the health of your brother and nephews think i would if i where you talk to my brother about this .

Answer 2

Don't visit them. Ask them instead to your house. If that isn't possible - when you go to her house - offer to help her. For example - if your nephew is having a nap - just say "Hey - come on - let's clear away some of these dishes...." or - "You must be exhausted - you go and have a rest too - I'll hold the fort!" And then surprise her by doing a spot of cleaning. Having a new baby for some women is really hard. She may be suffering a degree of depression - or sleep deprivation. If she is experiencing either - housework will be at the bottom of the 'to do ' list. Sleep deprivation is just torture. You cannot function at all. If she has a new baby - chances are that she has not slept a good night's sleep for a while. Until you experience the havoc this wreaks on your well-being - you cannot possibly understand what it does to your head. She needs some help - she will never forget that you did this for her. A friend did this for me when I had my third child. Another friend would make double quantities of soups, casseroles and even cakes(for visitors) and deliver them to my house. It really helped. After all these years - I still cannot believe that I have been blessed with such good friends. Be a friend to your sister in law - and - be your nephew's favourite auntie!!!!! Good luck!

Answer 3

I agree with the other posters, that there is a real health issue here and one that would get the local social services involved if they knew about it (hint) and they wouldn't have to divulge who had informed (hint).

Just curious as to why your brother doesn't help. Is he always working, or does he add to the problem. If it doesn't bother him, then there is little you can do. If it does, then he should help clean up. Either way it is not your place to say anything to them. It will only create animosity.

On the other hand, it is a very valid child neglect issue. I would suggest dealing with it that way - anonymously - but maybe they don't understand the dangers to the children of living in filth. It is one thing if they choose to live like that themselves and quite another when they inflict in on defenseless children.

You don't have to go over there if it makes your skin crawl, and it certainly would mine.

Answer 4

That's gross...it's not your place to say anything though. But since those are bad living conditions and they have children, I say talk with your brother. Take him out for drinks. Try not to piss him off in any way and try to get him to keep this conversation between you. Talk to him about how unhealthy it is for the kids. Maybe he will be responsive. I'm not saying you should threaten him, but someone should call CPS on their @sses. Maybe that person should be you if the talk doesn't work. Both adults in that home are emotionally unwell and I am really concerned for their children! Oh, and don't go over there anymore. If they ask why, tell them you want to see them but you aren't comfortable in their home. Please don't offer to clean; that's not your responsiblity.

Answer 5

wow sorry to hear that .I have dogs in my house but not coach roaches.The food sitting around is nasty though.Offer to help her clean and buy your brother some roach spray .Or just tell him dont you guys take turns cleaning Im afraid the babys are going to get sick from the bugs.My sister used to come over and say things all the time about my decorations or my mom and dad about my dogs ,sometimes people get to comfortable and need reminded they are being lazy,or unorganized.

Answer 6

tell her she needs to get her fat *** off the couch when she aint doin nothing and clean. and tell her if you don't clean than who will. it is embarassing for you to have such a messy house when i'm related to you. until you clean here i'm not gonna come here or have any other close relatives come here either. but seriously get off the couch. if you don't wanna clean get enough money at your job to hire pest control or get a maid or house cleaning aid for a short visit. i'm sorry but you have to and this is the only way i can tell you which is by confronting you with this problem.

sorry you have to hurt her. that is the only way you can do something. who ever said life was going to be painless. life is full of hard times and to make it easy they can clean there house so there isn't junk everwhere.
maybe you can send them this as a letter or something i guess

Answer 7

you can begin by being concerned about their family health issues especially for your nephew and the new baby..Mothers & Fathers have this common trait that they care more for their children if not for themselves..You can tell her that poor hygiene will actually brings down the children's immunity level of which it will then make them sick more often..Be more concerned about them and help them rather than to just talk and wait for things to be done..and as you said there are things around on the floor which make walking difficult..you can bring this matter regarding the safety of the children should they trip & fall, they could actually suffer from cuts (or deep cuts) and graze wounds (abrasions)..

Answer 8

It's not your home. You can offer to clean for her, especially with the new baby, but you don't have a right to tell that she's keeping her house wrong.

She has two kids, one very new. Are you a parent? I know from experience that there are days that making a sandwich is a big deal.

Either clean for her or leave it alone. It's not your mess.

Answer 9

What do you say? Absolutely nothing. The negative goodwill you will earn will far outweigh the negligible extra cleaning that she will do in anticipation of your visits. Worse, you risk the chance of alienating both your brother and nephew.

Answer 10

tell her straight up"listen i care about you my brother and my beautiful nephew and i dont want to see any of you getting any diseases like malaria, worms ex..." and if she still doesn't listen to you then she obviously doesn't care about you your brother or her son...which i kno isn't true