is it unusual for a 16 year old girl to want a baby?

Question

my boyfriend/fiance (he's 17, almost 18) & i have been together for 10 months, we're completely in love & are in the process of trying to move out of our parents homes & live together & hopefully get married sometime soon. we both decided we wanted to have a baby & have been trying for the past 3 months. well last week we started talking about it again & he decides to tell me that he doesn't think it would be a good idea to do it right now, even though he would love to have a baby with me. although i agree with him, it really broke my heart because i love children & can't wait to have my own. i cried for 2 days because i wanted it so bad & it made me so happy thinking that i would get to be a mother. i'm not naive, i know how much work having a child would be because i've always been around kids & practically helped some friends raise their kids starting when i was 8 years old, but is it weird or crazy for me to be so upset because he told me we shouldn't have a baby right now?

***i did not ask if it was a good idea, i asked if it was unusual to want a baby when i'm only 16***

and yes i do know how much work a child would be, just because i'm "only 16" & don't have my own yet doesn't mean i don't know that it would be a huge responcibilty & ALOT of work. like i said, i agree with him that it isn't a good idea right now. i just wanted to know if me being dissapointed about it was "crazy"?

Answer 1

No sweetie its not unusal but, right now i think u need to wait because you are to young .You just think you know how hard it is raising kids but you don't .One ? what if he left you ? Hes still a kid himself ya'll have no education no stable home and no financial security .You would then have to live on welfare and food stamps and they do make you work for that but how could u you have no experiance.Ya"ll need all that security first before haveing a baby. I was 16 when i got married hun its not easy i wished i would have waited cause it didn't work. I started raising my step daughter when i was 17 and trust me its very hard. I never thought it would be so hard. Please spare that child's life and wait for now maybe when you are 20 or 21 but plz wait untill you know that you are ready and that you have all the security that i mentioned

Answer 2

that is completely normal. I went through the exact same thing at you age. When I was 15 years old I was seeing this guy whom I was head over heals in love with him. He was my world. We had talked about getting married, having a baby,hell we even sat in church together every sunday passing a piece of paper back and forth writing down baby names. At the time my uncle was the captain of a ship. And If you go out so far in the sea you can get married at any age by the captain.So that's what we were gonna do. But we broke up 3 days before our 1 year anniversary. Looking back I thank god I never got pregnant. Even though we tried our damnedest's. I'm not saying you guys will break up. I really hope not. My brother and his fiance have been together since they were 12. But they waited till she was 18 to actually get engaged and start actually trying to have a baby. Because they wanted to make sure they could take excellent care of there baby. As much as you thing you are ready to take care of a baby. It takes much more than being emotionally ready. You have to be Financially ready and have a stable home to raise the baby. Good Luck Sweety!!!!!

Answer 3

It's not unusual, but it's a BAD idea. Consider for a moment the quality of life that you and the little one will have. Where will the money come from? Babies are expensive. No part-time minimum wage job is going to earn you enough to take care of a child. What about your education? Are you going to be happy with a grade 10 education?

Are your parents aware of your desire for a child? Do they approve, or at least accept it? They'd better, because you're going to need free babysitting service for a few years. You want to go out every once in a while right?

Then there's the issue of your youthful years. They don't last forever. However, if you have a child now, there won't be much to remember. No wild, crazy trips on a moment's notice, no all-night parties with your friends, nothing. You'll be stuck at home with Junior.

Last, but not least (and somewhat tongue-in-cheek), consider your body. At 16 it's still tight. Yeah. Now imagine that tight body with saggy boobs, stretch marks, and a poochy belly. That's what ya got to look forward to.

Think about it.

Answer 4

No its not weird that you are feeling upset because you are dissapointed and thats not a great feeling! You were focusing on something you wanted only to ne let down.. HOWEVER and please dont be offended but:

I honestly think that you will thank him in a few years when you realise how much you could have missed out on! Im 25 and have been married for 2yrs and we are now looking at starting a family. I was your age 9 years ago and in that 9 years i have done so much. I finished my VCE, became a qualified dental nurse, travelled o/s, partied all night long, brought a house, got married.... and here i am!

Enjoy your self!!

Focus on geting a place together and planning your wedding... dont rush your child hood away PLEASE! it is the best time of your life, i mean it!! and besides youve only been together 10 months.. and although you say your in love that is not a reason to experience everything togehter immediatly. Love is beautiful and beautiful things happen with time.

Stop dwelling and as i said focus on the good things in your life and cheer up.

Feel freee to email me if your still hurting!

Answer 5

Do you have a home? Do you have a job? Who would make the money to support this baby? If you are working, someone has to watch it, that costs money. They probably would earn more than you made. But you need to feed the baby. So we have come full circle in a matter of a few sentences. No!!! You should not have a baby right now. And yes it is wierd and crazy for you to be upset. He is being rational and you are being emotional. What about your education??? Are you going to drop out. Do you like the prospect of working at a fast food restaurant for the rest of your life. Get it together. This is all a terrible idea. By the way, when he turns 18, the law states he is a child rapist.

Answer 6

It's not unusual. Hundreds of years ago people didn't live very long the way they do today so they were marrying and starting families in their late teens. Today we live much longer, thank goodness! ( life expectancy used to be in your late 20's!) But that isn't today and it's not the world we live in. Our hormones and our bodies don't know this. If they did puberty would happen much later. So that is where some of these feelings come from.

I hope that you will find someone to talk to about these feelings. Knowing how much work a child is and actually doing it are two different things. When you do have children someday you want to give them the best life possible. In reality that isn't right now. You yourself still have a lot of maturing to do. You have alot to experience in life and need to have some time to do these things before you have children. You want to be financially secure and able to take care of yourself and your child without any assistance. Public welfare is not being financially secure. If you have a job you need to be realistic, that is part of being a responsible parent. If you were to have problems like preterm labor or other issues because at your age you would be a high risk pregnancy. You wouldn't be able to work and provide for your baby. There are thousands of reasons beyond your control that can effect your financial status. It's not fair to think welfare is an option because you want a baby. That is providing the best opportunity for your child.
I agree with your boyfriend, now is not the time. And you shouldn't be upset with him. He is being showing he is responsible and mature. He knows where you two are in life and is well grounded in reality. It is selfish and immature to think it would be fair to bring a baby into your life. I think you need to talk to someone about your feelings. And find the root of why you feel this way. Are you desperate to get out of the house? Something is going on in your life that is causing you to think that now is the time to have a child. Are you searching for someone to love you? Talk to your doctor, a counselor, planned parenthood, a pastor or call Christian family services for free to low cost couseling.
If you truly love kids than you would know that this isn't the time to have them, that you can't fully give your child what it will need. And the first step to being a good Mom is knowing when to do what is right for your child even if it's not what you want. A good parent puts the needs of their children before their own even if that means delaying having children in the first place.
There is plenty of time for kids. When you have completed your education, able to financially provide for yourself and a child without assistance. When you have a place of you own and hopefully are in a committed relationship. Then you will be able to fully enjoy being a mother.

Answer 7

Alot of young girls want to have babies, and most of the time it's not for the right reason. Its either because they think it will make the relationship stronger or so that the guy will have no choice but to be in there lives. So no it is not unusual, you just have to sit down and ask yourself "what is the real reason I want a Child at this age?" I know this from experiance, and if anything it puts alot of strain on a relationship. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but wait until your older, out of college, and have a stable job. I had my daughter right out of high school, and i love her more than anything in this world, and wouldnt trade her for anything, But honestly i WISH i would have waited until i went to college and got a real job, because those are things i want to do now and cant. So just think about that and try to do whats best for not only you but the child you want to bring into this world!

Answer 8

Is it unusual? No. But should you really have a baby? Probably not. Parenthood is difficult enough financial and emotional burden for "adults". Why have a child when you are still a child yourself?

Many times, our desires reflect our innermost feelings. It is likely that the "baby" you want to nurture, is really yourself. Please take time for yourself, and understand that if you decide to have a child, it is not a reversible decision-it will impact you the rest of your life-not simply 18 years.

Can you afford a child? Not likely. How will you clothe and feed the child? How will you continue your studies? What if the baby becomes sick? Can you afford the medicine or large hospital bills? How will you give the child all the best that life has to offer, if you've barely lived it yourself?

Please think about your potential child's future-as well as your own.

Answer 9

It's really not a good idea. You and your boyfriend should spend some more time together as a couple before you have children. My husband and I were together for 4 years before we had a baby, I can't imagine having a baby in the beginning of our relationship. You'll still be able to be a mother, just try when you are older, when you're completely moved out on your own and stable.

Answer 10

I don't even know where to start with you. You are doing everything backwards. First, finish school and finish out your childhood. If you love eachother, wait until you are both out of school and then get married. Don't live together - most likely he won't marry you then. If you get married and still want a baby, then perhaps. STOP HAVING SEX, finish school, get responsible - how can children raise children? it usually doesn't work out without parents or extended family helping. Trust me, babies do not help the relationship - it is an added burden and a lot of hard work for the next 20 years!! Think, girl! Stop and do some thinking about how you are living your life. please.